Homer, Goner 《Camren》

V.

The weekend wasn't nice to Lauren, or perhaps, Lauren wasn't nice to the weekend. She had spent the two whole days brooding about whether she had done the right thing.

She must have, though. There's no reason Lauren and Camila should be flirting if Camila is flirty with everyone else. It's only fair to Lauren.

Though Lauren can't help but feel that she's missing something. Whatever it is, it makes her feel restless the entire weekend. She supposes her newfound crush on Camila won't go away easily, but she didn't think Camila touching other girls would make her this bothered.

The number of unnecessary emotions she felt after that night had surprised Lauren. One because she didn't think her crush was that strong, assumed it was something more fleeting. Evanescent. Instead, it's more like an intense awareness of Camila and everything she does accompanied by a warm feeling that grew with every interaction.

Much like now.

Almost like clockwork, a soccer ball rolls its way to the softball field. And even though Lauren knows she shouldn't be so affected by the simple sight of a plain soccer ball, she can't contain the traitorous eagerness that's currently making her stomach swirl in a wave of nervous energy.

The team is doing crunches when it happens, so Lauren has no choice but to stand up and ask for the ball. Immediately, Jade throws it to her.

And like a constant, a shadow makes its way towards Lauren. From this far, she can't tell who it is. She ignores the disloyal part of her heart that's hoping for the pretty girl with brown eyes.

But almost immediately, Lauren can tell that there's a slight difference in the way the person jogs, a little heavy on the feet but with more precise movement in each step. The figure is slender as well, very similar to Camila's stature, perhaps a little taller.

And it's not until they're a bit closer that Lauren sees who it is. It's a different pretty girl with brown eyes, yet not the same as Camila's. She tries to mask her disappointment, and she wonders how well she does in doing so. Lauren really has no right to be disheartened by the fact that it's not Camila, seeing as she was the one who mentioned to the soccer player that it really bothered her whenever she would come to the softball side of the field. Though Lauren said that, it's obviously not true. She's five feet and four inches full of indecision, denial, and inconsistent emotions.

Sighing, Lauren turns around and calls Dinah over.

"It's your girlfriend," Lauren gulps. Sure enough, Normani is slowly coming to a stop near Lauren, and the older girl wonders if the soccer player had heard what she said.

Lauren hands Dinah the ball, and Dinah blushes and pouts as she passes Lauren with hurried footsteps.

"She's not my girlfriend," she whisper-shouts to the captain, though with the unusual spring in her step. Lauren wonders how true that statement actually is.

"That's what they all say," Lauren snorts. It's not Lauren's intention to eavesdrop, but she can't help but overhear the conversation that ensued after.

"I'm not your girlfriend?" Normani asks, looking crestfallen. Her eyes are downcast, and if possible, her lips look even poutier and plumper than they usually do. What kind of human is this?

Dinah goes up to Normani with a finger on her own lips in a shushing motion.

"Not so loud, you dumdum," the softball player quietly says to Normani. "Of course you are, but the whole team doesn't need to know that."

And almost immediately, Normani is grinning again, with crescent eyes and white teeth and all. Lauren shakes her head. Oh, to be young and in love (and actually have your love reciprocated). The feeling must be nice; Lauren cannot relate. The two girls begin whispering to each other, and Lauren takes that as her cue to leave and give them a bit of space.

They're both laughing now, and Dinah is handing Normani the soccer ball. And then the soccer player is jogging back to the other side of the field, but not before looking back and giving Dinah a soft smile and kissy-face. Dinah, for her sake, makes a gagging noise. It's only when Normani faces away from her that Dinah squeals to herself and begins to sway in place in a grossly infatuated manner.

Lauren rolls her eyes. They're cute, alright, but Lauren also wants to feel that. Almost as if her brain was programmed to do so, her mind travels back to Camila. Is this how it's going to be from now on, with Camila not coming to get the soccer ball on the unfortunate (or fortunate?) times they get accidentally kicked this way? Is Camila permanently distancing herself from the softball field, and in extension, from Lauren? Or is this just a temporary thing? Perhaps it's neither, and Normani just really wanted to come to the softball field today to say hi to her girlfriend. Perhaps it's none of those, and Camila just genuinely didn't feel like retrieving the ball today.

No matter the case, Lauren doesn't want to ponder any further. She must have been thinking too much because Normani is long gone, and Dinah is staring at her with something akin to confusion as well as concern.

"What's wrong, Captain? Sad it wasn't your girlfriend?" And though it was a playful jab, Lauren can see the worry in Dinah's eyes. It seems the younger deems the lighthearted comment as a way to reduce the seriousness of the situation, and Lauren finds herself being thankful that Dinah doesn't make it weird by being too careful.

"That's preposterous," Lauren lies.

Dinah cackles, seeing through the obvious omission of truth.

"Ten laps for you, Dinah," Lauren orders suddenly.

The younger girl laughs at her, but she begins her slow jog around the field anyway. Before she gets too far away though, she looks back at Lauren and says, "Just so you know, this just makes it more obvious that I'm correct."

And then she's sprinting before Lauren could even get any other words in. The amount of disrespect has Lauren key smashing in her mind.

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