Supernatural Oneshots

16. Just Watch Me

This includes direct quotes from 5x03 where Dean and Cas trap Raphael in holy fire.

Smut warning

Cas appeared in the kitchen of the abandoned house where him and Dean planned to summon the archangel, Raphael. "Where have you been?" Dean asked, startled by the angels sudden appearance.

"Jerusalem." Cas responded as he walked towards Dean, setting a canister of holy oil on the table. "Oh, how was it?" Dean was trying to be sarcastic, but of course, Cas couldn't tell. "Arid." Cas responded in his typical gruff voice.

Dean looked down at the canister, "What is that?" Cas immediately responded as he sat at the table, "it's oil. It's very special and very rare." Cas looked around the room. "Ok, uh... we're gonna trap Raphael with a nice vinaigrette?" Dean said, gesturing towards the oil.

"No." Cas looked up at Dean, "So, this ritual of yours... when's it gotta go down?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sunrise." Cas didn't seem very interested in the conversation. It seemed as though he was trying to respond as fast as possible... maybe he was nervous?

"Tell me something, you keep saying we're gonna trap this guy. But isn't that kinda like trapping a hurricane with a butterfly net?" Dean's used a 'know it all' tone of voice. He thought the trap was useless against Raphael.

"No. It's harder." Cas responded, looking at the floor. He knew the trap would work, but he was still worried they could mess it up somehow.

"Do we have any chance of surviving this?" Dean asked, closing his eyes and raising his eyebrows. "You do." Cas looked up at Dean again, his voice sounding hopeful but defeated at the same time.

Dean took a deep breath, "So odds are, you're a dead man tomorrow?" The room was silent for a moment before Cas answered, "Yes." Another one word response from Cas.

"Wow." Dean breathed out while walking around Cas, "well, last night on earth. What are your plans?" He continued, dropping his arms against his sides. "I just thought I'd sit here quietly." Cas said without looking at Dean.

Dean looked around the room as if he was waiting for a laugh track, "dude, come on. Anything? Booze, women...?" Cas gave Dean a scared look before jolting his eyes to the floor, desperately trying to avoid eye contact.

"You have been with a woman before... right? Or an angel, at least?" Dean questioned. Cas rubbed the back of his neck, remaining silent. He was still desperately trying to avoid looking at Dean. 'He doesn't know..." Cas thought to himself.

Dean leaned down, closer to Cas' ear, "you mean to tell me you've never done a little 'cloud seeding?'"

"I've never had occasion, ok?" Cas responded, quickly thinking of an excuse. Dean stood up straight, looking around the room. He had a plan.

"Alright, let me tell you there are two things I know for certain. One... Bert and Ernie are gay, two... you are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch. Let's go." Dean put his coat on and grabbed his keys.

'Fuck...' Cas thought as he looked around the room awkwardly, still sitting. He finally stood up and followed Dean to the car.

They got to a club. There was a bar, women, and back rooms for private dances. It was perfect. Dean bought Cas a beer, and they sat there talking while they waited for a woman to ask Cas for a dance.

A woman walked up and talked to Cas. He was very awkward and couldn't even say his name. After she revealed her name was 'chastity,' Cas chugged half of his beer. His eyes were wide and panicked.

Chastity took him to the back, and a few moments later, Dean heard a loud scream. He ran back to see chastity yelling at Cas and Cas just standing there confused.