did you cross your fingers when you said forever? | POST-S4v2 RONANCE-CENTRIC AU

1.

robin leaned over the sink, hips pressed hard against the counter harshly as she gingerly smudged mascara over her eyelashes.

very rarely did robin wear makeup, but when she did it always looked good. she and nancy wheeler previously did eachothers makeup a lot, so she had a certain level of experience. robin was clumsy, but somehow deft with her hands in this particular case.

black eyeshadow tapered out from under her waterline, while a smokey brown hued shadow painted her upper lid. joyce had gifted her dark brown mascara for christmas last year, which adhered to her lashes. the look highlighted her glimmery blue eyes, making them pop out against her pale, freckled complexion. beneath her makeup, though, her eyebags were tight. they indented her face, so when the light hit her precisely right, she appeared as just tired as she felt inside.

"robin!" vickie's voice rang out clearly, reverberating against the thin walls of their apartment complex.
her footsteps approached quickly, and robin jerked up. mascara smeared across her face and she let out a quiet sigh of frustration with herself-- she could never get things right, could she?

"hey," she hummed, wiping at her cheek with a cotton ball. the mascara rubbed off easily. vickie casually slung her arm around robin's waist. "hi," she purred back.

robin looked down at her arm, tenderly squeezing her back and hip and-- god, it surprises her everytime. her gentle touch was unexpected yet remarkably comforting.

vickie leaned onto robin. "another show, baby? can't you stay here with me?"

robin gave another soft sigh. "vick,
dan is coming home-- and, you know i want to but--" she began to stammer before being cut off short.

vickie drew away, and robin cringed marginally. she missed their brief close proximity, her soothing hand placement and dainty expression which was filled with something resembling love. or-- what robin discerned as some kind of affection.

"you're right. dan's coming home. what use are you if he's around?" vickie whispered, her words like smoldering salt into a wound. robin had low self-esteem as is because of her identity, so vickie's mention of her boyfriend acted as a stark reminder she was worthless to her.

tears pricked at the corners of robin's eyes but she blinked them away, she didn't want to ruin her makeup. vickie was correct. robin was just around for vickie's sake.

"are you crying? i didn't mean to make you cry," vickie's voice returned to that sweet tone. robin nibbled at her lower lip. "no, of course not. you're right," she waved her hands, rummaging through the drawer til she landed on a tube of matte red lipstick.

"when am i not?" vickie exhaled with a smirk. robin stared back at herself in the mirror, not daring to pass a glance to vickie. the girl who reflected her seemed prettier than how robin was feeling. her clothing clung to her skin and flaunted her curves.

the little ginger briskly stood on her tippy-toes, taking a moment to press a kiss onto robin's jawline before scampering off.

"by the way, don't wear that, you look like a slut!" she called over her shoulder, and the laugh following her words that was sourced from the kitchen indicated to robin that dan was home.

she looked down to her outfit, drawing in a sharp breath. vickie was right, of course, she should cover up.

robin looked at herself once more in the mirror, judging her features. she shook her head softly, turning and flicking off the lights before she left the bathroom.

she dug through her closet rapidly, trying to locate an appropriate outfit for tonight. she ended up wearing a denim skirt and an older sweater, topped with a leather jacket and plain jewelry.

three little taps alerted robin that max was waiting for her. she glanced up and saw her standing in robin's doorway, with el loosely hanging off her shoulder, one arm looped around her waist. for a heartbeat, robin envied the affection they so openly displayed for one another. if vickie did that, robin would be over the moon.

"hey, max-- and el. ready to go?" her voice trembled a little. anxiety was twisting a tight knot in her stomach.

"are you?" max responded with a quirked brow, robin understood her blank expression as concern.

"yes. i'm looking forward to tonight, actually. i always am! i might sing something new, i dont know. i'll have to see what steve wants."

"let's go," el mumbled. robin and max both nodded and the three of them headed towards the entryway, max in the lead.

as they passed through the living room, robin weakly glanced to the couch-- vickie was slumped over dan, who was looking smug. she felt the ball in her gut tighten even more.

she averted her gaze, slamming the door shut behind them as they left.

robin was situated in the drivers seat, while max and el were snuggled up in the back. her car was tiny, frankly. meaning it barely fit the three of them.

"robin?" max murmured, hoping she'd catch the girl's attention. her gaze was firmly fixed on the concrete expanse in front of them but she tilted her head, "yes?"

"i-- er, we," she corrected, "heard vickie talking to you."

her face grew warm with embarrassment quickly, and her grip on the steering wheel grew firmer. "yeah?"

"she talks fuckin' shit to you, rob."

"language!" robin hissed, blinking the tears that threatened to spill out of her eyes away once more. "it's okay, max. really, like really okay. she just has a lot going on right now, that's all. and when she feels better-- things will be back to normal. alright? don't worry about me, please-- if anything, i should be worrying about you."

robin looked into the mirror, awaiting max's reaction. her nose scrunched up ever so slightly and el rubbed her shoulder softly.

"i don't care," she said, her tone was rough but her voice was soft. "she shouldn't speak to you like that."

"it's okay, i promise. i can't leave her," robin sniffed. "look! we're here," she pulled into an empty parking spot, her car screeching to a halt. "you guys have fun. don't talk to strangers and-"

"we are not kids," el said quietly. "we will be okay."

"i love you both," robin whispered.

"i love you too," max said. "me too, love you," el finished.

max gently grasped el's wrist and they slithered out of the car. that familiar pang of jealousy hit robin. she watched them skip through the cold air and into the library peacefully, then she pulled out of the icy parking lot and headed towards the bar.