Helluva Boss

THE RETURN OF THE FLYING BABY AND THE REVENGE OF THE TITTY DEAR!!!!

You fall from the portal and onto the hard office floor with a thud, "ugh..." You groan. Millie and Moxxie fall out after you and land on top of you, you feel your spine crack.

"Sorry Y/N." Millie and Moxxie say.

The get off of you and Millie helps you up.

"Thanks, Mills."

Blitzø begins to speak before Millie can respond, "nice shooting out there, Mox, pro as usual! Millie, beautiful bloody mess in there. Y/N, great hacking, really gives this team more help." He does a chiefs kiss, "mwah! What a great fucking day this is!"

You stare at Blitzø as you remember the bloody mess they made... Not to be British or anything though 'cause it was an actual bloody mess.

"You sure seem in good spirits today, sir. It's rare to see you were something... Not bad." As Mozzie says this a body falls from the portal and onto the office floor, you gag at the blood soaked stench that filled up the room. 

"Well it's the..." Then it registers with Blitzø what Moxxie said, "first of all fuck you, it's the full moon and I've got to meet up with Stolas tonight. Felt like dressing up a little, since it's been a few months since I've been in his feathered ass." He hangs up his jacket.

"A few months!" Moxxie pops up in front of Blitzø.

"Yeah, the bird's started giving me more ways out of our monthly fuck-sesh." Blitzø says smugly, "He'd be all like 'Oh, Blitzy I know the full moon is tonight, but you don't have to come if you don't want to Blitzy,' so I've just been taking breaks from having to plow his feathered ass into his fancy mattress.

You frown at his response to Moxxie.

Moxxie must feel the same way because he groans, " TMI, sir.

"Point being: tonight I felt like I could use a little fuckery. It's been a good day, feeling like my stamina is up. And I'm horny!" As Blitzø said this Loona and Millie stomped on the dead body behind him. You swallow your lunch.

Loona looks up from stomping on the dead body, "oh shit. Sounds like he's getting bored of you."

"What?"

"Yeah, man. When someone wants to see you less and less, big red flag. If they give you chances to ditch they probably want outs themselves, just want to be passive aggressive about it, dicks." Loona looks at her nails as she speaks.

"She's gotta point, Blitzø..." You add.

Blitzø doesn't wanna hear it 'cause he goes full jiberish, "how do y'all know?" When he looks back at Loona she's gone.

Then his phone rings, and when he picks up it's Loona, "because I do that all the time." Then she hangs up.

"Well tits. Guess I finally gotta do position 37 tonight." You raise your eyebrows wondering what position 37 is. "Don't worry, though this book ain't going no where." He picks up the grimoire, "If I have anything to fuck about it, I'll dick him so good he'll let us keep this thing another year easy."

"Well I hope so, sir." Moxxie adds, "business has actually hit a peak and it would be disastrous to lose what we've worked for now." He pats the paper in his hand. "So fuck him good, sir."

"Don't worry, Mox. By the end of the night I'll have Stolas eating out of my ass." Blitzø pokes Moxxie as if to prove a point. "If the gag'll let him. Eh!" He bursts out laughing as he falls to the floor.

"Stoooop!!" Moxxie exclaims.

"Okay grow up, Mox, it's what adults do, we're horny." He opens up a chest full of sex toys. "Wait... Fuuuuuck me, Moxxie I've used like all the shit in this box! If Stolas is bored after this!" He pulls out a horse tail butt plug, you snuff your nose up at it. "I... I need to up the ante." Blitzø darts to the exit. "Moxxie I need you to hold down the fort, get some... Overdue paperwork done."