Dontrell called me at least 20 times and I ignored each one. My mental health was at stake. The situation was far too overwhelming for me to cope with.
"Jay you fucked up, you better go kiss that man's ass so he doesn't go and get you arrested for assault," I said sharply.
Jay just sat there, his stubborn fine ass didn't even flinch. I just watched as he continued to give a poker face.
"He has zero proof that I did anything and he doesn't know my PO." Jay said shrugging.
"That still doesn't make it okay. You have a reputation to maintain you can't just be losing your cool like that."
Jay sighed and sunk into his seat, he poked his lip out so cutely. He was the only man that could make me fold this so badly.
"Make a promise to me that you'll never lose your cool like that again. I want you to be husband material... you can't keep being a hothead." I said to him, still holding a cold compress in his hand. "You need to set a good example for this kids baby."
"Aight BB..." he said lovingly. "I promise."
"Good. Now let's enjoy our weekend alone... Tina is going to watch the kids. I told her we needed to regroup."
I was so happy to hear that my mom wanted to take the kids back to her place and keep them for the weekend. She figured that me and Jay had a lot of things to talk over... especially after his insane behavior on the boat.
"Is the kids see me?" Jay asked. "I can't let them see me lose my cool."
I shook my head no and smiled softly. "No baby... you're fine, they didn't see it."
Jay sighed in relief and continued to head home. The drive back was a little quiet. I knew that I needed to stay beside Jay and show him that my loyalty was with him so despite the circumstances I held onto him and let him lean into me.
"I just don't want you going back to jail baby... okay?" I said softly
Jay nodded...His body was still, and tears were slowly falling from his eyes and rolling down his cheek. My shirt was soiled from it. I could tell he felt bad about what he did.
"I don't know why I keep getting myself in so much bullshit because of how much I love you. I don't feel like being in love should be this destructive."
I sighed and sunk into my seat burying my face into his locks that smelled like coconut and shea butter. Wishing that we were holding on to one another for better reasons.
"You think our relationship is destructive?" I whispered to him because I didn't want Julius who was driving to hear us.
"Bey... the whole reason I was in jail was because of you. Dude kept stalking you & I stepped to him for making you uncomfortable." He expressed.
"If you would've never told me that this nigga was strapped I wouldn't have even had thought to be strapped while we were arguing." Jay said calmly. "I shot at that nigga because I thought he was going to shoot at me. I did not mean to kill that man."
"I'm sorry Jay. I really am... I didn't even realize how much of a trigger that was to you. I don't know what I was thinking but I never would've thought that would have been your reaction. You always tell me
About your past experiences being in the streets but I never seen you act on them."
I kissed Jays forehead and rubbed on his face gently, earning a faint smile from him.
"I don't want to fight...I just want us to heal. I want us to focus on the kids, I want you to
Focus on your business and music and I want you to focus on expanding cecred. Please tell me we can do that? Tell me we're going to work this out." He whispered causing tears to begin forming in my eyes.
