We'll Always Be Losers, No Matter What (IT Rewrite)

Stanley Uris Faces The Flute Lady & Protests

Warning: Homophobic & Transphobic remarks...

At The Jewish Synagogue

"Let's try again, Mister Uris," said Mister
Jureno. "Yes, sir," said Stanley. He flipped through the pages and took a deep breath, feeling both nervous and excited. "Begin," said Mister Jureno. "'As We Reach The End Of Our Childhood Adventure, We Embark On The Path To Adulthood, Where We Are Embraced By Increased Responsibilities And A Deeper Sense Of Maturity,'" Stanley said, silently out of nervousness. "Louder, Mister Uris," said Mister Jureno. "'Initially, There Is An Overwhelming Sense Of Elation, Akin To The Joy Of Winning A Prestigious Award. However, This Feeling Quickly Dissipates As A Flood Of Memories From Our Childhood Comes Rushing Back. We Are Forced To Confront The Lies We've Told, The Truths We've Avoided, The Risks We Were Too Fearful To Take, The Pain We've Caused Others, And The Mistakes We've Made.'" Stanley said, almost stuttering like Bill. "That's enough," said Mister Jureno, putting up a stop gesture with his hand. "What is it? Am I pronouncing something wrong?" Stanley asked. "Not at all, Mister Uris. The real issue is the tone you're using. You sound like you're reciting a script. Try sounding like you're the goddamned President & you're giving a speech, with confidence," said Mister Jureno. "Yes, sir," said Stanley, weakly. "You are dismissed," said Mister Jureno, walking to his office. Stanley sighed, not feeling prepared for tomorrow (in fact, he was afraid for tomorrow). 'Whatever, it's not like I'll be murdered if I flop,' Stanley thought. He rose from his chair and made his way over to Mister Jureno's to return The Tanakh, but Stanley was suddenly hit with a wave of nausea. Feeling almost jittery, he sprinted back to the office, hastily securing the door and propping it shut with a hefty chair. "Ignore the painting," Stanley muttered, shielding his eyes from the unsettling artwork. "What in the world?" Stanley exclaimed, utterly bewildered. It seemed as if the painting had winked at him. Perplexed, he gazed intently at the painting, seeking any sign of movement, but nothing occurred. Stanley nonchalantly set The Tanakh on Mister Jureno's desk, accidentally making noise in the process. When he tried to open the door, however, it remained firmly stuck. "What's going on?" Stanley wondered. He grabbed an umbrella from Mister Jureno's coat rack and used it to push against the door, but it refused to budge. As he turned back to glance at the painting, he noticed that it was slanted at an extreme angle, as if it were on the verge of falling. Stanley couldn't bear the sight of the crooked painting any longer and decided to straighten it. However, as soon as his hand touched the frame, the lights in the room began to flicker, the temperature dropped, and an eerie feeling crept over him. It was as if there was an unseen presence in the room, sending shivers down Stanley's spine. Suddenly, a little girl's whisper echoed in Stanley's ear: "You'll never be a man, now or ever. You'll forever be a disappointment to everyone." The quiet whisper jolted Stanley so violently that he stumbled backward, crashing onto Mister Jureno's desk, causing chaos and landing firmly on his ass. Stanley leapt to his feet and pounded on the door, his heart racing as he desperately hoped for a way out. As he accepted that the door was firmly shut, he whirled around to find the painting transformed before his eyes. This time, it was as if he could reach out and touch the vivid scene before him. Stanley found himself face to face with the mysterious lady from the painting. Her laughter echoed through the room as Stanley's eyes widened in terror. He frantically tried to break down the door, desperate to escape her eerie presence. Stanley was in a frenzy. "Why all worked up, Stanley? We're here just trying to put you out of your misery!" The lady shrieked. "No!" Stanley screamed, hurling the umbrella at the lady and using a nearby chair to smash through the door, which it did. "What is going on, Stanley Uris?" Stanley's father demanded. "There was... something," said Stanley, shivering and terrified. "What 'thing'?" Mister Uris asked. Stanley suddenly noticed that the lady had disappeared, alomgside the mess from when he fell. "Never mind," Stanley said, shaking his head and leaving the Synagogue with his Dad.

The Next Day

"Stanley, wake up, it's time," said Mister Uris. "Alright," mused Stanley. As he woke up, the warm sunlight spilled into the room. He leisurely got out of bed and reached for his perfectly pressed white tuxedo. The ensemble included a long silk scarf, carefully chosen to complement his outfit. After selecting the right cufflinks, he meticulously brushed his hair, ensuring that every strand fell into place. With expert precision, he applied a small amount of hair gel to keep his locks sleek and polished. "I'm ready," said Stanley, coming out of his room. "Alright then, let's get going," said Mister Uris.

When Stanley took the stand, he felt overwhelmed, but he found strength within himself. With deep breaths, he calmed his nerves and began reciting the powerful words from The Tanakh. "'Today is The Day That I, Stanley Uris, would start my transformation from Boy To Man. It begins with the thought of life. As a foolish child, I've always thought of the simple things in life, from my gratitude of food on the table to....'" Stanley said, trailing off on his words. In the Synagogue of Derry, everyone looked puzzled, urging Stan to continue. His father gestured for him to keep speaking, and his friends offered supportive nods and smiles. But then, he noticed Will, who looked completely different with short hair and a tuxedo. Despite the unexpected change, he recognized her and could tell from her gestures that she wanted him to continue or share his thoughts. Stan grabbed the microphone and started to speak his thoughts. "You know what? I have my own thoughts about this. The truth is that...I don't feel like an adult, and I know that I will never be admired or a winner because... I'm a Loser.. And I always fucking will be," said Stanley, feeling better, like a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders. As his words escaped his lips, a hush fell over the room, and the expressions on everyone's faces morphed into looks of disbelief. The use of profanity was met with disapproval from most individuals in the room. However, in an unexpected twist, Richie, with a look of conviction on his face, stood up from his seat and commenced a round of applause, enthusiastically exclaiming "Hell Yeah!" with an exuberant spirit. Then Will chimed in, grinning as she formed an 'L' with her fingers, teasingly suggesting it stood for 'Loser'. Bill and Eddie jumped in, creating an L shape with their fingers, joining Richie, Will, and Stan in the fun gesture. "Quiet! Stanley Uris, I hereby announce you and your... Supporters ban from The Derry Synagogue!" Mister Jureno shouted. "If we're going to be telling truths that we've kept for too long, then there is something that I have to say," admitted Will. "What would that be, young man?" Mister Uris asked. "I'm Transgender, I now use He/Them/Him/They, I renounce being a girly ho," said Will, with Pride in his voice. "I'm Puh-Pansexual," said Bill, joining hands with Will. "I'm ... Gay," mused Eddie, with fear, as he joined Bill and Will. "I'm Pansexual as well," said Stanley, with fearlessness. "I'm a cocksucker," said Richie, as a joke (but still joined his friends). "Is this a joke?!" The Parents (& Step-parent) of The Five shouted. "Does it look like we're laughing?" Stanley asked. "That's it! We will not accept Homos in this town! You five are now no longer welcomed in the town and will be moved out of town at the end of Summer!" Mister Jureno shrieked. "You can't do that! You're not the mayor!" Will shouted. "Act-actually, h-he is," clarified Bill. "Oh shit," mused Richie.

Author's Note: I am so (10x) sorry that I have not posted chapters in any of my FanFictions for so long, I'm currently in Mexico for a break from everything, so that's my pathetic excuse 🙄...