Bitemarks & Bloodstains

Chapter 4 - Kiera

That afternoon, I took a long ride on my motorbike to try and clear my head. While I owned several bikes, I chose to ride my Triumph Bonneville T120. Always a sucker for the British classics, I hadn't been able to resist purchasing it brand new when the company finally gave it the update it deserved.

Usually all it took was a long, aimless ride through the countryside to rid my mind of all its nagging thoughts and concerns. However, getting over what I'd almost let happen that morning wasn't as easy as it should have been, so when I got back to the Manor, I also spent several solitary hours working on the ancient Vincent Black Shadow I'd been restoring. It'd taken me years to get my hands on one that wasn't beyond repair and whenever I had free time or needed a distraction, I'd retreat to the garage to get lost in the intricate and time-consuming work of building a motorbike from the frame up.

Unfortunately, neither of these activities provided the diversion they usually did and more often than not I found myself staring at the floor while I brooded on every mistake I'd made over the past few months.

However, before long, evening arrived, and I couldn't continue to ignore my Thirst any longer.

Before I'd turned, whenever I was home from an assignment, I'd eat in the dining hall or go to a pub with my colleagues, but since no one appeared to be around other than Remi, who dined alone in her room most nights, I knew my absence would not be noted so I took dinner alone in my room.

While vampires don't need to consume normal food, I found it far less unsettling to consume the blood I required with a side of something familiar. My taste for everything other than blood had been significantly diluted with the change, but the modicum of normalcy that accompanied eating regular food helped temper the strong aversion I felt towards the unwanted addition to my mealtimes.

It had been several months, but the thick viscous texture of blood as it slid down my throat still upset me, and I often felt nauseous when consuming a pint even though it was the only time of day the gnawing hunger inside me was halfway sated. After a lifetime of despising this aspect of vampirism, I couldn't shake the instinctual abhorrence that accompanied the act, despite its necessity for my very survival. Still, I endured it each day regardless of how utterly disgusted it made me feel with myself and the monster I'd become.

When I'd discussed the issue with Leon, my pseudo-mentor in all things vampiric, he'd admitted it had taken him several years to get past his aversion as well. Although, he'd also informed me that blood is a million times better fresh, warm, and human, while the refrigerated animal blood I consume is hardly palatable even to the most starved of vampires so clearly that doesn't make matters any easier. Still, it takes the edge off well enough and since I've never consumed human blood, I can't tell the difference.

I know there are non-violent ways to procure the blood I need, in fact, Leon had offered to connect me to his supplier, but I'd flat out refused. Part of me wanted to believe my refusal was due to my own personal morals on the issue, but deep down I knew my choice was driven by the fact that Remi would hate me even more if she found out there was an alternative and I hadn't taken it.

So, instead, I purchase bags of refrigerated animal blood online from a variety of sources that, first and foremost, don't ask questions about my usage, and allow bulk purchasing. It really is foul stuff and apparently does nothing to help enhance my innate vampiric abilities, but it's better than the alternative and it's all I'm willing to do for the time being.

In this way, I make do, hiding the blood bags under my bed in a portable cooler and feeding as often as necessary, which seemed to be roughly once or twice a day. However, I worried my intake would increase now that I'd returned, since the Thirst was more constant and difficult to ignore. Being in such close proximity to so many humans, especially one that I desire so strongly, was not going to be easy, but if it meant chugging more animal blood to keep myself in check then that's what I'd do.