My Fault (JJK) BOOK 1

Y/N- 19

It was a mistake, coming here tonight with Jungkook. Yeah, he was attractive, and, yeah, I couldn't even think straight when he touched me or kissed me, but I didn't like who he was. Jeon Jungkook moved in a circle I had avoided my whole life: fights, out-of-control parties, drugs, alcohol... Those were all things I didn't want to be a part of. I was still trying to get used to my life here. I'd only left home two weeks ago, and literally everything had changed. I was still messed up over Dan, and starting a relationship with Jungkook made matters worse because I was perfectly aware of what a guy like him would want from a girl like me. Maybe I was old-fashioned or weird or whatever, but I liked to do things the traditional way. I wanted a guy to want to be with me and show me that every day. I liked sweet words, kind gestures, and that just wasn't Kook. I wasn't ready for my heart to be broken again before it had begun to heal. I wasn't even sure I had a heart anymore, just thousands of little pieces I kept trying to glue back together.

I told myself I would have to try to have a normal relationship with Kook. We couldn't be together, but that didn't mean we had to hate each other. The fights with him, the push and pull since we'd met, all that was exhausting. We lived together, so we should try to be friends, if it even was possible to be friends with someone who stirred you up in that way.

I stayed by the door waiting for Lion's fight to be over. I couldn't watch. I hated physical confrontation. It was upsetting that people could enjoy it; they were even making money betting against the fighters. It was gross and humiliating.

Jungkook had walked past me to go stand with Jenna and their friends. There must have been two hundred people in the crowd. Lion won his fight after fifteen minutes, but unlike Kook, he had bruises from blows to the chest and an ugly cut under his left eye. Jenna threw herself in his arms when she saw him and kissed him while everyone cheered. Was that what Kook had wanted? For me to throw myself at him just because he'd left some guy laid out on the ground? Ridiculous.

Kook came over to me, took my hand, and walked me out. It was strange to feel his fingers intertwined with mine but somehow distant, as if this were just something practical—a way to keep me from getting lost—and there was no affection in it. Something had changed since our last conversation. He seemed mad at me, as if he didn't even want me there. It hurt, but what could I expect?

I looked at his wounded knuckles. There was dried blood on them where he'd struck his opponent. I felt nauseated, and I needed air. What the hell was I doing here?

When we were close to his car, he left me to talk to his group of friends. Jenna was gone, and I felt lonely and scared. I decided to get an Uber and started to pull up the app. But Jungkook hurried over and tore it out of my hand.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting an Uber."

"Are you crazy? This is illegal. You can't give away our location. We could get arrested."

I didn't care. This place felt dangerous, and I wanted to avoid trouble. However good he looked, he wasn't worth it.

"I need to leave," I said.

"Why?"

"Because I don't like your world, Jungkook."

He didn't seem offended. If anything, he seemed indifferent.

"You're not built for this. I shouldn't have brought you."

I wasn't built for this? His response didn't bother me per se; it was the tone he said it in.

"I'm the one who decided to come here. And now I'm the one who's deciding to go."

He laughed.

"I don't know what I expected, but this definitely wasn't it. I thought you were tougher, Freckles. You didn't flinch when you and Ronnie got into it. I sure didn't think a couple of guys punching each other would do this to you."