Fourteen

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When you were in high school, there were many boys who tried to persuade you, but you always turned them down since you were too young for love. Too young to understand the genuine meaning of love, since for you, love is everything that excites you and makes you eager to take risks.

That's why, when you first saw Jay on social media, you felt obliged to appreciate and support him in any way you could, even if you knew he couldn't give back what you'd given.

Your parents once asked you what you got for being a fan of his, despite the fact that you were wasting money. They waited for your response, but you didn't know the correct term, since it's tough for you to convey because whatever words you speak, they'll never understand, not until they're in your position.

Growing up as a Jay fan, you continuously remind yourself that no man can compare to him. He combines all of the characteristics that are rarely seen among men. To the point that no such individual can compare to him.

Jay existence is everything.

He is admirable. He's perfect.

And it's difficult because you want to be selfish, even if he isn't yours.

Your gaze never left Jay from the minute you both arrived at the hotel. You're not sure why, but when you leave the restaurant, he appears upset, which is why you didn't bother asking him since you're scared he'll become furious.

It's midnight, but you haven't left your room you're simply watching Netflix or reading a book. If your stomach doesn't make a sound, you won't get out of bed to obtain some food from the kitchen.

You left your room to eat, but stopped when you noticed Jay's room next to yours. You're ready to knock on his door to ask if he's eaten, but then you pause.

"Perhaps he's sleeping," you say.

That is why, despite your worry about whether he had eaten or not, you did not bother to disturb him.

You are aware that Jay follows you in the US just to show the public that you and him are still together despite being LDR, but also, Jay is also here for the second purpose, which is for the contract that you must sign.

Even though Jay hasn't given you the contract yet, you have an idea of what's within. It was the arrangement for a one-year contract about the fake relationship.

Jay has previously discussed it with you, and you have already agreed to it, but it need your signature. He may have been eager to conclude the deal, but you wish there was still an extension.

Because you know that when that day comes, your heart will break.

You had no idea how long you'd spend in the kitchen thingking of that scenario when you decided on making a sandwich for Jay.

You placed it in front of his door with a sticky note attached. "Eat well."

As you are ready to leave, his door suddenly opens. Jay was dressed in a sleepwear shirt and pyjamas, with an eye mask on his head.

He seemed to be shocked in your presence, but he did not make it evident.

"Uh, Jay-" you were ready to tell the reason, but Jay looked at the sandwich you placed down. His furrowed faded somewhat before he grabbed the sticky note that was attached to the sandwich you made.

"You made this?" he asks.

As you nod to him, your heartbeat quickens.

"I was about to knock on your door earlier to ask you whether you eat or not, but I suppose you're sleeping, so I didn't bother you-"

"Why."

"Ha?"

You become perplexed.

"Why didn't you bother me?"

You weren't sure whether you misheard, but what he said is clear in your ears.

"Uh- because I thought you were asleep, and I'm scared you'll be furious if I wake you," you say cautiously.

Jay smirks before he gets his sandwich you prepare.

"Should I be the one to become furious instead?" he says, raising his brow and tilting his head.

You give him a serious look.

"Why is anything bad happened?" you ask concern, because it could be the reason why he looked so upset after you both left from the restaurant.

"Is there something that happened from your work?"

"See, you didn't have an idea."

He brushes his hair and walks into the kitchen, eating the sandwich you made.

You follow him.

"I haven't looked at my social media since yesterday. I had no idea something horrible had happened."

"What do you mean, social media." he says, looking at you.

"Is it not from work?" you replied.

His jaw clench.

"It was you."

You're not sure what he means because he appears to be in a pleasant mood as soon upon his arrival. However, you apologized because you felt guilty for it, even if you didn't know the reason

"I'm Sorry."

Jay looks at you after getting a can of drink from the fridge.

"Forget it, just sleep tonight, we're going to somewhere tomorrow."

As you watch him go, you realize how special he is among all the men you've met.

He is your first love.

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