How Do You Feel? - Izaya Fanfiction

Mind Games

Once I had returned to my apartment I gave my new job a good long reconsider. Once I worked up the money I need to survive I could find another job, one that doesn't involve creepy information brokers with trust issues.

I flopped onto the couch and switched on the old, dusty TV that my previous neighbor had given away. She was a classic little old lady and found that she had no use for the thing after her husband died. I wondered if I would ever be able to grow old with someone... Until death did us part.

I flipped it over to the news, because I felt the city had been awfully quiet recently but I knew I had just missed all of the action. The first story was about the famous 'strongest man in the city' Shizou Heiwajima. He had caused serious damage to an entire row of cars in one of his rages. Fortunately I had only encountered him once, and it was fair to say it was the most terrifying minute of my life. He threw a trash can over my head once and I wouldn't have dared to stay another second to watch what happened next.

The second story was about some plane crash and then the third was a murder. A picture of a broad shouldered man, one of his arms riddled with tattoos and a shaved head flashed up on the screen. I dropped my drink and let it soak into the floorboards. My throat tightened and it felt like I couldn't breath. It was my rapist. I felt faint. He had been murdered. I could do nothing but gape at the screen but it felt like I were drowning even though I was breathing heavily. This could have something to do with Izaya.

He seemed to know everything about me, even the things never even physically recorded. It was like he had been by my side my entire life without my knowing. I knew now that he was no normal investigator or information researcher. It's true what they say about there being a very fine line between genius and madness, and he had all sorts of tricks up his sleeve. I wasn't sure what to make of it. After listening to the weather report, I decided to lay low and pretend I never saw the news. If people find out I have relations to this guy I could be in serious trouble. 

With a troubled mind, I tried to get some sleep (or death practice as I like to call it) but my brain was having none of it. Even if the murder wasn't related to Izaya, and it was all some crazy coincidence, I wondered if I would be suspected by 'them' for assassination..? There were so many unanswered questions it gave me a headache. 

The next morning I made my way to work, physically shaking from fatigue and large coffee intake. I found myself walking as slow as possible, subconsciously trying to avoid meeting the maniac. It would be a miracle if he didn't pick up on my nervous breakdown. 

I entered the apartment and without a word or emotion he gave me a list of general chores, a few were cleaning, a few were sorting ect. Everything seemed... normal, except for me. I began to relax and made the most of the silence to get on with the list, it took the whole thing off my mind. After vacuuming the main room, the list stated I also dust, which was rather normal but what I thought was strange was that all the tasks were focused around the main room. Where Izaya's office was, where he could see me. Trust issues maybe? Maybe he's watching me... I started to feel paranoid and glanced over at him. He's not looking. A few minutes later I couldn't help but look back again, he sitll wasn't looking.

"Kazu?" My heart leapt into my mouth. He's noticed for sure!! I gulp and turn to him,

"Y-yes?" I stuttered, shit.

"Can you make me a coffee please?" I mentally sighed with relief and rush off but before I leave the room he stops me,

"Oh, by the way why did you keep glancing at me?" I froze. He smiled. Bastard. He continued, "Just because I'm not looking right at you doesn't mean I can't see you!" He chirped happily. I muttered a sorry and went to make his damn coffee. Surely he knows, he must be playing with me. I shook my head and slapped my cheeks before leaving the kitchen, get it together Kazu.

I went to place the coffee on his desk, but the heavy mug apparently was too much for my shaky hands and I slammed it down accidentally, splashing some of the coffee onto the desk and myself. I winced with pain and mentally screamed in embarrassment. He looked at me with a straight expression. 

"Are you okay?" He asked, I told myself he was just talking about the burn.

"Yeah, sorry I'll clean this mess up." He shook his head,

"No, you were shaking before. Anyway go to the bathroom first to sort out the burn or else it'll be worse later." I nodded and walked off, locking the bathroom door behind me and running my hand under the tap. I just feel more and more sure that he knows I'm not okay and is trying to give subtle hints, to wind me up. I spent a long time just staring at my reflection in the mirror, trying to calm down before there was a knock on the door.

"Kazu, did you find the bandages?" 

"Yeah" I called back.

"Okay so are you gonna come out so I can see you?"

"Why do you need to see me?" I frowned.

"You've been in there a long time, Kazu." He sounded creepy...

I hesitated, unsure of how to reply... "I'll be out in a minute." No reply. I took a few deep breaths and put on the bandage before leaving. I opened the door to see him less than a meter away, he grabbed my arm and brought my hand up between our faces and looked at my shaking fingers so I clenched my fist to hide it. His gaze locked onto mine once again,

"What's wrong?" A demand, open to interpretation.

I grimaced, "It's none of your business."

"Oh but it is." He still held my wrist firmly. What's that supposed to mean?

"How so?" He frowned.

"Because you work for me and if you arn't working up to standards then I need to take action."

"I didn't sleep well." He released my arm and smiled,

"All that fuss over some lost sleep! Must have been important haha" He practically skipped back to his desk, and the rest of the day he left me alone. It was painfully tense.

Vote and comment your favourite band, I'm interested :P