Michael and Susan

Chapter 7 (Michael): Optimistic

Copyright © 2024 by GroveltoHEA

Driving home from the parsonage, my mind was unsettled. Father Ellis had basically kicked me out of his home because I was holding the line. I'd never heard him speak to anyone like that before and that was saying something because I served on the vestry with him, and he could be sharp at times. My mind was so preoccupied that I didn't really notice the familiar car parked in front of our house as I pulled into our driveway. I'd no sooner closed the car door than Linda was walking up the drive toward me.

Frankly, I was in no mood for her.

"Why are you here?" I asked Linda, noticing that her mouth was swollen and her lip was split.

Pointing to her mouth, she said, "Look what Susan did to me."

"What'd you do to make her angry?" I asked.

"Nothing! Not a thing. She knocked out my tooth, Mike. She came into my house and just punched me in the mouth."

How did I not see what a liar you were before?

"I know Susan, and I know my wife wouldn't just walk into your home and punch you without a reason."

Her eyes filled with tears, and I found myself...unmoved.

"She said I could have you, Mike." Linda moved toward me. "This means we can be together."

Crossing my arms over my chest, I stepped back and fixed her with a stare. "The problem with that is I don't want to be together with you."

I wanted my wife. My Susan.

"Then why were you always over at my house all the time, Mike? I saw it in your eyes that  night, you thought about being with me."

"For a few seconds, and then what did I do? I moved you away from me. I said no and turned you down because I wouldn't do that to Susan. And the reason I was always over was because I genuinely believed you needed help. You told me you wanted to move out of the house that held so many sad memories for you, and you asked for my help. You always had a long list of things that needed to be done, big and small, on the house and property."

"Mike, you came running whenever I asked."

"We have widows all over the country because of the wars and plenty of them need help. Men have been pitching in all over the country, and I wouldn't be much of a man if I left my wife's best friend without help."

"You were happy enough to lie to her."

"I shouldn't have. You made a good case for not telling Susan, and I was enough of a fool to go along with it. I should have seen through your shenanigans, but I didn't."

"You wanted to be with me."

"No. I wanted to help a war widow who was my wife's best friend."

"The point is, your wife told me I was welcome to you."

"She has no right to speak for me like that. You're not welcome to anything of mine."

"Mike, we can be together now if she's backing away from you. She can't even give you a baby. I could and I would. I could give you all the babies you want. I know how much you want them, and I know what a disappointment Susan is to you for not giving you children."

"Shut your mouth," I told her. "I'm not sure where you got the idea that Susan's a disappointment to me, but you're very wrong."

"She told me she felt like she was disappointing you. I wouldn't disappoint you, Mike."

"Susan was wrong. I was never disappointed with her, and I would rather be childless with Susan than have children with you."

"I could make you forget her --"

There was that sultry voice and look in her eyes again. 

Stupid, Mike. You were so stupid and gullible.

"You couldn't make me forget Susan if you tried. I love my wife, and the only thing I feel for you is contempt. You should go now, and don't plan on ever showing up here again or I'll let Susan knock out your other front tooth. Although, if she hit you hard enough, your tooth could turn black and you could still lose it."

I started walking up onto the porch.

"Mike!"

I turned and pointed at her. "Get out of here now, Linda. Find some other stooge to help you. Maybe someone who actually wants you this time."

I walked inside my house and locked the door in case her boldness urged her to walk into the house. It was quiet inside and since the sun was setting, it was starting to get dark so I turned on some lights. Going into the kitchen, I saw where the roses and the shattered glass from the vase lay all over the floor, the water forming small puddles on the linoleum.

Never in a million years had I imagined Susan wouldn't be here to accept the flowers.

A good wife doesn't leave her husband.

But a good husband doesn't lie to his wife because another woman cons him into keeping the fact that he's helping her best friend from his own wife.

"She doesn't know what it feels like, Mike, to not have anyone to help. To be completely alone in this world. I feel sick having to beg for your help, and if she finds out, I don't think I'd ever get over the humiliation. Women look at you funny once they realize you don't have a husband, and they don't want their husbands around you."

"Susan's not going to end your friendship, Linda. You know she's not like that."

"I hear about friendships ending all the time because of this -- even between the very best of friends. I'd just die if Susan felt like that. I can't lose her friendship, too, on top of losing my husband. I have no money to hire all the tasks done that I need completed to be able to sell this place, so I don't know who else I could turn to other than you. Oh, Mike, I don't know how much longer I can take living here because it just makes me sad all the time and breaks my heart every single day. It reminds me of everything I lost all because my husband gave his life for this country."

"I promise you, Susan won't mind."

"Oh, never mind helping then, Mike. I'll just have to pay for the work to be done whenever I can scrape the money together because I won't risk my friendship with Susan. It's all I have left."

Sighing, I grabbed a kitchen towel from the drawer and got to work. After I cleaned up the water, I got out the broom and dustpan and swept up the glass and roses, throwing them into the dustbin. Clean up didn't take long, so I grabbed a beer and sat down at the kitchen table, Susan's letter in front of me.

I read it once. I read it twice. And then I just read it over and over and over, and maybe it was the beers I kept grabbing from the fridge, but certain phrases started leaping out at me.

...I don't believe you understood just how deeply you hurt me. 

You cannot imagine the way my heart broke...

Waiting for you to come home that night was the loneliest, most isolating feeling I had ever experienced in my life.

...if you had realized how deeply you had hurt me, maybe we could have worked on this. 

You dismissed me and the way I felt...

...you told me that I wasn't important to you and my feelings and pain didn't matter to you. 

But underneath my disappointment, underneath the hurt you inflicted, I still love you.

It was all right there in her own words for me to see, had I not been so defensive. Had I not been so intent on holding the line, as Father had said.

I'd hurt my wife deeply. I'd dismissed Susan's feelings and pain and had broken her heart.

But despite everything, Susan still loved me.

That had to be the starting point. I got up, walked to Susan's secretary and opened the drawer to pull out my stationery and fountain pen. Returning to the kitchen table, I began the letter that I hoped would bring my wife back to me even before her money ran out.

At that point, I was still optimistic it wouldn't take long.

Copyright © 2024 by GroveltoHEA