glitch

chapter two - the ball

My self-esteem may have been in a landfill for a decade, but when I'm forced to go out, I will always make sure to look my best.

Nowadays, I don't put nearly as much effort into my everyday look as I used to, back when I was in high school and still thinking I was normal. It's almost weird to think I used to actually spend the time and money on braids or twists. My hair is about as natural as it gets these days; I only splurge for a decent fade when Ma bugs me enough about looking "messy."

But I digress. If I have to go out to something fancy, I'm going to give it my all, damn it! Dad calls it "spiting the universe," and I think that's a great term for it. The world has made my life so much harder than it needs to be, but I'm still going to look hot.

So here I stand, looking over myself in my bedroom mirror fifteen minutes before we have to leave for the Alphas' manor. And even though I do, in fact, look hot, I'm suddenly very, very nervous.

I'd chosen a dark red suit with some golden accents, aiming to look good but not stand out too much, and I think I achieved it. The shirt was a tad on the big side—I'd gotten it for my senior prom that I didn't end up going to, and I guess I've lost some weight since then—but it was nothing a cute belt around my middle couldn't fix. It made the slight bagginess look more intentional, at least.

...but is it too much?

What if the Alphas had a secret phobia of red, and by showing up, I'm going to ruin their entire marriage and the pack would fall apart?

I turn just enough so I don't have to see myself for a moment, shutting my eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths. It'll all be okay; I'm just worried about being out and about, and my parents' cooing about my "future mate" isn't helping. Because, really, if I haven't found her by now, there's no way I'd be finding her tonight.

Once I feel calm enough, I look back at myself in the mirror, smoothing out the jacket with a soft exhale. The deep red looks nice on me, and the gold pops against my dark skin; Ma had convinced me to get my hair trimmed and cleaned up in the two weeks leading up to tonight, too, so I look snazzy, even with the little bit of stubble I didn't get around to shaving this morning. Or, I think I look good, anyway.

I'd just finished my final pass when I hear Ma calling, and I take one last deep breath before trotting down to meet her at the front door.

"Oh, you look so handsome, Theo," she muses, patting my arms and giving me a kiss on the cheek when I bent enough to allow it. She had a navy blue dress with golden floral designs, as well as a matching headwrap.

Dad, sticking with her theme, had a dark blue suit with a golden floral handkerchief in his breast pocket. He's already outside getting the car started and setting himself up in the passenger seat, and by the time Ma finishes "adjusting" my outfit and ushers me into the back seat, we're raring to go.

Well, they are. I'm still struggling with my nerves. But I have a whole car ride to sort myself out, so surely I'll be okay. Positively. Maybe.

———

As it turns out, the car ride wasn't quite long enough to really calm myself down. It was only about ten minutes, which in theory should have been fine, but I'm me—of course I managed to stay anxious and sad for the entirety of it.

It occurrs to me, as we're pulling into the manor's massive driveway, that I've never been this close to the Alphas' place before, much less gone inside. I don't think I've even seen the Alpha pairing in person. I only hope they aren't as entitled and rude as some Alphas are said to be; I get the whole "in charge of everything" thing is a bit taxing, but it should be common decency not to take it out on your subjects.