Just Tell Me It's Not The End

Part 4

Three days later I found myself in the hospital. Ironically that same hospital that I spend so much time in the past. Of course, I happened to end up here for completely different reasons. This time it was Ella related. She was exhausted and needed hospitalization, they even wondered what would have happened if I hadn't been in her apartment when I was.

Other part of her exhaustion was stress and I guess hearing everything what I have told here was the breaking point.

Even with a lot of controversy as you can guess I mean Alyssa who couldn't trust me easily, I still managed to stay by Ella's side all this time. Luckily the girls agreed not to tell Ella's parents. At least for now, and hospital didn't find it as a necessity knowing that there are people who care either way.

I don't know if I should mention that in these couple of days happened a lot of things but I want to think that it did. As I had guessed before Kyla didn't notice when Ella get back because she was too engrossed in her conversation on the phone with Angel. Maybe it all turn out better this way.

Kyla used this way and finally had a serious conversation with both Dennise and Alyssa. I heard that it was really long and probably tiring. Kyla revealed the details of my coma and staying in the hospital meanwhile those two heard about all of it for the very first time.

The density of people surprises me sometimes. I'm not saying that I'm any better in this situation but no one actually discussing anything for this long... the world is a strange and scary place.

It's a bit hard to change your mind overnight so Alyssa still had a little bit of a problem with communication with me in a civilized manner. She still agreed to talk about the past and I realized that I should just give this girl some time. After all, she blamed me for all Ella's misfortunes for all this time, she found me as the responsible person for everything and she even had a good relationship with Ella's parents.

Either way, Alyssa and Dennise told me about these years. Ella took our 'break up' that didn't even happen, really bad. She had depression for few years. She traveled whenever she could without staying in one place for long and just wanting to get lost. Sometimes she left her friends worried if she's still actually alive or not.

Few years ago she came back with controlled feelings and concentrated on the work. She could be called number one workaholic if there were some sort of categories. A lot of time she spend nights at work, simply getting lost in all of those papers rather than having to deal with people.

She stopped believing in love that's why even this whole arrangement to get married for the well-being of her company and for the happiness of her parents didn't sound like a bad idea.

The Ella that I remember would have never agreed to get married with someone whom she didn't love.

This help me realize that I wasn't the only one who had it bad. Who was confused, hurt... all was left to do is talk with her... wait for Ella to wake up...for as long as it takes... with hope that she believes me, with hope that she loves me the same way that I do love her, with hope that she still wants to be with me, with hope that she will tell me that it's not the end of our love.

"Hello, yes, I do remember you. You were my patient back then, right? Well not mine... I was just a nurse... I'm a doctor now", the girl smiled politely while keeping eye contact with me while we stood quite close to Ella's bed.

I nod my head remembering her. She was there when I woke up. I looked down at her name tag, doctor Isabel Beatriz De Leon. Yes, the name sounds familiar.

"Yes, you did take good care of me. Thank you for that... and for this... were you the one who agreed that we don't need to call every single person Ella knows, so it's not necessary for her parents to show up?"

"You're grown-ups, so yes, I don't think that's necessary. Also, it looks like she's in good care. She should wake up soon enough"

I nod my head feeling both thankful and nervous unsure what to say anymore... after doctor De Leon left I sat down in my usual spot next to Ella's bed and looked at her sleeping face. So calm and peaceful... as beautiful as I remembered. Even more beautiful with years...

Surprisingly, she opened her eyes pretty much at the same moment when doors were closed. At first looking at the ceiling and then slowly turning her eyes in my direction.

I tried to form a smile. Apologetic one. I think it turn out to be a nervous one but that's all I managed to do for the time meaning. "Hey...", I whispered nervously while readjusting a strand of Ella's hair. "You're up... do you... feel rested? At least... a bit...?"

Ella kept her gaze on me while I still couldn't take my hand away. Having an opportunity to touch her skin even for a short while, I couldn't stop myself for using this chance.

"Water?"

She cough and there is no surprise as she hadn't spoken for three days just lying in bed. I felt a bit disappointed that I need to take my hand away, but of course I rushed to give her the water she asked for. I help Ella out with drinking it and can see how her face looked more lively now.

"You had to stay in a hospital for few days because you were exhausted and needed recovery... I know you're not a fan of hospitals but... that was the only possible outcome in this situation".

Ella nod her head slowly "you stayed...in here?" asking carefully.

I gathered my thoughts realizing that she probably have heard my short interaction with doctor De Leon so I nod my head with confirmation.

"Not in this exact bed though... but yeah... I had to spend some time in here..."

"That's not some time... that's a whole year..." Ella commented sadly turning her eyes away from mine and staring at the ceiling. I wish I could read what she was thinking, I can only guess right now... but I want to know for real.

"ELLA! I HAVE JUST HEARD ABOUT THIS!" I turn to look at the door as tall, dark haired guy ran inside with worry written all over his face. So that must be the...groom.

He ignored my existence going straight to the love of my life "You got me so worried when I have heard about it".

Ella looked at him smiling apologetically, and answering really quietly. I could barely make out the words she used "sorry... that really... didn't include my plans..."

All I could feel was jealousy. How long this guy stayed by her side when I was away? Does he mean anything to Ella? What if all of a sudden, she realized that she's developing feelings for him and they are in a serious relationship... what if earlier Ella got angry when I showed up because she actually wanted this wedding to happen... what if...

"Excuse me... maybe you could leave us alone for at least couple of minutes?" he looked in my direction smiling politely. Like I'm some bug flying around and disturbing his love nest. Are you kidding me?

I nod my head obediently "yes... of course". Before leaving I looked at Ella for one more time but she averted her eyes avoiding my gaze. Should I take this as a bad sign? I have no other choice just to walk out and wait outside. Not sure what I'm even waiting for...

It would have been foolish to stand outside the door and try to listen of what they are talking about, that thought crossed my mind but I probably wouldn't have even heard anything as Ella's bed was far away from the door and I doubt they intent to scream.

I know Dennise told me that Ella is not happy but what if she is...what if those six years that haven't changed anything for me... that haven't changed my feelings at all... not only scattered Ella's world but changed her dreams and hopes as well. Changed her love...

I couldn't stop myself from panicking. That's all I did. I'm not sure how long those two even talked... did they agree to change the date of the wedding because of Ella's exhaustion? Did they confess to each other that they can't live without one another? Did they... no... I don't want to imagine anything else.

Finally, probably after at least 10 minutes that guy (I don't know his name because all Kyla told me was that it starts with H... something like Harry, Henry... walked out looking at me... well quite simply actually. No hate... no blame... maybe Ella did choose him? Maybe he doesn't even know about my existence and our past?

"You can go back in", that's all he told me and walked away.

Confused I walked inside trying to smile in the same manner like before. I walked back to the same spot I stood before, staring back at Ella who didn't turn her eyes away as well.

All of a sudden, I can see tears filling up in her eyes. Wait... no...

I soon leaned in catching them with my fingers and spoke up with worry "no no...it's okay... I understand... if you forget about me... if you don't love me anymore... if all of this is too much... if it has been too long... I understand... I just... I want you to be happy you know..." I could feel myself tearing up as well. That's what to expect in this situation I guess.

I'm close to giving up my love... if I have to leave Manila again and never come back for the sake of you...my love... I will...now when I know everything that happened in the past...I just want to see you happy... even if the person who makes you happy is not me...

"So it's okay... you can ask me anything... I understand...I'm sorry if this disturbed you...changed your plans or..."

"Y...you...should be angry", Ella commented surprised with tears still streaming down her beautiful face.

"What? Why?"

"I WASN'T HERE! YOU LAY IN A HOSPITAL BED AND I WASN'T THERE! YOU SHOULD HATE ME. HATE ME!"

"Stop...now", Ella I don't blame you for anything. Why are you blaming yourself?

"I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN! I SHOULD HAVE GUESSED! Instead of getting hurt and running away... I should have search more... find Kyla and get a confirmation of that letter... I believed it so easily... HATE ME!"

"I could never hate you... you're the only one I love", I whispered while leaning closer.

Ella also kept on whispering and repeating that I should hate her and because of that I captured her lips with mine.

I put everything into this kiss. All the hurt, all the mistakes, all the stupidity that can be applied for both of us. Maybe that's the last kiss I'm going to have... I need to give my all if that's the case.

We had to separate for air and Ella spoke up again "I left him but..."

"You did?" I instantly asked hopefully.

"He can find another love, we only had an agreement... this wouldn't have been real even if we got married... I let him search for the love he deserves... but..."

"But...?"

"I don't deserve you..."

I laughed with relief, I couldn't just stop myself. Even with both of us crying like kindergarten kids, all of a sudden, I see my future, a lot brighter.

"I love you ... do you still love me? That's all that I care about..."

"Of course I do, lablab! But..."

lablab... she's not calling me Jema anymore. I'm hearing the nickname that annoyed me sometimes in the past but from Ella's lips it's like the biggest confirmation of her love.

I didn't let her finish and kissed Ella again with passion. Even disturbed with her own thoughts she answered my kisses putting even more pressure into them.

Between those kisses as we missed each other lips so much I commented truthfully "we will figure all of this out... just tell me that you want to be with me... just tell me it's not the end and we will figure absolutely everything out...with time... with patience... with everything... I love you, Ella... you know... I still have that proposal ring"

Ella looked at me with pure love and surprise. "You...do?"

To prove my point I take it out from my purse. All these years I kept in by my side. Not on my finger but somewhere close by...

"Should I put it back on or...?"

"No..."

"No?"

"No... you should give it back to me..."

"Wait...why?"

Ella put her hand in front of herself smiling shortly. Still hurt but at the same time I can see sparks in her eyes. "I might give it back to you some time in the future so..."

I didn't realize I have held my breath for few seconds thinking that Ella wants to end everything with me for good.

"What no... its mine forever... you made your choice... learn to live with it", I showed her my tongue playfully but then noticed that even though she laughed she still seemed worried. "hmm... what are you going to do...with your parents and..."

"You know I won't leave them behind... they gave birth to me...they do love me... even in such manner...but maybe we can punish them a little... spending Christmas and New Year with friends... visiting them rarely in comparison with the past... though...well most likely... just spending Christmas with our friends instead of my parents..."

I laughed with relief and stole one more kiss from Ella. I don't know since when I became such a kissing monster but I just can't help myself or control it anymore. "I love this idea very much..."

I hold her face with both of my hand's inches away from her eyes, her lips, her nose... my Ella... "I'm so happy right now...but you still haven't answered..."

Knowing what I want to hear Ella ended my thought "It's not the End. It's just a new beginning for both of us. Together."


THE END