OFF LIMITS

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN - A New Kind of Happiness

KAT

It's been a significant amount of time since I moved back to Vancouver, and I still haven't finished unpacking.

It's not like I brought many things back from Toronto. I didn't have much there. I was living with a roommate who already had her apartment fully furnished, so the only things I owned in that apartment were my clothes and the furniture in my room. Of course, I sold the furniture, but I brought my clothes back with me. And I have a lot.

The last two suitcases of clothes I have left to unpack are the one with some random clothes I don't use that much and the one with my skating stuff.

I got hyper-fixated on finding a jacket I hadn't seen since I got to Vancouver. I was pretty sure it had to be in that suitcase full of random stuff, so I ended up unpacking it while trying to find the jacket, and it was indeed there.

But after unpacking that suitcase, the only thing I have left is the one filled with my skating costumes, tights, clothes I used to train in, endless skate guards and leg warmers, and, of course, my skates.

The easiest thing to do would be to dispose of the suitcase in its entirety. I could give it to Rosie to take to the rink. I know for a fact that my costumes would be put to good use there. But I just can't do it.

Giving out all these things is just accepting the fact that I'll never compete again. I've been sitting on the floor of my room, staring at the suitcase for about thirty minutes. Trying to decide what to do.

I either accept that my skating career is over and say goodbye to everything in this suitcase.

Or I unpack it, and I keep living in denial.

I open the suitcase and the first thing I see are my skates.

Okay, my career as a professional figure skater might be over, but that doesn't mean I won't ever skate at all again. Just for fun, of course.

I may be able to let go of everything else in this suitcase, but not my skates. Even if I can't compete ever again, there's no way I'll stay away from the ice forever.

I just can't.

"Kitty Kat!" A loud, deep yell from downstairs causes me to drop the skates back into the suitcase. It's my dad, probably yelling at me so we can have dinner together.

I swiftly close the suitcase and put it back in my closet, where it will belong for the time being.

At least until I overcome this identity crisis.

When I get downstairs, the dining table is filled with Chinese take-out boxes, and my dad sets the table with only two places. Mine and his.

"That's a lot of food," I speak. He looks up at me, setting the plates.

"I ordered before I found out that both of your sisters are eating out tonight." He shrugs and then sinks to his seat at the head of the table.

"Beer?" I ask him before taking my seat. I've missed quite a few family dinners lately, so I guess I should take advantage of the fact that I'm home tonight and I can have a nice dinner with my dad.

"Absolutely." He smiles, and his eyes wrinkle.

I quickly run to the kitchen to grab us two beers and then head back to the table to dig into the mountains of Chinese food my dad and I will indulge in tonight.

"Was your boyfriend busy tonight?" He pries, taking a sip of his beer. My dad is so bad at this stuff. I'm actually impressed he wants to talk about it.