Lighted Fools (Baby Dearest Reworked)

Chapter Three

"I came as fast as I could," Kane sighed, his gaze stuck on April for a short moment, recognition for the woman he once knew filling his eyes before sorrow did. And then, his eyes hit me like a car going 120 miles an hour. His eyes raked over me slowly as he took in the differences of twelve year old me to present me. He hadn't seen my brother and I in what felt like an eternity to me and I wondered if it felt like an eternity to him also.

I didn't judge him staring, as I did look completely different now, obviously. But I wasn't much to take in as I wore my dark blue bell bottoms and a matching crop top with only a cream colored cardigan to warm me up in the cold hospital. I had just realized how cold it truly was and how badly I wanted to leave. Only I didn't want to go with Kane, and honestly, I didn't want to go with Maybelle at this point either. I just wanted this to all be over.

He quickly diverted his eyes back over to April who laid unconscious in her bed. Tubes on tubes worked their magic around her to keep her alive, once again making her look inhuman. Then he looked to Josh. I guess Kane had sensed my cold demeanor towards him, as his greetings to my brother were much more than a long stare. I could see Josh's eagerness to go to Kane and take the big bear hug that he had to offer, which is exactly what he did. I didn't blame him. I knew there was a part of me, a twelve year old me who wanted that too. But right then? I hated him.

Kane embraced my brother in a side hug as he continued to look at my mother, not speaking to anyone in general.  "How is she so far," he asked timidly. Kane wasn't necessarily a timid man but he wasn't assertive either. He wasn't plain, that's far from what I was saying, but nothing much of Kane's mannerisms stood out. He was just right for him, irritatingly. Maybelle took the burden of answering the question for me, who would typically answer for April when she couldn't, or frankly wouldn't even when capable.

"They don't see her waking up anytime soon and right now they can't be sure she'll wake up at all. Major brain trauma and trauma to other organs from her," Maybelle paused, flinching before she continued. "Her habits. The damage is already done so now we just wait." Like hell I'd wait on April and her body to decide what it was going to do. She was of no concern to me, I was just ready for this day to be over. I had enough surprises for a lifetime. I needed time to myself and I'm sure Josh did too.

Maybelle and Kane shared a knowing glance that most likely came from their conversation I'd never hear, looked to me and my brother, and back to each other once more. However, my gaze never truly left Kane, not for long at least. I knew he felt my harsh and cold glare taking him in for the first time in forever. He was older, not in his twenties anymore. If my math was correct, I was sure he was thirty-one. Kane had gotten bigger, not taller, just more muscular which I found odd being that he was always a carpenter which kept him cut if I remembered correctly. He was just harder than he was the last time I saw him at twenty-five. Any boyishness I didn't think was possible to have he surely did have at that age because looking at him now, it was all gone. Something that didn't exist can't disappear.

The second his gaze met mine, I let my eyes drop. Looking at him would break the dam holding back memories of an amazing man that were begging to escape, to seep through the cracks, and I wouldn't let them. I had a guard up around him but there was no blaming me for that. Who wouldn't have one, given the circumstances?

Seeing my eyes dash from him, he decided to turn back to Maybelle, sharing that stupid knowing stare they had. I wanted to know too. I hated not knowing. "Yeah, yeah," he sighed. Giving Josh's arm a final squeeze, he removed his arm from his shoulders and rubbed his hands against his suit pants. It was the first time I had taken notice of that. It was a stark difference from his dad jeans and slew of flannels he rotated out with his white shirts underneath. This wasn't the all-american dad I expected to see after six years, the person I believed he was destined to become. "I remember these kids, my pride and joy," he smiled at us. This was awkward.