Lost and Pain (Part ii)

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PRESENT TIME : 

Kim pov :

I am in my room  clutching the photos of my angel and me taken during the time we spend together while seeing these pictures only tears are flowing through my eyes I felt like a complete failure  . I can't believe  angel 5 years ago  what a fool was I . I could have calm down and listen to you . But it's not  like that  I don't investigate this case but all things pointed at you and Macau  being involved . I don't even know where you are right now ?

Seeing  our  picture:


I said " Will you forgive me angel when we will meet each  other ? Angel can you please take me back in your life ?Angel do you know that without you my life is  as dark as night

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I said " Will you forgive me angel when we will meet each  other ? Angel can you please take me back in your life ?Angel do you know that without you my life is  as dark as night . All this mafia stuff has made a person full of darkness but you were always the spark of light in my life  you consume all the darkness in me and made me feel that I am loved . That I have a person who is my home . Baby you know I have trust issues due to being in the mafia  that  side has taken the best side of me  . Baby please forgive me  without having you by my side I feel as if I just a  killing machine , a ruthless , cold and selfish person with no warmth in my heart . Because baby you are my warm in  this whole world no one tame me but only you. Nobody can control me when I am angry but only you . If I have a heart You are my heartbeat. I will be ready to go on my knees to beg you to come will you come back ? Baby I have only you in this world who understands me without even me saying anything . I will surely find you Bambi I am willing to accept  to every condition of yours to have you back."

By saying this I went to the  room opposite  me  that was once Chay's room  but was now a storeroom this room still have a little fragrance of Chay . When I entered the room I opened the first drawer of the cupboard and found a opened giftbox when I opened the box I saw a  small baby shirt with "My Dad is going to be the  best father " written on it  along with it was a ultrasound  of chay that  showed our little baby as a small beanie. I was the happiest gift when  Chay gave me that gift  ." How will our baby be ? Is he/she like chay more or more like Kim ? will his little was even alive ?" all the questions were troubling him he didn't know anything this was making me  feel like a complete faliure . That was the point I broke down he clenched  the photo to my chest and began to cry my  heart out. I always wanted to have his small cute family that I can protect and take care of and now his once action ruined everything.

How  powerful time is one moment you have everything and the next second it is lost like that thing never happened and that remains is just regret.

That is the same condition of me once 5 years ago I have everything my family , my  heartbeat , my home , my moon  my everything. But now I have nothing  even though I am the world famous singer Wik and the  3rd most powerful mafia in Thailand but I feel as if I have nothing to hold onto my anchor that hold me to this life is gone . My everything is gone.

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