Lighted Fools (Baby Dearest Reworked)

Chapter Thirteen

I had originally woken at 10 am, a half drank water bottle on my bedside table that I didn't remember drinking with a note scratched in Kane's handwriting. 'For your cottonmouth.' There was laughter and energetic conversation coming from the kitchen between Kane and Josh which made me sleepily smile but I truly didn't want to talk to Kane.

I now had this giddy feeling wash over me every time I thought about him now and that was the last thing I wanted. And after the night before, I wasn't in the mood to gauge his reaction to my little show on the couch. I knew I hadn't read that day in the kitchen wrong, but that didn't mean respond with even more prolonged and inappropriate contact. And what if I had read it wrong, or what if he regretted it and had changed his mind by now? He seemed to have not taken the moment too seriously, having called me out of my room earlier with his credit card in hand, sending me out to fill up both of the gas tanks in our cars. Choosing to fill up mine first, on my run back to the gas station in Kane's truck, I dropped Josh off at a friend's house, keeping the fact that I let him ride in the bed between us.

I actually hadn't paid for a single thing since living here. Even after I went out with Anthony, I found forty dollars on top of my dresser the next morning. I definitely hadn't spent forty dollars that night and I still had child support money from my father hitting my account, which Kane knew about. That would end soon though. Sure, I had savings but I didn't want to dip into those and I didn't want to ask Kane for money either. It was interesting how I went from keeping the house afloat with Aprilto simply living life as carefree as possible with Kane.

It was 3:48 in the evening by the time I had come home in his truck with news that the A/C unit had gone out and the men would be here after hours to fix it. Now, Kane had left to go buy groceries and I took the opportunity to escape and explore the backyard. If I was going to be subjected to endless heat, I'd do it outside where I ended up on the plush grass staring up at the cloudless sky. The breeze was light back here, the trees enveloping the yard and keeping it cool from the blistering heat. The grass was cool to the touch, soft and damp. Kane had the prettiest grass, some secret about putting epsom salt in his yard. He had done the same with our house but no one kept up with it after he left. Seasons passed and our yard slowly became like everyone else's.

I felt like I was floating, as if the breeze pulled me with it even though I stayed in my spot on the grass. It was so calming in a way, the wind didn't just brush over me but instead went through me as if I was hollow. After feeling moody and having my spirit dragged down all day, a moment of peace in a little oasis was exactly what I needed. I wasn't anxious or agitated in this moment for once in my life, just hungry. I had no idea how long I had been in the yard, all I knew was that the world wasn't a vibrant blue anymore, it was becoming warm toned and yellow. The sun was setting and all I had done all day was think about Kane Everett Jackson.

My body felt too heavy to lift up on my own, I simply couldn't get up from the grass. My eyelids were heavy, my arms and legs felt bolted down to the ground, and my head felt so heavy it must've been swollen. For someone who had slept all day already, I was still tired. However, I called to attention at the sound of an engine rumbling and coming to a stop at the front of the house. Kane must've been home. Normally I would've jumped up from wherever I was and helped put up the groceries, openly judging whatever brand he chose to get for a product. Josh and Kane would be fine putting the groceries up without me. I just needed a moment to be.

A moment to not be a girl soon going off to college, to not be a girl whose father couldn't bear to choose her, to not be a girl attracted to a man decades older than her, and a moment to not be April Sancton's daughter. My father was a different story, he chose greatness over me and maybe he had good intentions to come back for us once he had his success and he had just forgotten along the way. But my mother... she chose something that would slowly kill herself over us. She actively did not choose me with every sip of poison after we'd already been deemed not worthy enough by our father. A mother who is supposed to have an instinctive motherly nature lacks that and the ability to do right by her creations that are dependent upon her.