Shadow

10

Teval is falling.

Whatever nightmare he's stuck in makes his body jerk awake the moment he's about to hit the water. His back cramps painfully, fully waking him as he grits his teeth. Taking a breath to calm himself, he tries to will the pain away before finally opening his eyes, glad to be safe on the couch and not falling through the air. A glance around in the dim room doesn't tell him how much time has passed, and even though the cramp in his back is quickly numbed by some sort of casting Ista has made, the rest of his body aches. Despite the nightmare, he was much happier being unconscious where he couldn't feel any of it.

Teval shifts, taking stock of all the injuries across his body, and he can definitely feel the split in his lip now as well as the pain in his face. Someone turns a page on his right, so Ista must be sitting in the chair, reading a book. Teval closes his eyes again, deciding he's safe for now.

"Do you need anything?"

Teval's eyes pop open in surprise at the sound of Lexton's deep but soft voice, and he stares at where his feet are under the blanket, not knowing what to say initially. "I don't think so," he finally replies, but it comes out raspy. The silence that follows isn't uncomfortable, but it's something Teval doesn't feel right sitting through.

"Are you okay to talk?" Lexton asks softly.

Teval is a little too awake now. "Not much else I can do."

Lexton closes his book and sets it aside, so Teval decides he may as well start.

"I'm sorry for deceiving you—"

"You already apologized," Lexton says as he stands, and for a moment, Teval thinks he might leave, but he pulls the chair into a better position so they can face one another. Teval is thankful for the move since his neck is a bit too stiff to turn.

"Thank you for saving me," he tries again.

"You said that, too. And that's twice now," Lexton points out gently. "You owe me."

Teval sighs. "I doubt you could ever end up in a situation where I would need to save you. You'd just get yourself out before I could even try."

The corners of Lexton's lips curl upward. "At least you know your limits."

"Too true," Teval replies, taking a slow breath.

"You said, this isn't how I wanted to do this," Lexton prompts. "You wanted to tell me."

Teval nods, closing his eyes as he wishes things hadn't gone the way they did.

"When?"

"I almost told you at the party, but I thought it'd be better to do it in private, so I planned to tell you the next time I taught you."

Lexton nods slowly. "Were you planning to go back to the academy?"

"For a while I couldn't decide, but the longer I stayed with the team, the less I wanted to go back. And now..." He shakes his head. Every time Teval related his experiences to Lexton, each of them weighed him down more and more. "I gave them so much of my life, and it feels wasted..."

"At least they didn't completely break you." Lexton's voice is soft now. "That was one of the reasons I ended up never becoming friends with you before. I just..." He hesitates as his gaze drops. "I couldn't let myself get close to someone who might report me."

Teval shouldn't blame Lexton, but knowing that he walked away because of the academy hurts a lot more than Teval thought it would. He never asked to be enrolled. He didn't have a choice and was too young to understand what they were like back then, but at least he was trained properly. "I wish I didn't have to give them more money."