HELLS HOTEL REMASTERED [Son Of Greed]

loo loo land burning down

[Cut to Loo Loo Land. A van with an I.M.P decal spray painted on the side pulls into the rather empty parking lot. Moxxie exits the van and opens the side door. A very cramped Stolas extracts himself excitedly. His daughter exits the van far less excitedly. Stolas dons an apple-themed hat and gestures toward the park gate. Octavia groans and pulls her hat low over her face.]

Blitzo: Now, remember: this is work and work only. Me and my crew are not here to satisfy your perverted bird needs, alright?

Octavia: *disgustedly* Hey... Dad... Do we have to--?

Blitzo: Okay, yeah. Hold on right there, sweetie. [turns to Stolas] If you try fuckin' my little ass in that park, I swear to--

Stolas: You are so cute when you are serious!

Grimm:TMI Guys TMI

Octavia: I'm literally gonna be sick.

Moxxie: Oh, crumbs! I knew today would be a lot! What do you need?

[Moxie fishes around in a fanny pack and throws out several pill bottles as he lists off his inventory.]

Moxxie: Anti-acids? Ibuprofen?

[Moxxie shows Octavia several hypodermic needles of a glowing, acid green substance.]

Moxxie: Morphine?

Octavia: That was figurative, old man.

Moxxie: Oh, right.

[Moxxie chuckles sheepishly as he discards the needles into a nearby baby carriage, where a baby imp happily reaches out to play with its dangerous new "toys." Which Grimm quickly takes them away]

Grimm:damn it mox

Moxxie: *under his breath* But she said it was literal.

Millie: *excitedly* Wooooow! I haven't been to this place since I was a tot!

[A large letter falls off the sign of a nearby ride, crushing the teenaged imp underneath.]

Millie: It hasn't changed a bit. Ohhh! LOOK! It's Big Woobly!

[Millie gestures toward a hideously malformed animatronic dinosaur, which opens its mouth and lets out a terrifying, demonic shriek.]

Grimm:god this place has gone to shit

Moxxie: That is... deeply upsetting.

Millie: Oh, come on! It's fun! You've never been here?

Grimm: I have been here way to many times and it fuckings sucks here

Moxxie: No. Theme parks always disturbed me, especially the mascots.

[The park's mascot, Loo Loo appears out of nowhere behind Moxxie.]

Loo Loo: Well, hey there!

Moxxie: *jumps back in terror* AAAAAH!!

Loo Loo: I'm Loo Loo! Welcome to Loo Loo Land! If y'all get hurt here, just try and sue us!

Stolas: *gasps* Look! Via! It's Loo Loo!

Octavia: I have a question.

Loo Loo: Well, ask away, little girlie! A-hyuk a-hyuk a-hyuk!

Octavia: Is it true this park is just a really shameless spin-off of Lucifer's far more popular Lu Lu World?

Loo Loo: *beat* No?

Grimm: yes 100%

Octavia: (looks at Grimm)This place reeks of insecure corporate shame.

[Stolas chuckles nervously as he leads Octavia away.]