did you cross your fingers when you said forever? | POST-S4v2 RONANCE-CENTRIC AU

2.

nancy wrapped her knit scarf tighter around her neck, puffing out as the cold spring air stung her face. her nose felt dry and was on the verge of bleeding, and her eyelashes sewn together by the frigidness.

the bus squealed to a halt at her stop, she blinked the snow off her lashes and followed in pursuit of the other passengers.

nancy situated herself next to an older woman who she vaguely recognized. her satchel hung over her shoulder, it felt like it weighed a million pounds-- in honesty, it was heavy. not a million pounds, though. she's been researching all sorts of things which meant that carting around library books all day was unavoidable and perpetual.

her body swayed as the bus slid on the icy concrete, the laden weight of her eyes dragging them closed every few minutes.

today was just like any other exhausting day at the hawkin's post. this morning, she was belittled by a fellow journalist-- "go get us coffee, nancy drew," one of them hissed at her in this low, sultry tone that reminded nancy she was only going to work until she died to serve the men.

lucas sinclair passed her an apologetic look as she stormed out towards the cafe across the street. jane ives-hopper-- el, just el, came along with her and helped her carry the trays of coffee back to her fellow journalists. el was quiet, understanding in this sort of uncanny way that made her feel all too old for her age.

both el and luke were apart of the whole upside-down bullshit. el was actually in the brunt of it. nancy understands this, she understands they're more than capable of taking care of themselves, hell, they both graduated early and--

nancy let out a low exhale, tracing small circles on the palm of her hand with her thumb.

subjecting them to witnessing the misogynistic behavior those asshole journalists spew just hurts. at the end of the day, they're still young. nobody deserves to watch that on the daily.

nancy opened her eyes, fixing her gaze on the soft snowfall outdoors. the dim twilight lit up the sky, the masts that littered the sides of the streets warmly filled the night with linen lighting. despite the late hour, people bustled around small town hawkins. did they not learn from the fateful years in which more grief was bestowed upon the town than sunlight? they barely persevered by their skin and teeth.

she forced herself to stray from those thoughts. that was long over, and she could enjoy the peaceful dusk without worrying about a monster from another dimension lurking around in the dark.

at her stop, nancy gathered her things and stumbled out of the bus. she smelt the familiar reek of weed as she climbed the stairwell, eventually finding her way to her entryway.

she scuffed her feet on the mat, packed snow falling from her boots. she pushed the door open easily, but everything felt so heavy. her shoulders were achy and her feet now numb-- not only due to the frigid weather but also because of how much she had been walking around all day.

through the weak walls, she could hear lucas, mike, will, and dustin chattering away. she could faintly make out lucas recanting stories of how the men at the post treat nancy, and she was struck with feeling of nausea she was closely acquainted with.

nancy unlaced her dollish boots, setting them neatly beneath the coat rack. she hung up her bag but not before she cautiously took out her stack of books, setting them down on the table in order.

"nancy," jonathan stumbled across their apartment, the buttons of his shirt marginally undone. he pulled her into a tight hug, lifting her up from under her armpits.

instead of being filled with relief or joy that she was told she was supposed to feel when seeing her boyfriend after an exhausting day of work, dread crept up her spine.

he reeked of weed. it was potent-- as if he didn't even bother trying to disguise it. he could've brushed his teeth before pulling her into a kiss, but he didn't. and he kissed her anyways.

their teeth clanked together uncomfortably, but jonathan was blissfully unaware. he seemed so caught up in the delight of seeing nancy he barely noticed her pulling away after a mere heartbeat.

his eyes were tinted red, his words slurred as he spoke, "i missed you." nancy studied his distorted facial features, her discomfort only gripping her harder as jonathan did-- he squeezed under her armpits, narrowly missing her boobs. she cringed.

"i missed you too, i'm tired." she almost sunk into his grasp, but she knew better then that. despite her weariness, she maintained vigilant, which was apparent by her rigid posture.

jonathan giggled, his breathing hot on her face. she retracted a little but his hands were unrelenting.

"but i've been waiting for you all day?" his eyes rounded with confusion as she twisted away again, it was now clear to jonathan she was serious. nancy was not in the spirits to entertain having dull, orgasmless sex with jonathan on top of her deplorable day at work.

"well im not in the mood," her eyebrows pinched together, she drew in a shrill breath of ease as he released her fully.

"you never are," he grunted, padding back towards the living room. nancy felt hot, unbridled rage bubbling in her stomach.

"maybe if you had a job, you'd get how fucking spent i am!" she yelled at him, her voice definitely exceeded out of their walls-- given by the sudden silence falling over the entire apartment complex. you could hear a pin drop in these conditions.

jonathan slumped onto the couch, breaking out into a fit of giggles. he pulled the smoldering joint that lingered on the coffee table up to his mouth and took a long drag. nancy stood frozen in the entryway, baffled by his disrespect.

but in fairness, he was high. he was jonathan. this isn't out of the normal, is it?

"would you be a dear and bring me something to eat, nancy?" he cooed. tears stung at her eyes but she swallowed hard, strutting past him with a book at her side.

"get something yourself," her voice quavered.

she slammed their bedroom door, twisting the lock to ensure he wouldn't get in-- she was acting as if he wasn't apart of her family. well, was he? was--

salty tears fell down nancy's face, she was spiraling again. she was spiraling on the bus and now she was spiraling in her room.

she dropped her book on the floor and dove for her bed, not bothering to undo the sheets neatly or wipe away her makeup. she wanted to wallow in her pain and lay here for forever.

she lazily opened one heavy eye to study her and jonathans bedroom. it was decorated by perfectly hung paintings and detailed floral wallpaper. she admired how perfect it was, nancy clearly remembered picking out every little piece of furniture or ornament with jonathan.

back when life was good. when she had the energy to pour copious amounts of time and effort into work, cleaning, being a good girlfriend.

now it feels like her life is in an endless loop, empty and filled with reminders of old hawkins at every turn. some memories briefly lingered and made her happy, whilst others were fleeting and caused her grief.

she sobbed into her pillow, which wasn't out of the ordinary.

the locked doorknob didn't wiggle, indicating jonathan most definitely greened out on the couch.

she tangled her body in a blanket, eventually drifting into sleep so she could wake up and repeat today tomorrow.