Another Story: After Autumn (Attack on Titan AU)

Remember

His body had moved automatically, reflex kicking in.

Up ahead was a horde of titans, behind them was an army of fear-stricken soldiers. He was well aware of the heavy responsibility resting on his shoulders to lead his men in this war of survival. Failure was not an option.

"Advance!"

His sonorous order rang loud and clear amidst the din of chaos. The stomping of titan feet, clopping of horse hooves, and the war cries of the soldiers pooled into one disjointed cacophony. Trees blurred in his peripheral as his horse galloped through the field, undaunted even as his reigns guided it to what seemed like a glimpse of hell.

"Advance!"

He yelled, again and again, as if the very act extracted an invisible source of strength. Even if his soldiers shrank back, he couldn't allow himself to show weakness, to look away from their objective: retrieve Eren Yeager.

Then, to his side, he noticed her faltering.

It all happened swiftly.

He teared his eyes from the path before him to risk a glance, seeing her loosening her grip on her mare's reigns and her free hand clutching the side of her head.

That half second of distraction was enough.

A titan barreled out of the bush, effectively concealing itself until it was too late. It headed straight towards her with its maw wide open.

Only one thought prevailed in him: if he didn't move, he would lose her.

Then, his body moved automatically. His hand reached out, extended over to his side, shoving her off her horse.

He didn't realize his own actions until the titan tore through his arm with its sharp teeth, sinking deep into his flesh. Perhaps it was the adrenaline, but the pain wouldn't register fully until they returned to the walls.

A myriad of thoughts passed through him in an instant. He'd been aware—fully aware of just how short his lifespan would be ever since he joined this regiment, and ever since being promoted to commander, he felt the clock of his life tick louder than ever.

He knew, that this treacherous road he'd taken, full of twists and turns and thorns, would end abruptly and in dissatisfaction, no matter what.

So he'd been prepared, always had been.

'So why?' he thought, frustratingly, with gritted teeth.

'Why was she going back for him?'

Through trembling hands and a pale face, she worked her way to save him, even pulled him back to his feet to mount his horse once more, as if telling him he shouldn't die on her. He mustn't. Not when he still had men to lead, not when they still had an objective to achieve.

His surroundings had long gone indistinct, like a hazy mist. All he knew was that somehow, they'd gotten Eren back. They could go home.

But the relentless barrage of titans remained an insurmountable hurdle to face. His critical injury felt like it was being doused by flames, and he was so sure he was finally on the last stretch of his deathbed. An abnormal calmness shadowed him; somehow, he wasn't as distraught as he thought he would be, after all—

"I can always be replaced."

It was the truth, and he believed it to be so, but then—

"You can never be replaced!"