reflections

chapter 2

Camilla walked home with a heavy heart, her mind replaying the events of the day. The confrontation with Louise had only fueled her anxiety. When she reached her front door, her hands trembled as she opened it, anticipating what was to come.

The moment she stepped inside, her father, Mr. Verlice, was waiting in the living room, his face stern and unyielding. "Camilla, we need to talk."

Her mother, Mrs. Verlice, appeared from the kitchen, arms crossed, her eyes filled with disappointment. "Second place, Camilla? Do you know how humiliating this is for our family?"

"I tried my best, I swear." Camilla whispered, her voice barely audible.

"Your best isn't good enough!" Mr. Verlice's voice thundered, making her flinch. "We've invested so much in your education, and this is how you repay us? With mediocrity?"

Mrs. Verlice stepped closer, her hand striking Camilla's cheek with a sharp slap. "You will not embarrass us like this again."

The sting of the slap brought tears to Camilla's eyes, but she held them back, not wanting to give them the satisfaction. "I'm sorry. I'll do better next time."

"You better do." her father said coldly. "Now go to your room and study. You have no time to waste."

Camilla nodded, retreating to her room. She couldn't bear the weight of their expectations any longer. Her room, once a sanctuary, now felt like a prison. The walls seemed to close in on her, and she knew she had to get out.

Without a second thought, she grabbed her coat and fled the house, ignoring the calls from her parents. She ran aimlessly through the neighbor, her vision blurred by tears. She didn't care where she was going; she just needed to escape.

As she turned a corner, she collided with someone, stumbling back from the impact. It was Louise, the boy who had taken her place. He looked just as surprised to see her.

"Camilla?" He asked, his tone softer than before.

Louise's expression softened with concern. "Um...what happened earlier? Have you treated your wound from school? And what's with your cheek? You look like you've been through hell."

Camilla glared at him, wiping her tears with a rough swipe of her hand. "It's all your fault." She snapped. "If it wasn't for you, none of this would have happened."

Louise's eyes widened in surprise. "My fault? What are you talking about?"

"You took my first place!" Camilla's voice was sharp, filled with bitterness. "Because of you, my parents scolded me. Do you have any idea what it's like to go home and be treated like a failure because someone else took what was rightfully yours?"

Louise frowned, irritation creeping into his voice. "So, you're blaming me for working hard and doing well on an exam? That's ridiculous. Maybe the problem isn't me but the way your parents treat you."

"You don't understand." Camilla hissed. "They have expectations. They demand perfection. And because of you, I fell short."

"That's not my fault, Camilla." Louise retorted, his voice growing stern. "Your parents' unrealistic expectations and how they treat you are their problem, not mine. I worked hard for my grades just like you did."

"Easy for you to say," Camilla spat back. "You don't have to live with the constant pressure of being perfect. You probably have parents who treat you kindly, who don't care if you're in the bottom class."

Louise's face darkened, his irritation turning into anger. "You think my life is easy? You think I don't understand pressure? You're unbelievable."

Camilla scoffed. "Oh, please. If your parents were so demanding, you wouldn't be in the bottom class."

Louise's eyes flashed with frustration. "You don't know anything about my life. Just because I'm not at the top of the class doesn't mean I don't deal with my own crap. Maybe I choose not to care about this stupid race to the top because I have more important things to worry about."

Camilla stared at him, taken aback by his words, but her pride wouldn't let her back down. "Don't act like you know me or my life."

"And don't you dare act like you fucking know mine." Louise shot back, his voice icy. "Maybe instead of blaming me for your problems, you should take a good look at what's really going on in your own life."

Silence hung between them, heavy and oppressive. Camilla looked away, her anger and frustration boiling over but mingling with a sense of shame.

"Fine." She muttered, turning her back on him. "Just leave me alone."

Louise took a deep breath, trying to keep his irritation in check. "Alright, I don't know everything. But that doesn't mean I can't see that you're in trouble. Why can't you just accept a little bit of kindness?"

"Kindness?" Camilla scoffed, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "From you? The person who took my place? Fuck you."

Louise's face hardened, his patience finally snapping. "You know what, Camilla? Maybe you deserve to be alone if this is how you treat people trying to help you."

He turned to leave, but paused and looked back at her, his expression a mix of anger and disappointment. "I was just trying to be a decent human being. But clearly, that's wasted on you."

As Louise's footsteps faded into the distance, Camilla felt a deep emptiness settle within her. She wandered aimlessly for a few moments before sinking down onto the curb, burying her face in her hands. The wounds on her knuckles throbbed with every heartbeat, and the dull ache from her earlier head injury pulsed through her skull.

She lifted her head, glancing around at the quiet neighborhood. The dim streetlights cast long shadows, making everything seem more isolated and bleak. The cold, hard pavement beneath her felt like a reflection of her own desolate state. Tears streamed down her cheeks, mingling with the dirt and blood from her earlier encounters.

The fact that her parents hadn't even asked about her wounds hurt more than the physical pain. They were so consumed with their disappointment and anger that they didn't notice the blood on her knuckles or the bruise forming on her forehead. Their lack of concern cut deeper than any scolding or slap.

Sitting on the street, she felt the crushing weight of loneliness. For the first time in her life, Camilla felt truly lost. The weight of her parents' expectations, the sting of her failures, and the harsh words from Louise all collided within her, leaving her feeling utterly broken. As she sat there, alone and in pain, she ruffled her hair in stress, tugging at the strands as if trying to release the overwhelming pressure that seemed to crush her spirit.

Her hands trembled as they moved through her hair, the physical pain merging with the emotional turmoil inside her. She let out a muffled cry, her fingers gripping her hair tightly. As she sat there, she wondered how she could ever find a way out of the suffocating pressure that seemed to engulf her entire existence.

"Ah, I hate this damned life. Why can't I just be enough?" She muttered through gritted teeth, her voice breaking with frustration and despair. The words echoed in the empty street. She yanked harder at her hair, trying to make the physical pain drown out the emotional agony, but it was futile.

Camilla sat hunched on the curb, feeling utterly defeated. The isolation of the moment made her feel as if she was the only person in the world, and the silence was deafening. For the first time, she allowed herself to fully acknowledge the weight of her parents' expectations, the sting of her failures, and the bitter taste of her loneliness.

With a deep, shuddering breath, she released her grip on her hair and let her hands fall limply to her sides. She stared up at the sky, the stars blurred by her tears. "Why does it have to be like this?" She whispered, the question hanging in the cold night air, unanswered.