When He Loved Me

Chapter 28

TESS

"You look happy," Santana said shrewdly over her cup of coffee.

The aromas and sounds of the cafeteria drifted around me. The click clack of the typing on laptops and cozy jazz music playing in the background. Many corporate employees of the adjacent enterprise buildings around the coffeeshop were having lunch and there was a lot of buzzing movement.

I was getting together with Santana close to Quantum's HQ, as she had time for a long break, while I went to view an apartment for sale in the area. I had some downtime while retaining part-time commitments at the foundation in my transition to re-enrolling in college.

"I am," I responded, noticing how I was smiling genuinely as I said it.

"I'm going to be blunt and open with you, and I know that's more like Charlotte and I at least am trying to warn you beforehand," Santana commenced and took a deep breath before continuing. "I'm happy for you. You never smiled as much as you are doing now when you were with Wren—at least not a true smile. I know he was your highschool sweetheart, and he was right for you then, but Callum is right for you now."

Her directness took me aback for a second—nothing like Santana to be so open about what she thought, as she ruminated her words carefully under normal circumstances—but I let it seep in.

It still hurts to think about Wren. There was an ache under my breastbone where I used to store deeper feelings for him. He was my first, and we had been together for so long, it had become comfortable.

The obligations to both our families had molded a different future for us both. For him to step into the world of politics, for me to follow in my mother's footsteps of attending events and organizing house staff. I attempted to fulfill the expectations placed upon me by being the perfect woman in the perfect house, neglecting the goals that were important to me in life.

"I still care deeply for Wren. Don't get me wrong." I waved with my hand to diffuse the seriousness with which the conversation had turned. "But it's nothing compared to what I'm experiencing with Callum. He makes me feel alive, while with Wren, I had comfort and familiarity."

While breaking up with Wren had been a natural progression of the extinguishing flames over the years, it was Callum reminding me who I was without Wren. That made me take the irrevocable step.

The feelings I had for Callum came back progressively and grew into more when we got to know each other as the people we were today, but in the end had nothing to do with my relationship to Wren. It had run its course and was doomed even before Callum showed up on the doorstep.

"He challenges you," Santana said matter-of-factly. "You have always yearned for more say and involvement in the foundation your grandmother started. Wren wasn't a supporting partner in what you wanted to accomplish, while Callum gives you a nudge in the right direction and encourages you."

I thought about that for a minute and had to nod my head in agreement. There was more to the changes I made recently in my life. I wasn't the shy Tess that didn't speak her mind and felt subdued anymore.

The server brought our sandwiches, and I asked for a coffee refill, offering her my empty cup.

"I can be myself around him." The admission slipped out before I could stop it and Santana's gaze widened. I looked at a point in the cafeteria behind her to not meet her eyes. There was a lot about the last months with Wren that I didn't even dare to speak out loud to my girlfriends. "There are no societal expectations. Callum doesn't tell me how to behave, how to dress—"

I interrupted myself when I saw Callum walk in through the door I had been fixating on.

"Tess?" Santana asked me, before turning slightly to see what had caught my attention.