and i'd give up forever to touch you || Wilbur x Reader

a wreck you cannot look away from

the ice cream melts on your desk, having been almost an hour since the... incident, you've decided to call it.

hugging your knees to your chest, you cursed yourself out, eyes squeezing and soft whimpers leaving you. how could you ruin the one good thing in your life?

right after rosie interrupted absolute silence, you apologize to him in whispers, him nodding his head and assuring you that it was a spur of the moment thing.

something you hadn't meant to do. something that you wouldn't do with a sober mind.

and with the air in the dorm room so thick, it could've been fog, will excuses himself and jared waits with him outside for a cab, pays for it too.

what does this mean for the two of you? for the two of you and the cover, what are you going to do? for this beautiful dream had been so close and yet its been driven so far from reach. by your own selfish and rash actions. fuck, you should've waited till you calmed down. you should've held back, should've put a ravine between the two of you, should've tied your hands together. anything to make sure that wouldn't have happened. to make sure you didn't ruin your friendship. so you could keep a sliver of him to yourself, even if he would never look your way.

rosie comes back after tucking jared into the couch, leaning against the doorway as she watches as your body trembles. "oh babe," she hums, her mouth curving downwards as she approaches the bed.

hopping into the space next to you, she pulls you down and wraps you in her arms, ignoring the way your tears and snot soaked into her shirt, just patting your back, your arms. anyway she could give you comfort. and she was so confused. what had happened when she and jared went to get more liquor, what happened that upset you so?

"what happened?"

the very same question echoes in will's head. it numbs him from the inside, as if he was tuning out of his body and looking on from the outside. what is going on?

the look on your face, the feel of your lips and hands on him, they're seared into his brain, cursed to linger on the way, in the millisecond he had before disaster, you had smiled into his mouth.

like you wanted to be nowhere else, you had nowhere else to be. this was your final destination, in front of him, closer than anybody had ever been.

you were so close.

and was it so wrong of him to want it back? to want you back?

it is.

to him.

in the span of an hour he... the supposed love of his life had no issue with kissing the fuck out of somebody that was in her class. somebody that could've been him. and sure, he knows the chances of him being in her arms underneath her were substantial but he had to try-

but it is pointless, isn't it? when she just so easily did it to jared, and blatantly not him? she's made her choice. if his chances were even, how come he didn't come out of that dorm covered in rosie's touch? and instead, there's a thin layer of sweat covering his skin, the heat in that room was so contradicting, the emotions clashing inside of him, it made everything feel so much worse than it did.

the confusion, the euphoria, and then.. what had he felt when you kissed him?

he'd left that dorm, letting the cold take over him, letting himself be carried away by his legs, a cab, his thoughts. but your face never left his mind.

the way you kissed him so easily, the way you mourned and beat yourself up for it in the moments after.

the way you couldn't look at him as he left, the way he left without saying another word to you. and the way his body screamed at him to go back.