As soon as i got home, i tried to go to my room as silent as i could possibly go but no as always it just never works.
" honey? is that you Mathew? " my mom's voice cracked. oh no, what has happened this time. i threw my pack bag on the couch and headed to the dinning table.
My mom works as a bartender in "Alco-hole"
my mom doesn't make a lot of money out of it but she loves her job and makes the best out of it. She never made it to college because she basically forgot to ask the guy she was hooking up with " hello, were's your colorful condoms at? "
So now she's stuck in a gay bar serving people drinks all night. but as annoyed as i sound, she loves it there because that's were she found her ' soulmate ' and yes we're on the same page, my mom's gay. She met Lisa on their 20's at her first week at the bar. The way they both call it " Love of first " one martini please " "
Lisa saves everyone's asses in particular. She's one of the best lawyer in Washington State. She always seems angry when she's on court i guess all lawyers has to be that angry all the time. But when she's at home, she's the reason i'm not snorting cocaine at this particular time. She's the best step mom you could ever wish for. I was around two years of age when they started living together so pretty much she seem like a real mom to me.
As complicated as it sounds, it's not that hard having two moms in a household. People are just really pathetic and close minded.
" mom, is everything alright? "
they both gave me a ' make yourself comfortable young man ' staring contest
" you guys are freaking me out "
" Are you involve in Callie's suicide " my mom tried to say it the calmest way she could
" what? who's Callie? "
" Darling, don't you remember? You guys spent so much time when you guys were kids until you got rushed in the hospital for falling off her tree house "
" no.. noo "
i rushed to get my bag on the couch and head to my room as fast as i could. Why don't i remember falling off a god damn tree house oh my god.
" honey, please open the door " my mom kept slamming the door
" mom, please i wanna be alone " i cried
" baby, lets give him some time " I could hear Lisa trying to keep my mom calm. I could hear my mom sobs as they walk away from my room.
I could feel my lungs running out of air, my hands shivering, my mind losing it.
I opened the book
" I left this notebook just for you, only for you. It wasn't an accident, This notebook is for you Mathew "
I couldn't handle it and closed the notebook. There are alot of things i easily forget like one day i'm me and the next day I don't even recognize myself, I could go from that chill kid at school who doesn't give a flying fuck to losing my mind. There were years from my past that are completely blank, just plain white, and i would do anything to get a grip of myself and just know what that blank space has to do with that girl i couldn't even remember.
What i don't understand is why she would leave me hanging, why couldn't she just tell me herself? why did she have to end her life? what was wrong? what did i do wrong? what went wrong?
