The Lost Girls || Bbangsaz

XXV

Hyein slung a backpack over her shoulder and looked over the wreckage of the last place she'd been able to call home. Not even an echo of our childhood lingered there anymore. The space had become a wasteland.

     Her expression held no sorrow as she took in the crumbling plaster and specks of mold. Only resignation. This was the end, at last.

     "I feel like I should make a speech," she said.

     I stood beside her and put my arm around her shoulders, tilting my head to rest against hers. "You could say goodbye to your mom. Or say goodbye to Edie."

     "I've already done both those things." She turned around. "Let's just go."

     For Hyein, there would be no lengthy reminiscing. No last words.

     If she got caught up in sentimentality, it would be that much harder to walk away. Later, after this was all over and we were far from here, she'd find what I wish she'd been able to say now.

     Dani, Haerin, and I followed her out of the house. We didn't bother to shut the door. There was no point to it. In another fifty years, the house would be reclaimed by nature and crumble to dust. Maybe it would become another town legend, like Amelia's house had been for both Dani and me. Or maybe the history would die out, like so many others. At least it would live on in Hyein. If she allowed herself to look back every now and then.

     The last of the fallen autumn leaves crunched beneath our feet as we trekked through various yards on our way to the school. The air held a snap of winter chill. Snow would be coming soon.

     "I can't believe this is our last night in this town."

     "Will you come back for your mother's funeral when she dies?" Hyein asked.

     "No." I wouldn't have any memories left to mourn. "She probably won't even have a funeral. There is no one left to arrange it, no one who would even bother." Her death would be quiet. She spent her life chasing people who never wanted her, while pushing away anyone who would've cared.

     Guilt threatened to make its familiar presence known, but more than anything, it just left me feeling empty. Wishing things had been different.

     As soon as we set foot on the black concrete of the schools parking lot, Hyein shuddered. "I hate it here. It's like walking over my own grave."

     A few weeks ago, I would've blamed time, but time had nothing to do with Hyein's discomfort. Regret was a heavy burden to carry. It made everything feel like it fit wrong, even the air we breathed.

     Dani and Haerin walked ahead, and I hung back with Hyein. As far as we knew, it wasn't technically necessary for us to burn our heirlooms in the place where we'd all been turned, but so many rituals were nothing more than established patterns. We figured it couldn't hurt.

     "You can stay on the edge, until we're done, if you want," I said.

     "Yeah." She looked over my shoulder at Dani and Haerin. "I don't need to be a part of this, and I hate it here." She tossed her backpack onto the grass. "I'll just wait until Elton shows up."

     "I'm sorry." I squeezed her arms. "Sorry you died here because I wouldn't listen. Sorry your mom died alone when you should've been there. I'm sorriest I won't remember you."

     She nudged me. "You'll remember some of me."

     If we hadn't reconnected these last few weeks, all I would've had was the memory of turning her. I grabbed her hand. "Please keep who I had been alive, remind me every so often, even if it'll mean nothing to me."