LABYRINTH of HEARTS (DRARRY Romance)

MEMORY VIAL 25: THE PROMISE LINE (YEAR 5)

Harry supposed his moral compass had to be severely compromised in order for it to allow him to kiss Cho at the end of the last D.A. meeting before the holidays. While the kiss had mostly been unpleasant, he imagined it would not have been so bad if she hadn't been crying. Of all the things they could have done with each other in the Room of Requirement, she had chosen to use his shoulder as a tissue rag in between the many awkward kisses they had shared. Maybe he was a terrible kisser like Ron had said, and that was the real reason why she'd been unable to enjoy herself.

Harry had felt some sparks during their time together, but it was nothing like what he had experienced with Draco. Even with the tears, however, it had been an exciting experience, probably because she was the first girl he had ever kissed.

He wanted to enjoy kissing her properly on the next go-around, without all the crying. Harry had been hoping for more than just snogging, to really get acquainted with what girls were like, but Cho had wanted to bond over their shared trauma about Cedric, which he simply couldn't do because...

Well, because Harry did not feel comfortable with her. He did not feel safe sharing anything he'd rather forget—and Draco had already beaten her to absorbing those parts of him. Somehow, Draco had made their whole venture into emotional territory safe by allowing Harry to control it—and allowing Harry to vent the meanest, most selfish parts of himself without punishment.

Unlike Cho, Draco hadn't pressured him. It was like magic, the effect the other boy had on him—and it was just plain weird of Cho to want to talk about her dead boyfriend, as if it wouldn't make Harry feel like he was still in competition with Cedric. And while, sure, Hermione had explained Cho's feelings to Harry, he couldn't help thinking: I have feelings, too...

No one ever seemed to acknowledge Harry's emotions, unless it was to tell him to stop showing them. The one person he would have expected to dismiss his feelings out of hand was the only one willing to make space for them, even when Harry got out of control. The last thing Harry had expected was to be shown tolerance by the most intolerant boy in the whole school. But somehow Draco had done it. And maybe that was why Harry was putting up with everything that was objectionable about Draco. It was his way of returning the favor.

Or maybe, Harry thought, I'm more of a pushover than I thought. Maybe I'm so desperate to keep him that I'll do anything, even if it's wrong.

Draco was the only one who looked beyond the hard chrysalis of his anger at the scared, little child that was tucked away inside. Only Draco braved getting stung by Harry whenever he reached into that hard shell to hold Harry's hand, as if to say, "Don't worry. Nothing'll touch you as long as I'm here. You can stay in there as long as you like, but I'd really love for you to come out. You're safe with me."

It was the exact opposite of what Harry would've expected from that grandiose, self-entitled boy. Harry couldn't understand his own behavior half the time, but all Draco apparently wanted was to be near all his dysfunction. It didn't make sense. It was completely irrational. But it made Harry feel good. It made him happy to have someone willing to listen to him because...

I have feelings, too.

Harry forgot about Cho during the winter holidays, but that was partly due to several unexpected things happening.

One of those things took place on the day Snape showed up at Grimmauld Place to announce he would be giving Harry Occlumency lessons. On his way to the kitchen, Harry overheard Snape whispering something spitefully to Sirius through the door that led down into the basement.

"You feel threatened in my presence, don't you, Sirius...?"

Snape had spoken so quietly that Harry had to press his ear to the open gap along the doorframe to make out the rest of what was said.