How Do You Feel? - Izaya Fanfiction

Voicemail

Yesterday was a bad day, I'd probably never hear from that physco or the secretary ever again, after all they live on the other side of town and I'm not gonna get the job.

I sipped at my mocha latte and glanced out the of the window of my favorite café. I loved this café because it had tables for one, meaning nobody could join me and also the way the sunlight hit the glass, you couldn't see in very well. I was free to stare and wonder at the passing pedestrians without embarrassing myself.

Two young women entered the shop, giggling. They sat at one of nearby tables and I turned away trying to pretend they weren't there but I couldn't help but listen to their obnoxiously loud conversation. One of them were ranting,
"I was the first one to be interviewed and I absolutely nailed it, usually employers can't resist my qualifications but still he phones me up this morning and apparently there was someone better than me. I didn't want that shitty personal assistant thing anyway, I can do way better."
I frowned and glanced over, her friend was uniformly nodding along without particular interest.

I wondered if that had been the same interview as mine. Couldn't be sure in a city the size of this one...

I finished my super good mocha and wondered back to my apartment. It was small and damp but the best I could do with the funds I had left from the orphanage. I had a job before moving to the city, but my rent there was more expensive than the minimum wage, forcing me to move here. I thought maybe I could make some friends as well, although I'm not too good at that. I prefer to chat online where no one knows who you are and it won't matter if they judge you.

As I closed the door I took a double take at the phone in the corridor, I had a voice mail. I never got voice mail. I picked up the phone and dialed the number to listen to it and was shocked to hear it was Mr. Orihara. My lips quavered as I listened to his voice,
"Miss Ashino, congratulations you've got the job. You start on Monday, 8am sharp, same place. I look forward to seeing you."
I gaped and listened to the 'end of voicemail message'. I couldn't believe it. That was the worst interview in the history of forever!! The other woman had qualifications for god's sake!
A smile crept up onto my face, this was great news! Surely I wouldn't be working for the interviewer, he was probably just the manager of a higher person.

--- Monday morning ---
I knocked on the door, again holding my breath. It was becoming a habit. The door opened, this time not startling me quite so much but I was still shocked to see my interviewer, who had ditched the glasses and his hair wasn't slicked back with gel. Instead it hung losely in natural spikes and I mentally gasped again at his beauty. I could really see his eyes now, they were a mysterious rusty brown and reminded me of autumn leaves.

I entered and was lead to his desk once again. He didn't type away this time but instead was fixated on me. It made me nervous. He smiled for the first time and I was surprised that he could look any better than he already was. I felt a very slight warmth on my cheeks. Deep breaths.

He read from a piece of paper all my general tasks that had already been specified in the job application and I occasionally nodded. He looked back up to me with a gentle smile,
"Does that sound right?"
I looked at my hands... "Yes." He continued to type away and I piped up the courage to ask,
"Ecxuse me Mr.Orihara but..."
He interrupted me with "Call me Izaya." I blushed slightly at the thought of calling someone by their first name so quickly.
"Izaya... Er, who am I personally assisting?" His eyebrows raised slightly before he replied slowly,
"Me... Is that a problem Miss Ashino?"
Shit. "N-no! Not at all!" I quickly backtracked "I was just wondering..."
He smiled and waved it off,
"Could you make me pancakes for breakfast please?" I stared for a second, my mouth wide open. The creepy formal man from yesterday had transformed into a casual and comfortable person to be around.
"Yes... Of course" I said quietly and set off to find the kitchen.

Once I found the beautiful, unused kitchen, I cracked my knuckles. No one around, and cooking was one thing I could do. I used to cook most of the meals at the orphanage and I very rarely got any complaints. I threw everything together as if I had done it a million times before and soon I found myself handing him a plate of steaming hot pancakes with a proud smile on my face.

He gave an appreciative smile and took a bite,
"Mm, ish real guhd"
Satisfied that he was happy with my cooking, I went and cleaned up the kitchen before returning to clear his plate away. Just as I was leaving he called me and I turned around to listen. He had a strange way of giving a stare that made it seem like he knew what he wanted and that he would get it.
"It's alright if I just call you Kazu right?" I hadn't heard anyone call me by that name in a long time. I reminded myself that I'm trying to start fresh and that he doesn't want to be calling Miss Ashino all the time...
"Yes, it's fine."
"Kazu, do you know how to file?"
"I'm afraid not" I gulped.
"That's quite alright, clean up then come here and I'll teach you."
"Thank you" I left quickly and spent as long as possible cleaning up. That was close. I feel like I could screw up with he littlest thing.

When I got back he lead me to a massive bookshelf, filled with all manners of books and files and showed me how it all worked. He handed me some files which had names of his clients written on the side and he watched me as I placed them. Out of the blue be asked,
"What's it like to be raped, Kazu?"
I froze. How did he know. My frozen outstretched arm started to shake. I pushed the file into it's slot and looked at my feet. Tears formed and I shook as memories rushed into my head. The physco creep is back. I felt very unsafe but yet I couldn't move.
I look at him, tears streaming down my face already and I began to hyperventilate.
"Are you aware of my occupation, Kazu?" I managed to shake my head through the hysterical tears. He just coldly stared at me.
"I'm an information broker." Explains how he knows everything. I slowed my breathing. He won't rape me. He won't rape me.
"Why did you hire me?" I pleaded.
"Because you're an emotional wreck and I find that amusing." What is wrong with this man?! I muttered "excuse me" and ran to find a bathroom. I wiped away my tears and neatened my makeup a little. Be strong. You need this job, ignore the terrible person you've been paired with.

I left the bathroom and found myself slammed against a wall, the only thing I could see was his face. I leant back on the wall to try and distance myself but I was caged in by his arms.
"How did it feel?" He asked again. He made no attempt to hurt me and didn't look like he would so I continued, I knew I didn't have to but I did.
"It felt like dying would've been better."
He removed his arms and took a step back.
"Thank you Kazu, I know I can trust you now." I frowned in confusion as I watched him return to his desk. He sat in his chair and spun to look out of the oversized window.
"You can go home now if you want, I'll give you a full days pay."
I nodded and left without another word. He was just testing me, it's all over now for sure, I'm sure he just wanted honesty. For some reason it was comforting to finally reveal my biggest secrets to a stranger. I had never felt more understood.

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