Shattered Tears mxb

Chapter 12

Riley's POV

"What's a mate?" I scratched the back of my hand and sat down next to him.

Leo looked at me for a while just biting his lip. "In our world a mate is the person you spend the rest of your life with. It's the person that's made especially for you as you are for them. They complete you in a way no other person can." He laid on the bed staring at the ceiling. "Not everyone values them. Some people chose not to be with their mates for whatever reason." He said tentatively. "For an Alpha, a mate leads the pack with them. They support the Alpha and stand next to him as they shape the pack into a prosperous one."

I'm Mason's mate.

He knows I'm his mate and chose not to say anything. He didn't tell me. He doesn't want me. He doesn't like me. I'm not good enough to spend my life with him. I'm nothing. He thinks I'm nothing. Of course I'm nothing. I'm lucky he likes my body. I'm just as good as my body. I'm nothing. I'm nothing. I'm nothing.

No, I won't think like that. I'm a strong person I deserve to be happy. I'm a good person. I'm starting to make friends. I have people who care about me.

Mason doesn't.

"Oh." I hug my knees. Is this how it would always be? A spiral of self hatred that I can't stop even if I tried. "He doesn't want me..."

"I'm sorry Riley, but try not to take it personally. Alpha didn't have a good introduction to mates. When he was..." He paused and looked over at me with an unnerving gaze. "Look, I'm loyal to Alpha Mason no matter what. My loyalty will always be with him because my wolf is bound to him just like every other person in our pack. But I'm going to tell you some things that aren't necessarily a secret so you can understand when he hurts you." He sat up and looked down at his lap. His hand reached over to my leg but stopped halfway. "Just remember I'm not making excuses for him, but I can't change him. If you ever feel like you can't handle what he will put you through please, I'm begging you, come to me or Sunny."

He inhaled deeply. "As a child his father, our old alpha, hated the notion of destined mates. He believed that a mate was nothing more than the Moon Goddess trying to control your life, and it was the leader's job to find the best candidate despite fate. That's exactly what he did. Mason's mother wasn't his true mate, it was a woman he thought would be Luna. When Mason was old enough to walk he began training him. He would tie him up and beat him so he could learn how to handle pain. As he grew older his 'training' became more intense, quite frankly it could only be called torture. I won't tell you all the details but there's a particular instance I'll never be able to forget."

"When we were about 13 we came back to the pack late because we stayed for basketball practice. Mason didn't tell his father and as soon as we walked through the door he asked him to strip. He didn't scream and simply said it calmly as if it was second nature. Mason began begging him not to do it in front of me, but his father simply said 'strip or I'll kill her' and he began stripping. I tried to leave" Tears streamed down his face "but he forced me to stay and watch with his Alpha command. He unbuckled his belt and started to lash at Mason's back until it was bleeding. Through it all Mason never made a sound, never cried, never even flinched. That's when I knew it wasn't the first time his father had done something like this. When he was done he poured alcohol on his back, but what happened next was the worst part." I hugged and cried with him as he recounted the horrible story.

"He made Mason thank him for making him a stronger Alpha. It was sick. As soon as he walked away I threw up and rushed to help him. But Mason simply started putting his clothes on and asked me to leave. I refused to leave...until I saw the look he was giving me. He had unshed tears, but his face was completely blank. There was no trace of any emotion on his face and eventually his eyes became blank too. I left and we never talked about it again. 4 years later when he killed his father he looked exactly like him."

He got up and walked to the door. Before he left he turned to me, "Mason is not like us, not that it's his fault, but he will hurt you. I'll help you in any way I can Riley because you're our Luna and you're my friend." he smiled weakly before shutting the door.

Mason's life was filled with torture, but despite that he was still able to lead this pack. A pack I'm supposed to lead with him, but he doesn't want me as his mate. Unless I can prove to him that I'm worth the position. I can prove to this pack that I can be a good Luna. I'll be the best Luna this pack has ever seen and Mason will see that I can be a good mate.

Even if he never accepts me as his mate I'll make sure he likes me. He has to like me. He will.

Why would he like an ugly person like you?

He has to like me.

You're worthless to him; he won't even acknowledge you as a mate.

He has to like me.

You can only be his sex toy.

He has to like me.

You know he doesn't like you but you're a desperate slut for him.

He has to like me.

Your own parents don't like you, why would he?

He has to like me.

As long as I'm useful to him I won't be alone. I was made for only him, that's my purpose.

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Unknown POV

I look at the pathetic human through the portal. He has no sense of self worth and is so deliciously pathetic. If only he knew how powerful he was. I smirk at my depressed little weapon itching to snap the thin threads floating above his head keeping him sane.

All in good time.

"Just you wait Riley your true purpose is much more fun."