Cress

Chapter 61

  Kai's face was made up of confusion, like she'd spoken gibberish. His
wedding sash slipped out of his hands and drifted to the floor.
        When the silence  slipped toward  awkward, Cinder cleared her throat.
"And  in  case  you  weren't  sure,  I   was  being   sarcastic   before   about   all
that 'great'  stuff.  Not  that,  I  mean—I  know   you   have   your own   things
to worry  about,  so  you  don't  need   to ... I  don't ... I'm   fine,  really. It's  just
  been  a  rough  few  weeks with   the   whole"—she circle   her hands    wildly
though   the   air—"Peony-ball-Levana-wedding   thing. And   now   Dr.   Erland
  is dead  and  Scarlet is   gone and Thorne is blind  and Wolf ... I'm not
sure. He's so still these days and I'm really starting to worry about him.
But I've got it under control. I can do this. I'm—"
       "Stop. Please stop talking."
        She clamped her mouth shut.
      The silence dragged on.
      Cinder opened her mouth, but Kai held up his hand. She shut it again.
  Bit her lip.
       "You?" he finally said. 'You are Princess Selene?"
       Grimacing, she rubbed at her wrist. "Surprise?"
      "All this time?"
     She ducked her head,  suddenly  uncomfortable  at  the  way  he  was  looking
  at  her.  "Um,  yeah,  technically.  Dr.  Erland  figured it   out   first,   when   I
  was taken in for  the  cyborg  draft.  He  ran  my  DNA   and  ...  yeah.  But  he
decided  not  tell  me  until  I  was  locked  up  in prison,  which  complicated
a few things."
        Kai  guffawed,  but  not  in a  mean    way.   Inhaling    a   shaky   breath,
he rubbed  the  palms  of  his  hands   into   his   eyes. Then,  as  quickly  as  his
disbelief  had  come, the  comprehension came   faster.  "Oh,   stars. Levana
knows, doesn't she? That's  why  she   hates  you  so  much.  That's why she's
so determined to find you."
      "Yeah, she knows."
     "And it was you This whole time, it was you."
       "You're actually taking this better than I thought you would."
         He dragged both hand down his face. "No,  you   know,  it  almost  makes
  sense. Kind of." He scraped  his  gaze  over  her. "Although ... somehow,  I  always
   pictured the princess ... I   don't   know. In  a  dress."
            Cinder laughed.
            "And I always thought that when  I  found  her,  it would   be  so   easy. We
     would  just ... present   her   to the   world   and   announce  her   as  the   true
    queen,  and  Levana  would  crawl  away to   some   hole. I   never    imagined
  that Levana would already know. That she would be fighting it."
          She  quirked an eyebrow. "I'm  beginning  to  think   you   may   not  know
    you're fiancee very well."
           He scowled at  her. "That's it, Cinder.  No  more  secrets. I  don't  know  if  I
    can survive any  more   big  reveals   from  you, so  if  you  have  anything  else
    to tell me, out with it. Right now."
         Cinder rocked back on her heels, pondering.
         Cyborg. Lunar. Princess.
       No more secrets. No more lies.
        Well, just one.
        She thought she might be a tiny bit in love with him.
         But there was no way she could tell him that.
        "I can't cry," she whispered instead, hunching her shoulders.
         Kai  blinked,  twice,  then  scratched  his  ear  and  looked   away. "I  already
     knew that."
           "What? How?"
          "Your  guardian  may  have  said  something  about it. And  I ... I've  seen
      your medical records."
           "My—-" Her eyes widened. "You've seen ... you know...?"
           "You were a fugitive and I needed  to  know  more  about  you and  I ... I'm
    sorry."
           She squeezed her  eyes  shut.  She'd  seen  the  diagram  of   her cyborg
      implants. Every wire. Every synthetic organ.  Every manufactured   panel.
      Thinking about  it  made  her  feel  nauseous. She   couldn't    imagine    what
     someone else   would think   when they   saw   it. What   Kai   must    have
     thought.
           "No, it's all right," she said. "No more secrets."
           He took a step toward her. "Your eyes ... are they really?"
          "Synthetic," she murmured, when he couldn't say the word himself.
         "And that's why you can't cry?"
           She nodded, unable to look  up  at  him,  even  as  he  came  to stand   not
   two steps in front of her. "I  don't  need  the  tear   ducts  for  lubrication,  and
   they were getting  in  the  way  of ...  um." She  tapped   a  finger   against her
   temple. "I  have  a  retina scanner  and  display  in  my  eye. It's like  a really
  small netscreen,  so  there's  a  lot  of   wiring. Oh,  stay,  I   can't   believe   I'm
  telling you this." She buried her face in her hands.
         "It's kind  of brilliant," said Kai.
           She nearly choked on her own laugh.
           Kai reached for her wrists. "Can I see?"
          She   groaned,  knowing  that   if   she   had  ability   to   blush,   her   face
    would be as red as his wedding sash.
         Mortified and  resigned, she  let  him  pull  her  hands  away  and struggled
   to hold his gaze. He stared into her  eyes  like  he  could   see  through  to  her
   control panel, but then, after a moment, he shook his head.
         "You'd never even know."
         Trying not  to  fidget   Cinder  raised  her  eyes  to  the  ceiling, hating  herself
   little  bit for   what she  was  about   to   do.  But what did   it matter   now?
    He would never again be fooled into thinking she was human.
           "Watch the bottom fo my left Iris," she   whispered. She  turned   on   the
     retina  display,  pulling  up  a  newsfeed she'd been   watching   before   they
    got  to  New  Beijing—news from  the  African  Union. An  anchor  was  talking,
     but Cinder didn't bother to turn on the audio.
            Kai dipped his head. It took  a  moment, but then  his  lips  parted.
       "There's ... is that...?"
           "Newsfeed."
           "It's so small. Just a dot, really."
          "It looks a lot bigger  to  me."  A  tingle  traipsed  down  her  spine  at  how
     he  was  studying  her,  almost  in childish   awe,  and  how  he  was  so  close,
    and how he was still holding her wrists.
        He seemed to  realize  it  at  the  same  time. His expression changed suddenly,
      and  she knew  he wasn't   looking   at   the retina   display    anymore, or
     even her synthetic eyes. He was looking at her.
            Her heart pattered.
            Kai licked his lips. "I'm  sorry I  had  you  arrested.  But  I'm  glad  you're  all
     right."
          "Really? You don't hate me for ... shooting you?"
           His  lips  twitched  and  he glanced down.  Taking   her cyborg   hand   into
       both of  his,  he  lifted  it between  them, eyeing  the metal fingers.  "I  don't
     remember  that  medical  diagram  saying  anything  about   a  gun.  My  security
   team probably would have found that to be useful information."
         "I like to maintain an air of mystery."
         "I've noticed."
         She watched his thumb trace the length of her   fingers, finding it hard
      to breathe, impossible to move. "The hand is new,' she whispered.
           "It   appears   to  be  excellent  craftsmanship."    His    voice,   too,   had
     dropped.
          "It's plated with  one-hundred  percent  titanium."  She   didn't   know   why
    she said it. Hardly knew what she'd said at all.
          Bending his head, Kai pressed his  lips  to  her  knuckles.  The  plating  had
    no nerve endings, and  yet  the  touch  sent  a  tingle  of   electricity  along  her
    arm.
        "Cinder?"
        "Mm?"