After Last Night | Chilumi

Chapter 05: A brilliant light

"Beloved Lumine:

It's your boy, Childe.

Right now, I'm in front of the Kamisato residence, writing this letter in my car. I apologize if my handwriting is messy, you know I haven't needed to write by hand since we finished high school. I guess we deserve a quiet talk after what happened last night, but since you blocked me from everywhere, I had no choice but to convince your friend to deliver this envelope to you. I thought for a long time about going to see you at your job, but I know your mother doesn't like someone like me being there, so I opted for being more subtle.

I know I was wrong about what happened last night, you were upset for the right reasons and I admit it, and at that moment I was more concerned about making a good impression in front of the guests, so much so that I didn't stop to think that what I did might bother you. Not only by saying it out loud for everyone to hear, but also the fact that I didn't talk to you before making a decision. That was a terrible move on my part, I'm sorry.

But I think, after all, you were already aware that this trip wouldn't take place right now: Fatui Corp. is growing rapidly and now more than ever it needs me. I don't mean the stupid board of directors, but Tsaritsa. You know what Tsaritsa means to me... She's my second mother, my mentor. As much as I would like to step aside from my responsibilities, it would break my heart to see all the time she invested in me go to waste for such a foolish thing.

I just want you to understand, Lumine, that this job is my life, and I need you by my side to be able to continue. I urge you to understand, to support me. We've known each other since we were seven years old, babe, why is it so hard for you to lend me a hand at this moment in my life? This had never happened to us before, not even when I had to travel to Snezhnaya for two months to take care of my brother. Why now, Lumine?

You probably think I'm an idiot, but I want you to trust me: I love you. I've always loved you, from the time you defended me from bullies in elementary school to this very moment I'm writing. Rest assured that my heart beats only for you, but if we want this to work, I'll need you by my side and you'll need me by yours.

I'm sorry, I'm really bad at trying to express myself. You know this isn't my love language. Actually, writing is more your style, right? Could you write to me as soon as you receive my letter? Just send me a message or call me, I want to talk to you in person and clear things up. I want to know what you think.

With all my love, Childe."

A week after getting down on my knees in front of Ayaka and her brother to get that letter to Lumine, I started to regret it. It had been eight torturous days without any kind of response: no calls, no letters, not even a miserable message. My soul still held a tiny hope that my girl would respond in some way, but every day those pinches of optimism were crushed by a small voice in my head reminding me of undeniable facts: Lumine was incredibly stubborn, proud, and didn't respond easily or quickly to problems. She could stay silent for days if the situation called for it, she could yell at you, insult you, and even slap you if you behaved like an idiot, just like I did. But I didn't know this side of her: packing a suitcase and leaving your house after a fight, ignoring every message, call, letter, and carrier pigeon, every form of communication known to man. I didn't know the Lumine who showed intentions of disappearing from the earth, of no one finding her and of the whole world forgetting she exists.

Well, if I thought about it for longer, maybe I did know that side if her: she liked to miss work for days to avoid arguing with her mother, sometimes she rejected going out with her friends or ignored their messages to stay at our house painting or drawing. There were days when she simply didn't have the energy to deal with the outside world... but I had always been the exception to the rule. Maybe in this case, my name was out of the equation: I was back in the group of people she ignored and/or rejected in her vulnerable moments. Surely, I had stopped being that "pretty boy" she was always willing to see no matter how busy or absorbed she was in her own hobbies.