Getting home

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I needed to get home. I walked along the road until it connected with the larger road. I had no idea where I was or which way was the closest to get help. I chose the direction away from Galvan's compound. Every time I could hear a car, I jumped away from the roadside, afraid that whoever was driving intended to do me harm or take me back to the smokers.

Ahead of me, a sign announced that I was entering Colter, population 3.415 (2022). There were more cars, homes, and businesses along the road, and Colter was a 45 minute drive from my house. It appeared normal. A mom was driving her kids. The windows were rolled down, and I heard their chatter as the car passed. A white haired woman was walking her dog at the side of the road. She glanced at me and pulled her dog along. I looked down at my clothes. I was dirty, sullied with soot. I was the odd one out here.

The gas station was not a part of a prominent chain. It was the kind without any fancy signage other than the neon lighted beer name in the window. I scouted it for a while. I didn't want to get caught, because a smoker saw me. Business at the gas station was light.

I had been bruised up more when I met Neil Armstrong in the dome and when I fought Juanito at the party, but loosing my freedom shook me more. My thoughts rushed through my head now with scenarios and worries, each one more devastating than the last. What if the smokers had discovered my power? What if they knew that Brandt wasn't just someone I met at the party, but my boyfriend? What if Perez hadn't shown me mercy and helped me escape? What if I had done something stupid like escaping the dormitory and had met the fence? This was not the time to cry. I needed to get home. I took a deep breath and decided to enter the shop.

Behind the counter was a young guy with one airpod in his ear, casually mouthing the lyrics to a rap song with his full attention on his phone's screen.

"Excuse me, can I borrow a phone?" I asked as I stood and rested my hands on the counter to stop them from shaking.

"No can do," he answered. He looked at me and was surprised to see the dirty face in front of him. He pulled out the airpod and stopped the music on his phone.

"Here, you can borrow mine."

He held out his phone and I murmured a thank you.

With the phone in hand, I contemplated whom I should call. Brandt. However, I didn't know if he was on assignment. Levina. I entered her number and heard the phone ring on the other end. She was professional and curt. She could be at the gas station in Colter in about an hour.

I handed the phone back to the guy behind the counter and left the store. Outside, I sat down on the curb and hugged my knees.

"Hey." I startled, because I hadn't noticed the guy behind me. He was holding the door open and handed me a bottle of water, "thought you could be thirsty." I thanked him and he disappeared into the store again. I hadn't realized, but he was right. The cool water was refreshing and helped me sit up a little straighter.

When Levina arrived and came to an abrupt halt right in front of me, I felt a semblance of normalcy. I joined her in her car, and she sped off in a cloud of dust.

"Did you have to do that?" She commented with a worried frown.

"The hood over my eyes and the zip ties were compelling," I said incredulously. Was Levina seriously blaming me for being taken?

"Brandt is going to kill me, when he hears about this." There was the truth. She was afraid, she would get blamed.

"You couldn't do anything. You weren't even there." Levina snapped her head and looked at me. That was what Brandt would blame her for. She had promised to keep an eye on me, and then this happened.

"I don't blame you," I said. Levina gave me a half smile.

"Is Brandt still on assignment?" I asked. Levina nodded.

"Good," I stared and realized that I meant it. I needed a moment for myself. "Can you just take me home?"

Levina didn't attempt to make polite conversation. We drove in a pleasant silence, that was only interrupted by the engine's purring. We weren't friends, Levina and I, but she came, when I called without hesitation.

"Thank you, Levina," I said to the side of her face, as she was looking straight ahead.

"For what?"

"For coming." We may not be friends, but we had an understanding. Levina didn't answer. She gave me that understated upward nod that both she and Brandt mastered.

She dropped me off outside my house.

I stood still for a moment just inside the door and listened. My mom wasn't home. It was afternoon during the week, so she was at work in all likelihood. My clothes reeked of smoke. I ended up grabbing a garbage bag from the kitchen, and as I undressed in my bathroom, I curled the sweatshirt, yoga pants, and underwear up and into the bag.

The shower was life altering. I was home. I survived. This was complete deja vu from coming back after my meeting with Neil Armstrong in the dome or after the fight at the party. This was a part of my new normal. Something bad happened and someone would drive me home. I would take a shower that washed off the ick and find my footing again. I guess even empowered life held its own routine moments. I would get over it. I would be with Brandt, feel his nearness, or listen to his wise advice, and that something bad would disappear in the past. I missed him. I allowed myself to miss him.

Dressed again in my own clothes, I tied the bag and went out to the garbage can to throw it out. I closed the lid and turned to go back in, when I heard another car pull up.

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