She sat down leaning on the wall of her dark room hugging her folded knees tightly . Her eyes were almost closed because of the dizziness due to taking overdose of sleeping pill. Tears streamed down her cheeks . She pulled out the phone from her pant's pocket. Unlocking it with fingerprint, touched gallery option before bringing his photo on the screen of her phone. Her eyes barely open. She felt her breaths getting heavier , her hands and feet started shivering again. Her brought his photo over her chest before placing it just above her heart . Her whole body shaked ,her breaths uneven and her feet getting cold with each passing second. She clutched her phone more tightly over her chest . Her lips quivered due to extreme level of ache she felt in her heart . Daily panic attack has become a part of her daily routine but sleeping pills has made it even worse today. She bitted her bottom lip to keep down her muffling voice . She felt someone sitting infront of her, it's not possible though because the door of her room was locked from inside and nobody could come inside. She tried hard to keep her eyes open but she couldn't completely open it . She could see blurry image of him . He wore the same light purple coloured shirt which he wore 2 years ago and she felt something different for him that day . His dampened hair was nicely combed back. His face looked fresh . She again tried to open her eyes just to get his view clearly but failed.
"Egulu kore kichu hobe?" He said in mocking tone while chewing something.
She pressed her phone more tightly over her chest as if someone will snatch it from her .
"G.. go aa.. away!" She whispered along with fresh tears rolling down from her eyes .
He laughed at her not even looking at her properly.
" ami pagol na bujhcchen? Ekan teke chole jan " these words somehow made their way out of throat. Her body was shaking again and tears were rolling down continuously .
"You know very well I will never love you back then why are you shedding tears for me? Don't you think it is your foolishness that you started loving me even after knowing the difference between us?" He threw all the questions together giving her reality check again .
"I.. I.. if I wo..uld have think before falling in love then how could it be love?" She stammered.
"Tch tch!" He looked at her rolling his eyes as if feeling pity on her but his tone was mixed with mock .
She closed her eyes tightly to avoid him ,his eyes filled with fake sympathy, his mocking tone .
"P..pl.. plea.. se chole jan ! You.. are making me feel suffocated!" She pleaded in her breaking voice which hardly came out of her mouth.
" shahida!you are totally wrong ! It is not me who is making you feel suffocated ! It is your love for me which is making you feel suffocated and now it will take your life as well"
She again opened her eyes to find him giving her mocking smile.
"Keno kortesen egulu? Why don't you just get out of my room and my heart?" She tried to yell but the only voice she made was whisper .
" I never told you to take me inside your heart . By the way what did you think? I am sure you thought I will also love you and have feelings for you ?" He frowned with a weird smirk on his lips and continued " Have you ever seen yourself and me?Do we have any match? Like tumi kothai ar ami kothai ! How did you even think that? Tch tch! Somethings I feel pity on you"
She wanted to scream and answer him back but her throat and body didn't support her . Her view got more blurry ,she could barely breath but her body got defeated and stopped shaking . She again tried to open her red swollen eyes . Her grip around her phone loosened and slowly fell down from her hand . Tears were uncontrollably falling from the corners of her eyes .
"The kind of love I have for you was the kind of love I have always wished someone to have for me . I am not beautiful like poetry's description neither brilliant like you but one thing I always had was my self respect. B.. bu.. but my love snatched away all of my self respect. My love for you is bigger than every dream, every wish I ever had. I saw so many people who were in love but you know what? The most dangerous among them is me " she chuckled before continuing " you said I will fall in love more than 3 times and it's just the beginning but you are wrong . I will never fall in love again because you will always be with in my imaginary world . Maybe you will not be mine in reality but in my imagination ,I will always find you sitting beside me holding my hand . We will have a cute family in my thoughts . You have never left me alone from the day I have started loving you . Whenever I close my eyes , I feel you hugging me tightly hiding me from this qruel world and reality . But when reality hits me , I feel that bone crunching pain over and over again. The thought of someone else holding your hand ,someone else touching you ,someone else getting the love I have always craved for kills me . Reality haunts sir! " She defeatedly let go of her knees trying to look at him . After trying hard , she dragged herself near him just to feel his presence. She leisurely wrapped her weak shivering hands around his body "ekbar e mere felen. Hocche na ar" with each word, her breath got heavier. She felt his arms tightening around her petite figure. Her slow muffling sound turned into hiccups " Please don't leave me na! I want to be with you ! I want you sir !I want you!" She whispered swallowing her heavy hiccups. Tears rolled down from his eyes too . He patted her back caressing her hair with his other hand. Their hug got tighter . Finally their entwined body collapsed on the floor . Tears streaming down from their eyes . He held her face with both of his palms with almost care . Bringing his face near her , he gently removed the gap between their lips .
"I Love you" three magical words escaped his lips .
