THE DESIGNER AND THE ARTIST

RESET

"Are you sure about that Chay?"

"Yes hia."

"But, you and Kim just got back together again. Have you told him about your plans?"

Porchay paused; his thoughts were starting to go all over the place. His Hia is pointing out some things here but he already decided to go back. To go back to his life; the life that he built during the hard times.

"Chay, just think about it one more time, okay."

"..."

"I love Kim, Hia but my life is waiting for me. I need to go back."

Yes, Porchay needs to go back to US because he cannot be an irresponsible CEO on his own company. He needs to go back; to go back to his responsibilities; to go back to the life that made him what he is now; to go back to the thing that he loves the most--- Designing.

"Okay." Porsche sighed. "But please tell Kim your plans Chay; I think it is better that way."

After that talk, Porsche left Porchay inside his room. He's already packing some of his stuffs. Porchay knew all along that this would happen. Actually, the only reason he returned to Thailand was to launch his brand. Meeting with Kimhan and reconciling their love wasn't a part of the plan.

But it eventually happened and Porchay was happy; no, happy is an understatement. Porchay is thankful; his heart swells with joy when after all these years, he found out that Kimhan never stopped loving him; that his heart never stopped beating for Porchay.

When he found out that Kimhan still loves him, guilt crept in; he stopped loving him when he had his heart broken; he made his heart stop beating for Kimhan that he made a cage and a wall just to protect it; to protect it from hurtful things; from hurtful memories.

And if Kimhan knew Porchay deliberately made himself stopped loving him, would he be disappointed at Porchay? Or would Kimhan understand where Porchay was coming from?

Porchay was lost in thoughts; drowned in all this unwanted what ifs popping up in his mind. His hands weren't moving; he stopped packing his clothes and just stared blankly at the luggage lying on his bed.

Is this what he wanted?

Does he really want to leave Kimhan again?

Will it hurt if he left Kimhan again?

"Angel? What's this?"

And it was as if his clothes were on fire; immediately letting it go and throwing it away from him when he heard Kimhan's voice.

"P'Kim..."

"Where are you going? You're leaving me?"

Kimhan's voice started to tremble. His angel will leave him? Again? But why? Why is Porchay leaving him again? Did he do something wrong; something bad? Has Porchay doesn't love him anymore?

But, they were okay already. So, why?

"P'Kim, I-I..."

"P'Chaaaaaaaaaay!!!"

But the cheerful voice on Sunshine faded when he saw his P'Chay packing his clothes. The kid was smart; he already read what is going on and the smile on his face disappeared.

"Where is P'Chay going?" the little boy said with teary eyes Kimhan could only watch Porchay go to his son to shush him.

"Hi little bean," he greeted Sunshine; trying hard to have a cheery voice just not to make the kid sad.

"Are you leaving Sunshine, P'Chay?" and the next question squeezed Porchay's heart. "Did Sunshine do something bad?"

Porchay doesn't know what to say; he only pulled Sunshine to him when the kid started crying; crying while saying that he doesn't want his P'Chay to leave him; crying while saying that he'll be a good boy so that his P'Chay will not leave him; crying while saying that he loves his P'Chay.

"Don't leave Sunshine please..."

Kimhan cannot watch his son crying that's why he left them alone in Porchay's room and went downstairs. This isn't what he expected to happen today. Kimhan was supposed to ask Porchay to go with them to the amusement park because Sunshine has been looking forward to go with his P'Chay and show him his favorite ride.

He can still hear Sunshine crying that's why he choses to go out of the house and just sit outside to get some fresh air. He took a deep breath and exhaled heavily; starting to stare blankly at the sky.

Will Porchay really leave him? If yes, then why? He couldn't imagine a life without him; he couldn't imagine it again being all lone. Seven years; seven years was enough for Kimhan to wait for Porchay; another one would literally make him go crazy. Well, just thinking about it now makes Kimhan's mind went all over the place, it is starting to hurt.

"Angel..." he whispered to himself as he ran his fingers through his hair; leaning his elbows in both legs. "Do you not love me anymore?"

--

Sunshine only calmed down from crying after an hour when he felt sleepy; Porchay immediately carried him and sang him some lullabies. He never meant to make Sunshine cry; it actually breaks Porchay's heart seeing the little boy cry.

And it is because of him.

"I'm so sorry baby. P'Chay made you cry." He said as he put down Sunshine on his bed.

He looked around his room. Porchay sees all his things scattered all over the place. It looks chaotic; it looks suffocating Porchay thinks he cannot breathe whenever he thinks of leaving the kid. Leaving Sunshine would surely break his little heart.

Sunshine is too young to have his heart broken.

"Chay..."

Porchay need not to turn around to tell if Kimhan is just behind him. He can already feel the older's body warmth against him; the way his breath brushing his ears and his heartbeat Porchay could almost hear it. He can almost feel Kimhan's whole existence through the way his voice sounds like; like its yearning.

"Please, Chay, don't leave me."

Just as Kimhan started hugging him, his tears started to fall like raindrops. Porchay felt him trembling as Kimhan caged him in arms. How can he leave if Kimhan's like this? How can Porchay have the courage to leave if Kimhan's heart is literally breaking in front of him? How can he leave if, for the first time, Kimhan is crying and repeating the words 'Don't leave me' and 'I'm sorry' over and over again?

Porchay turned around to face Kimhan and when he finally saw his face; those eyes that looks inevitably beautiful even crying; that lonely look on Kimhan's face Porchay don't want to see ever again; all his built-up courage to leave the country, crumbled down.

"I'm sorry P'Kim!"

He now also broke down to tears as he returned the hug.

"I thought I could leave you but I can't. I can't P'Kim!"

A/N:

I'm so sorry guys for this very late update. Honestly, I was already lost on how I should continue this one but thankfully, I was able to update now.