Twinkling Melancholy (Rebel Rhapsody #1)

Simula

Trigger Warning: Homophobia, Harassment and foul words

Tranquility. Serenity.

That's how I would describe my painting, with soft pastel colors blending seamlessly on the canvas. The colors I used truly brought beauty to it, giving life and peace to the eyes. The brushstrokes flow perfectly, making it more beautiful and calming to see; each color represents a multitude of emotions and thoughts.

Painting is not just an art for me. Para sa akin isa itong boses at mensahe na nanggagaling sa iba't ibang porma at estilo. It's like an eye-opener for everyone, a window into a world the society often refuses to acknowledge. We live in a society governed by societal expectation and norms that cage everyone to embrace and express themseleves. But not for me.

I am gay, bakla, bading, baliko. Those are the names they used to call me. They label me as someone that is Salot. Iyon bang kapag naririnig nila ang salitang Bakla ay para isang bagay na nakakadiri pakinggan at makita. Sabi nila lalaki daw ako, ano daw ang karapatan kong baguhin ang bagay na nilikha ng diyos. I get it, I respect their religious belief and claims, but thinking about it. It's too unfair

I accept their mockery. They said that I was supposed to not act weakly, I was supposed to be strong. They see my sexuality as a sin and a shame in society to the point that their traditional beliefs and judgements made me question myself at times, but as I grow older and become self aware. I refused to mold myself into their narrow perception of normalcy.

Na realize ko na okay rin palang maging kakaiba-to go against the norms or standards they have.

It wasn't easy, even my family had a hard time accepting me for who I am. They were pushing me to go to another country or school. At first, I didn't want to but I couldn't do anything. Sabi nila baka daw titino ako at gagaling kapag pinapasok ako sa isang All boys school. Right at that moment, I realize na hindi naman ito Sakit na mawawala o kailangang gamutin. They we're expecting na baka maimpluwensyahan ako ng mga andun, ending lalo lang akong nabading.

"Psst! 150!" Napatingin naman ako sa nagsalita.

Nang lingunin ko, nakita ko yung tatlo na lalaki na magkakaibigan. Nagtatawanan pa sila. I really don't give a fuck to these type of people.

Seryoso ko lang silang tiningnan at muling binalik sa ginagawa ang atensyon.

I am really curious why do people like them still exist? I mean napaka basura ng mga ugali, pangit na nga.

"Gago! Di namansin," tawa pa nila "Sige na, mukhang masarap kang sumubo e!"

My ears tingled at what I heard. It was so disrespectful. I never feel disrespected. My family and friends always treat me with respect. Tapos babastusin lang ako ng mga lalaking ito na ang alam lang ay puro basketball at mang manyak?

"Paki pot pa siya oh, sige na! My place!" Hirit niya pa. Gago talaga.

Tumayo ako, I picked up my things and put it on my backpack. Ayaw ko makisalamuha sa mga kagaya nila na mga manyak.

"Teka lang, saan ka pupunta?" Ramdam ko ang pagsunod nila.

"Sige na, mukhang masarap ka e. Tatlo kami, kayang kaya-"

Right before he could finish his words, I punched him.

"Gago ka ah!" Rinig kong sigaw nung dalawa at susugudin sana ako ng maunahan ko. Rinig ko ang singhapan ng mga tao sa paligid.