Shattered Tears mxb

Chapter 4

Riley's POV

The sound of water running brought me out of my peaceful slumber. I look around the room not exactly remembering where I was, but then last night's event played in my mind. Well damn I am absolutely out of mind. I had a one night stand with the most attractive man I had ever seen.

Mason walked out the shower dripping wet with only a towel wrapped around his waist. My eyes followed a droplet of water that fell off his hair down his strong neck into his strong pecs, and down between his abs. He looked dangerously hot.

"If you would have told me you moved so much in your sleep I would have booked you a separate room." He mumbled while drying his hair. My lord, the way his large biceps flexed was so sinful, so strong. "Stop staring."

I blushed looking down at my lap fiddling with my fingers. What was I supposed to do now? Should I just leave? I really hope they didn't tow my car at the restaurant. Would he give me a ride there or should I call an uber? I was so lost in my mind I didn't even notice him getting dressed in a fitted suit. Does this man ever look average?

"I had my driver bring your car, it's in the garage." Thank god. "You're welcome to stay as long as you'd like; I own the hotel. I'll have to leave, I have a plane to catch." My heart hurt as he began walking out the room.

"Wait!" I say surprising myself, what now? "When are you coming back?" I pathetically ask hoping I'll get to see him again.

"I'm not coming back. I already finished my business here." His voice was monotone as he stared at me blankly. He looked at me a second longer before we walked out the room and apparently my life too.

Why am I so stupid? Tears began clouding my vision as an unknown pain gripped my heart, shattering it into tiny pieces. I know it was only supposed to be a one night stand so why do I feel this way. All I could do was sob feeling the rejection wash all over my body. It was as if he took my very being for the sole purpose of tossing it in the trash. I started choking on my own sobs, not breathing properly. The room's wall started closing in on me with less oxygen going to my brain.

I tried calming down my breathing, already feeling the creeping darkness of passing out. "It was just sex it meant nothing." I mumbled repeatedly rocking myself in fetal positions.
Eventually I calmed down enough to get off the bed and get dressed. I looked around the messy room trying to remember the bittersweet moments of last night. I spot my keys on the nightstand next to a note.

The sex was better than expected.

That's all the note said with $1,000 beside it. I started crying all over again feeling like a fucking cheap hooker. I threw out the note and grabbed a new paper writing 'housekeeping tip' next to the money. I grabbed my keys and rushed out the room as soon as possible.

All I could think about on the ride down the elevator was how dumb I was to let Mason come so close to my heart. A man I had only met once, a man I let take my virginity. Was it even possible to forget the moments we shared? They felt special to me, but apparently that feeling was only one sided. He didn't even use a condom. Wait. He didn't use a condom! What if he gave me an STD or STI.

How could I be so careless? I felt my phone ding in my pocket. My unrealistic mind was really hoping it would be Mason, but that wouldn't be possible considering we never gave each other our phone numbers. I take out my phone seeing that it's actually a message from my mom.

Family dinner at 8, don't be late.

Great, that should be fun. Hearing my parents argue about dumb things or worse just awkward silence the whole time we're eating. I can't even remember the last time we were all in the same house together.

I made it home at around 3pm, not surprised that my parents weren't home yet, however, what did surprise me were the chef's in the kitchen cooking. "Hello Mr. Riley, we'll be preparing tonight's dinner." The old man said while whipping some sort of batter. Great so they can afford chef's, but never bothered to hire one when I was younger all alone not knowing how to cook.

I go up to my room looking around the depressing state it's in. Clothes were piling up in the corner of the room, and my desk was overflowing with junk paper that I didn't feel like throwing away. I try not to have a melt down reminding myself that I'm the one who let it get in this state, instead I focus my energy on cleaning the room and leaving it spotless.

By the time I finished cleaning, showering, and getting ready for dinner it was time to face my unpleasant parents. I made my way to the dining room mentally preparing myself for whatever events were in store for me.

"Good, you made it on time." My mother said sitting next to my father who was at the head of the table. Like always they were dressed formally; my mother in a red gown and my father in a suite. He didn't even bother looking up from his phone to greet his son who he hasn't seen in 6 months 2 weeks and 6 days.

I sit across from my mother waiting for the food to be brought out by the chefs. Hopefully this dinner is the awkward silence type as I had no desire to speak to them.

"What university will you be attending?" My mother asked while sipping some wine. My father finally put down his phone and diverted his attention to me.

"I'm going to a small college up north." Before she could say anything the food was brought out. It looked to be some fancy plated chicken and rice.

"You're telling me that you're not going to Harvard to study medicine or law?" Her voice was strained, glaring at me across the table. My father was no better with his emotionless face, the only thing giving him away were his pursed lips.

"Well I want to eventually go to veterinary school," I mutter while playing with my food. "That's a sort of doctor."

"If you're not going to do something useful with your pathetic life, consider yourself cut off if you go there." My father casually said while cutting his chicken. "You already have a spot in Harvard if you wish to continue having a home." My mother only nodded her head at his words eating her stupid salad.

!{AN: the rest of the chapter will be his depressive episode that includes self harm}!

I excused myself before running up to my room feeling an episode coming. The heaviness in my chest was immense with something waiting to explode deep inside. With the door to my room locked I began gathering everything I needed to have an organized depressive episode. After sterilizing my blade I played my depressed playlist through my headphones, and it was time.

The odd, but familiar, feeling of my skin itching to get cut was getting to be overwhelming. I looked at my hips to see which old scar I wanted to re-open or if I wanted to add a new one. I chose to reopen an old one as the clean up will be slightly easier. The shiny blade pierced my skin in the most delicious way possible, and instantly the heaviness in my chest was lifted. I couldn't stop until I could see the blood dripping down my leg. Only then was I able to calm down as the after pain provided the best comfort to my deranged thoughts. I let myself fall asleep against the cold floor wishing I was ready to kill myself already.