Motherless

Safe in Your Arms

As Amanda and I finished washing the dishes, the kitchen now clean and orderly, I turned to put the last plate away when I felt a small pair of arms wrap around my waist. I looked down to see Talia cuddled up against me, her head resting on my side.

I couldn't help but giggle at the sight. "Talia, are you tired?" I asked gently, stroking her hair.

She nodded her head against me, her fatigue evident. "Mm-hmm," she mumbled softly.

I smiled warmly, bending down slightly to meet her gaze. "Why don't you head to bed, sweetheart? I'll be up soon to tuck you in."

Talia looked up at me, her eyes heavy with sleep but filled with trust. "Okay," she whispered. Turning to Amanda, she added, "Goodnight, Amanda."

"Goodnight, Talia," Amanda replied with a warm smile.

Talia turned back to me, her words a bit slurred from sleepiness. "Goodnight, Mo—" she began, but then faltered, almost saying something else. "Goodnight, Melody," she corrected herself, though I noticed the slip.

As she padded off to her room, I exchanged a quick glance with Amanda. We both had caught the near-slip, and Amanda's eyes were filled with understanding and a touch of amusement.

After Talia disappeared down the hallway, Amanda leaned against the counter and raised an eyebrow at me. "She almost called you 'Mom,'" she noted with a gentle smile.

I nodded, feeling a mix of emotions swell within me. "Yeah, I noticed," I said softly, trying to keep my voice steady.

"How do you feel about that?" Amanda asked, her tone serious but kind.

I took a deep breath, trying to articulate my feelings. "I don't know. It's... it's a lot, you know? But it also feels right, in a way. Like, if it helps her feel safe and loved, then I'm okay with it."

Amanda reached out and squeezed my hand. "You're doing an amazing job, Mel. Seriously."

"Thanks, Amanda," I replied, squeezing her hand back. "That means a lot."

We stood there in silence for a moment, the weight of the day's events settling over us. Finally, Amanda straightened up, glancing at the clock. "I should probably get going," she said, though she didn't seem in a hurry to leave.

I nodded, feeling a twinge of sadness at the thought of her leaving. "Yeah, I guess so. Thanks for coming over, Amanda. It really helped."

"Anytime, sis," Amanda said, pulling me into a tight hug. "You know I'm always here for you."

We hugged for a long moment before she finally pulled away. "Take care of yourself, okay? And take care of Talia."

"I will," I promised, walking her to the door.

As Amanda stepped outside, she turned back to give me one last smile. "Love you, Mel."

"Love you too, Amanda," I replied, watching as she walked to her car and drove off into the night.

I closed the door behind her, the house feeling a little emptier without her presence. Heading upstairs, to Talia's room, I could hear the soft sound of her breathing from the hallway. When I pushed the door open, she turned her head slightly, her eyes sleepy but still open.

"Melody, can you stay with me for a while?" she asked, her voice small and vulnerable.

My heart melted at her request. "Of course, sweetie," I said softly, slipping off my shoes and climbing into bed behind her. I gently pulled her close, her back resting against my chest.

I wrapped my arms around her, rubbing her arms slowly and gently. I could feel her relax against me, the tension melting away. "You're safe here, Talia," I whispered.

For a moment, we lay there in comfortable silence. Then, Talia turned her head slightly, her voice barely above a whisper. "I love you, Melody," she said.

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, and I hugged her a little tighter. "I love you too, Talia," I whispered back. I pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek, then another to her shoulder, feeling her shiver slightly under my touch.

I continued to whisper sweet things in her ear, words of love and reassurance. "You are so brave, Talia. So strong. You are loved, and you are safe. I'm here, always."

I could feel her breathing slow and deepen as she began to drift off to sleep, my words a gentle lullaby in her ear. I kept rubbing her arms, my movements slow and soothing, until I was sure she was asleep.

As I lay there, holding her close, I felt a deep sense of peace and contentment. Talia was finally safe, finally able to sleep without fear. And I would do everything in my power to keep it that way.

"I'll always be here for you, Talia," I whispered one last time, kissing her shoulder gently. "Always."

With her safely in my arms, I closed my eyes, feeling the steady rhythm of her breathing against me. For the first time in a long time, I felt like everything was going to be okay. We were a family now.

———
I carefully slipped out from behind Talia, making sure not to disturb her peaceful slumber, a sense of warmth and determination filled me. She looked so serene, cocooned in her blankets, the faint glow of moonlight casting soft shadows across the room.

With a silent step, I tiptoed out of Talia's room, leaving the door slightly ajar to let in a comforting sliver of light. Descending the stairs, I made my way to the kitchen, the familiar creak of the floorboards echoing in the quiet house.

I reached for a bottle of wine from the cupboard, pouring myself a modest glass as the rich scent filled the air. Sitting down at the kitchen table with my laptop, I opened the application for Talia's adoption, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement flutter in my chest.

As I filled out the adoption application for Talia, the questions seemed to echo through the quiet kitchen, almost as if they were meant for me alone. "Describe your relationship with the child," the form prompted, and I found myself transported back to the countless moments we'd shared together. "How do you plan to support the child's emotional well-being?" Another question seemed to pierce through the silence, reminding me of the late-night conversations and tender reassurances we'd exchanged.

With each question, it felt as though I was speaking not just to the form, but to myself, reliving the journey we'd embarked upon. "What challenges do you anticipate as a potential adoptive parent?" The words hung in the air, stirring a whirlwind of emotions within me. As I typed out my response, I couldn't help but acknowledge the uncertainties that lay ahead, yet I was filled with a sense of determination to overcome them.

With a sigh, I clicked through the final questions, the cursor blinking expectantly as I reached the last page. "Are you ready to commit to providing a loving and stable home for the child?" The question seemed to linger in the air, a poignant reminder of the responsibility I was undertaking. Without hesitation, I clicked "yes," knowing in my heart that I was more than ready to embrace this new chapter in our lives.

As I submitted the application, a wave of relief washed over me, mingled with a quiet sense of anticipation. The journey ahead would undoubtedly be filled with challenges and uncertainties, but I was ready to face them head-on, armed with love and determination.