kintsugi

Lifelines and leaders (part ii)

Porcahy's POV:
I was sleeping peacefully on the shoulders of Nova but suddenly I felt a hand patting me I instinctively woke up and saw  Phi Porsche there. He had tears in his eyes but was still caressing  my head as if I  am a little baby but strangely now I still can't feel the warmth in my heart from him  . The comforting and protective warmth that I felt that I felt from him is now lost . There was a time when I just needed him in this whole world but now it feels like he is just another normal human. I  doesn't hate him but that doesn't mean that I don't resent him for what he has done to me .  I just want to ask him some questions from him .Was I so bad of a brother that he could trust anyone but me ? He always says that he loved me but how can love not provide him the trust that I could  never harm Phoneix and Khun Kinn. I felt betrayed that he believed his lover , Brother in law but not his own brother ? I  would have not felt that broken if he had    believed me because it was always him and me against the world .He was not just my  brother but he was also my best buddy , my parent  and my comrade against this world but  that day he called me names and didn't trust me I felt like I have lost my whole family in one go . I don't know how to even talk to him while  he was still caressing m y head .  Then he said "I am really sorry Chay I hurt you . I am the person who couldn't protect you I am really sorry because of me you have to go to all the things alone  I am really sorry. I know you must be angry as you must but can you please not say me khun you ? Can you please call me Hia or even phi  you need I trust me I understand that but please don't  treat me like a stranger . I will try to win your trust so can you please give me a chance . "

I really don't know how to react to him . Many things are going on in my life. I really not want to hurt Phi Porsche but also I can't forgot all the things that happened in the past. I opened my eyes and  Phi Porsche gently said "Chay you have woken up see I made  your favorite breakfast . So please have breakfast na?

I really don't want to hurt his feelings but still I don't want to develop any relations with the major family . So I said to him "Thanks for your kindness Khun but I don't want to have breakfast know ." I don't want him to have any fake hope that all the things will be back to normal because it can never be the same . 

Then I saw Khun Kinn and I said to him "Khun Kinn you wanted  to have meeting with the Italian mafia family so let's have  a talk so that I can  organize with other mafia's. Will it be ok if we organize it today ."Because no matter what even thought I am a father but also a leader so I have to think about the welfare of my people . I know Melo will win this fight of life.

Khun Kinn  said " If it's ok so let's do it today ." Saying this he left with Porsche . I can see the pain in Phi porsche eyes but today I can't help it. He said to me " Porchay take care and please take care na .If you need anything just come to me and please eat the breakfast na."

Saying this  he left . By the Nova had already woken up he gently patted my head and said "you know it's bad to waste food so let's eat it .He took a piece of that breakfast and pointed towards me I hesitantly eat it and  then what I feared the most came true all the good memories I had with this  dish replayed in my mind and tears once again begin to fall from my eyes  the breakfast was pad thai with a lot of shrimps and scrambled eggs a dish that in the past phi made for me when I had secured good marks or when he had won a big fight  . All the memories related to this dish surged through my mind then I heard  Nova say " It's ok to cry . I understand you can't erase your past memories and move on but you don't have to forget everything .Although what Porsche 5 years sago was wrong but you did not need to forget every good memories that you had with him na."

Both of us had our breakfast then I saw Phi Kim sleeping on another  bench I wanted to ask Nova what he was doing here but before I could ask him. P top came out of the operation  theater I suddenly rushed him and asked him "How is Melo phi." .He just smiled and said "The operation is successful but she needs to be under 24 hours observation to be out of danger these 24 hours are crucial .She is a fighter in the middle of operation once we had lost hope when her heart beat started to sink but her fighter soul made it easy to operate her. Take care of her ."