and i'd give up forever to touch you || Wilbur x Reader

choking on the toxins

the devastation that follows through the next few days is a little something you'd call well-deserved. painful with every biting second.

will sticks to his classwork, regular work, and practicing his music like a machine, waiting on any bit of info from you. and it occurs to him that you might never talk to him again, and how the thought of that makes him want to do something insanely stupid is unnerving.

any time he saw you on campus, you were with rosie and she would see him, always find him. and she'd make sure you didn't see him, by any means, leaving him standing there uselessly. he's tried to go back to their dorm, believe him, he's tried. but every time he knocks on the door, rosie is always there opening the door, unimpressed glare glued to her face. before she goes inside, she makes sure he drives away.

at some point, he realizes one thing.

this is the most rosie has ever looked him in the eyes, truly looked at him. he would've been so happy at the fact under different circumstances, alas things aren't different and he is so fucked right now.

let's recap, shall we?

one, he put cameras to spy on rosie in your room and didn't remove them until now, despite having many, many chances to do so.

two, he couldn't process that- that you kissed him so he left. (is that his fault though? it happened to him more so than saying he caused it. all he did was react, which granted, it wasn't a good reaction. that may have contributed to this whole mess.)

three, he's a shit friend. the only reason he agreed to anything was because he knew your roommate was rosie, in the end. and when you started to befriend him, being kind and nice with every gesture you made, it was out of reluctance and a brief realization you were the first, in a long time, to be genuinely nice.

at the moment, he's picking strings, holding his guitar with very little care. he knows he should put more care into the instrument, more love and a little bit of money, but what did that matter anyway? you made it clear, rosie's made it clear, he was to stay out of their life, out of your life.

that included the making of the iris cover.

which, by all means, fucking sucks.

was he a fool to get attached to you and your brilliant idea? attached to the very mention of playing with others, and when presented with the start of a group, you and quackity, he loses it?

absolutely.

he was more than aware of what he was doing, conscious of the fact that if, at any point, he was caught, placing or messing with the cameras, it would be over and he would be shunned, ostracised by the one group of people who made life worthwhile again.

then again, he doesn't know what's worse, if he had placed the cameras before or after making any real connections to you, if he'd waited a little longer and knew you better, would that make it worse?

he would say so.

though, in reality, never having installed the cameras to spy on a girl, and then misplacing it in the process, it would've been his best bet. because every route he thought about, if he'd held back, if he'd done it sooner, if he knew you better, it would've led him here regardless of the changes.

if he'd never done this to you, he would've never lost you. simple enough.

that's the truth of it. if he wasn't a fucking creep, he'd still be your friend. he'd be making it up with you, talking to you, probably figuring out the next step would've been. because he knows, he knows that you don't just kiss someone because you're drunk and happy.