It was in the middle of the night when Brandt pulled up in front of my house. The house was dark and abandoned with only the automatic external lights on. It looked like a mausoleum in wood and glass. I preferred the disquiet silence in the car.
Brandt reached over, resting his warm hand on my forearm,
"Harper, are you awake?" His voice was rusty and the sound of his leather jacket and the movement filled the car with greater staying power.
"Yeah." I was pulled from my own thoughts and undid my safety belt.
Our eyes met in the semidarkness. I didn't know what I felt, much less what to say. I mumbled a 'bye' and exited the car. Behind me I heard Brandt shift gears and pull away. If I turned to look, I would only see his red rearview lights disappear down the driveway.
I pushed in my code in the electronic lock and entered the house that was my home.
Sleep didn't come, even though I was exhausted to the point where my eyes were dry, red, and achy. Thoughts came instead like thundershowers. Events from the last days. Feelings. Questions. Frustrations. No answers. No epiphanies. No realizations.
When the alarm on my phone rang, I went through the movements of getting ready for school and waiting a couple of minutes for the school bus in front of the driveway. It came to a stop with shrieking brakes that grated in my head. I sat down next to Penny, who always sat about halfway down. Her short stature almost hiding her.
"Did you finish the biology assignment?" I shook my head.
"Are you okay?" She asked a couple of minutes later. I shook my head again and gave her a weak smile.
"Not right now, but I will be." Penny pulled her arm through mine as we got off the bus and walked with every one else towards the doors of academic achievement.
"Is it the guy, you mentioned?" She asked in an almost whisper. I nodded, knowing Penny wouldn't ask anymore questions than I was willing to answer. She was very perceptive in that way. Maybe that was her human superpower.
"I'm here, if you need me," she merely stated as we entered the school and got on with the school day.
I was a floppy cutout version of myself. I was there, but two-dimensional. I was lucky to have Penny at my side. She was supportive and protective. She helped me through the school day, even making sure I had some lunch. She made sure I was on the school bus at the end of the day and that I got off at the right stop. Going through the motions was the only way forward.
———
I used to be content with my life. I knew I wasn't the life of the party, but I was okay. I went to school, spoke to Andrea and Penny, drew, and that was enough. After the last days, the sum the individual parts of my life weren't enough anymore. I wanted more. And yet I didn't want to open the door to all the 'more' I wanted. It would come flooding in if I did.
The plate on the table in front of me held the remnants of the pasta dish, I had made myself for dinner. I carried it to the sink for a rinse before loading the plate and utensils in the dishwasher.
"I'm home," I heard from the front door. It was my mother, back from New York. She came to the kitchen, pausing at the door,
"Oh, hello Harper." She sounded surprised that I was there. I greeted her, as she pulled a bottle of fizzy mineral water from the fridge and released the pressure inside.
"Did you have a nice trip?" I asked. I knew my mother well enough to know she wouldn't ask me about my weekend.
"You know, most of it was work with meetings. But Saturday night, I went to dinner with acquaintances at this forward Japanese inspired restaurant. It was really fancy and exquisite." My mother drew a breath to continue, but before she could, I said,
"Is it possible for me to get a car? It would make it easier for me to get around." I don't know where the request came from. I hadn't thought about it before, but now that my request hung in the air, I realized that I really wanted a car. I wanted the freedom to move that came with a car. I had had my license for a couple of years, never really driving anywhere.
My mother considered the question. I remembered the yellow house we lived in. It was tiny, but to my mother's benefit, she had worked hard to afford the house we lived in now and financial comfort. I never lacked anything.
"I don't see why not. I'll get my assistant to figure something out for you." My mother smiled. This was a high point in her mothering. I had asked for something, and she could provide it or get someone else to provide it for me. "It's good to be home," she said and left the kitchen.
We didn't talk much, my mother and I, but this was a good conversation for us. We lived parallel lives bound by our shared genetics and the house we called home. I knew now, that I was empowered and she most likely wasn't. I knew that we had once been a happy, ordinary family before my father left. I think I better understood her loss when my father left. She had to pick herself up and she had me to think of.
Had she felt the same two-dimensional feeling that I felt now? Perhaps she had gone through the motions of each day until she started to feel meaning again. This dull lethargy I felt wasn't going to pass on its own. I realized that with my back to the dishwasher and listening to my mother unpack her bags in to laundry room. It was only my own actions that would carry me through.
YOU ARE READING
Crossfire - a sizzling slow burn with supernatural powers
Teen Fiction"I... I didn't see anything." I tried, not knowing where to look. I was curious enough to take glances at him. His dark hair was flopped into his face to obscure his chiseled jaw. He laughed out loud. "What exactly didn't you see, Harper?" He said...
