My Fault (JJK) BOOK 1

Y/N -1

While I rolled the window of my mother's car up and down, I couldn't stop thinking what the next hellish year had in store for me. I couldn't stop asking myself how we'd ended up like this, leaving our home to cross the country on our way to California. Three months had passed since I'd gotten the terrible news that would change my life forever, the same news that would make me want to cry at night, that would make me rant and rave like I was eleven instead of seventeen.

But what could I do? I wasn't an adult. I had eleven months, three weeks, and two days to go before I turned eighteen and could go away to college, far away from a mother who only thought about herself, far from these strangers I'd end up living with, because from now on I would have to share my life with two people I knew nothing about—two men, to make matters worse.

"Can you stop doing that? You're getting on my nerves," my mother said as she put the keys in the ignition and started the car.

"Lots of things you do get on my nerves, and I have to put up and shut up," I hissed back. The loud sigh I heard in reply was so routine, it didn't even surprise me.

How could she make me do this? Didn't she even care about my feelings? Of course I do, she'd told me as we were leaving my beloved hometown. Six years had passed since my parents split—and nothing about their divorce had been conventional, let alone amicable. It had been incredibly traumatic, but in the end, I'd gotten over it...or, at least, I was trying to.

It was hard for me to adapt to change; I was terrified of strangers. I'm not timid, but I'm reserved about my private life, and having to share twenty-four hours of every day with two people I barely knew made me so anxious, I wanted to get out of the car and throw up.

"I still can't understand why you won't let me stay," I said, trying to convince her one last time. "I'm not a little girl. I know how to take care of myself. Plus, I'll be in college next year, and I'll be living on my own in another country then. It's basically the same thing," I argued, trying to get her to see the light and knowing that everything I was saying was true.

"I'm not going to miss out on your last year in high school. I want to enjoy my daughter before she goes away to study. I told you a thousand times, Y/n—you're my child, I want you to be part of this new family. For God's sake! You really think I'm going to let you go that far away from me without a single adult?" she answered, keeping her eyes on the road and gesturing with her right hand.

My mother didn't understand how hard this was for me. She was starting a new life with a new husband she supposedly loved. But what about me?

"You don't get it, Mom. Did you never stop to think that this is my last year of high school? That all my friends are here, my boyfriend, my job, my team? My whole life!" I shouted, trying to hold back tears. The situation was getting the best of me, that much was clear. I never, and I mean never, cried in front of anyone. Crying was for weaklings, people who can't control their feelings. I was someone who'd cried so much in the course of my life that I'd decided never to shed another tear.

Those thoughts reminded me of when all the madness began. I still regretted not going with my mother on that damn cruise to Fiji. Because it was there, on a boat in the middle of the South Pacific, that she'd met the incredible, enigmatic Jeon William.

If I could go back in time, I wouldn't hesitate a second to tell my mother yes when she showed up in the middle of April with two tickets so we could go on vacation together. They'd been a present from her best friend, Alicia. The poor thing had broken her right leg, an arm, and two ribs in a car accident. Obviously, she and her husband couldn't go off to the islands, so she gave the trip to my mom. But come on now—mid-April? I was in the middle of exams, and the volleyball team had back-to-back games. My team had just climbed from second place to first, and that hadn't happened as long as I could remember. It was one of the greatest joys of my life. Now, though, seeing the consequences of staying home, I'd happily give back my trophy, leave the team, and fail English Lit and Spanish just to keep that wedding from ever happening.

Getting married on a ship? My mother was out of her mind! And going and doing it without telling me a single word! I found out when she got back, and she said it all blithely, like marrying a millionaire in the middle of the ocean was the most normal thing in the world. The whole situation was surreal, and now she wanted to move to a mansion in California, in the United States. It wasn't even my country! I had been born in Canada, even if my mom was from Texas and my dad from Colorado. I didn't want to leave. It was everything I knew.

"Now, you have to realize I want what's best for you," my mother said, bringing me back to reality. "You know what I've been through, what we've been through. And I've finally found a good man who loves and respects me. I haven't felt this happy in a long time. I need him, and I know you'll come to love him. And he can offer you a future we could never have dreamed of before. You can go to any college you like, Y/n."

"But I don't want to go to some fancy college, Mom, and I don't want a stranger paying for it," I replied, feeling a shiver as I thought how, at the end of the month, I'd be starting at a new fancy high school full of little rich kids.

"He's not a stranger, he's my husband, and you better get used to the idea," she added cuttingly.

"I'm never going to get used to the idea," I said, looking away from her face to the road.

My mother sighed again, and I wished the conversation would just end—I didn't want to go on talking.

"I get that you're going to miss Dan and all your friends, Y/n, but look on the bright side—you're going to have a brother!" she exclaimed.

I turned to her with a weary look. "Please don't try to sell this like something it's not."
"You're going to love him, though. Jungkook is a sweetheart," she told me, smiling as she gazed down the highway. "He's mature, responsible, and he's probably dying to introduce you to all his pals. Every time I've been there and he's around, he's stayed in his room studying or reading a book. You might even have the same tastes."

"Yeah, right. I'm sure he's crazy about Jane Austen." I rolled my eyes. "How old is he again?" I knew, of course; all my mother had talked about for months was him and Will. It was ironic that for some reason Kook had never managed to find a hole in his schedule to introduce himself to me. Moving in with a new family before I'd even met all the members of it just kind of summed up how crazy this all was.

"He's a little older than you, but you're more mature than most girls your age. You'll get along great."

Now she was kissing up to me. Mature. I still wasn't sure whether that word defined me, and I doubted a guy who was nearly twenty-two would really feel like showing me the city or letting me meet his friends. If I even wanted to, which was a whole different question.