fin de siècle ; mixte 1963

chapter 14 ; too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

"What the hell am I even gonna need Biology for," complained Jean, looking through the textbook with frustration, "when I have no intention of becoming a fucking doctor? What, do they think that learning about those shitty human cells is gonna convince me?"

As much as Gisele, Jean, Charles and Joseph hated studying and didn't care much for their grades, sometimes it was unavoidable. All of them, apart from Descamps, who got whisked away by his parents, were hanging out in Vergoux's room, trying to acquire at least some of the knowledge contained in that damned Biology textbook.

"Herman seems to think so," mumbled Gisele, more focused on the process of mitosis than whatever her brother had to say. Charles only hummed affirmatively, probably not having any idea what either of the twins just said.

Biology was one of the subjects that Gisele personally hated - as much as she found Latin, English and even French quite enjoyable, her mind simply couldn't hold onto any information concerning Maths, Biology or Chemistry. Her and Jean were alike in that aspect and they often helped their friends when it came to those subjects. Charles, on the other hand, was a literal prodigy when it came to Chemistry, which also came in handy lots of times. But the person that the three of them really needed this afternoon was Joseph - he may not seem like it, but compared to the three of them, the boy was a genius when it came to Maths and Biology.

Gisele put the book down with a sigh, rubbing her eyes in an attempt to get rid of the growing headache. She looked around Charles' room, flipping her eyes through the focused boys, then got up.

"I'm going to get coffee," she announced. "Do you want some?"

Getting the quiet murmurs of yes, please as a response was enough for Gisele, who, without much thought, left the room and headed downstairs to the kitchen.

Being friends for so many years resulted in the acquired sense of comfortability when it came to visiting one another, especially at Vergoux. All three of them knew his house by heart, at this point, and they were free to do anything without any stress - Charles' parents had told them so themselves, after all.

Gisele never said it to anyone, but she loved visiting that place not just because of her friend, but because of his family as well. Despite the fact that the house was big and wealthy, it never seemed empty. Maybe part of the reason was that there were so many kids around - Charles was the oldest of his siblings, after all, and his two little brothers and two little sisters never let anyone forget about themselves.

Maybe it was because Mrs Vergoux was always there, choosing, not being forced, to take care of her kids and her house instead of working alongside her husband in their company. Maybe it was the fact that Mr Vergoux, despite not being there for most of the day, always came back in the evenings, engaging in little conversations with Charles and his friends or playing silly games with his younger kids. Maybe it was all of that, combined, or maybe it was something entirely else.

Nonetheless, Gisele loved the atmosphere that the house held, mostly because it didn't feel like just a building; it felt like a real home, the one that she used to read stories about when she was little and the one she's always dreamed of having herself. As much as she loved her brother and enjoyed living with just him, away from their parents, she often wished that the two of them didn't have to pretend that it was enough. It would never be.

All children need their parents, all children need a sense of familiarity and comfort that came with the idea of having two people who would love them the most and who would always be there for them. And if for some reason the children are not able to have that, if for some reason the parents leave them to fend for themselves, the kids don't grow to be the same people they would be if they had a proper family. They are left with a gaping hole in their hearts, a void impossible to be filled with anything other than parental love - a void that they can live with, but one that will never truly disappear.