Satine [ONGOING]

SATINE (VIII)

That very same night, the pair found refuge in a small barn by the side of the road. Its blistering walls could not have looked more inviting to the two shaking souls. Madeleine was screaming when they first entered. Perhaps it was the cold, or the hunger, or the desperation in the air. The only thing the two women knew was that they couldn't seem to soothe her. They stepped carefully into the empty space. On the walls hung different farming tools in all sizes, collecting dust and rusting away by the looks of it. The ground was covered in hay, but there was no layer thick enough for them to use as a comfortable bed. As she inspected the area, Satine slowly turned to look at Florence, who was desperately rocking Madeleine to finally get some reprieve. The baby was red-faced and downright impossible to calm down, throwing her small uncontrollable chubby arms out in the air to declare her discontent to the world.
"I don't know what you want!" Florence eventually snapped, letting tears stream down her red cheeks. "I don't know what you want." She pulled her close and squeezed her tightly against her chest as her entire body shook. "For the love of god just..."
"Florence, do you want me to take her?" Satine asked as softly as she could. She had carried her this far ever since escaping the grounds of the massacre which came back to Satine in flashes as soon as she blinked or turned around. As soon as she allowed herself not to think she was forced to remember it.

In response to her question, Satine got nothing but a stubborn shake of the head. She sighed quietly then suddenly as she looked up toward the ceiling she noticed that above them, as if suspended in mid air, was a loft. Her eyes widened and without another word, but with a surge of newfound hope and energy she frantically searched for the ladder that could lead her small party up there.

"Satine what are you–" Florence began, her eyebrows angled as she looked up from her crying infant.
"Found it!" Satine exclaimed her voice laced with disbelieving chuckle. Florence made her way across the room with heavy footsteps and careful demeanour. She noticed the thick wooden ladder. Satine smiled at her.
"With any luck they'll have a thicker supply of hay there, so we can sleep in it."
"Wouldn't it be colder up there?"

Satine shook her head somewhat eagerly. "Not necessarily, trust me on this one. I grew up in a farming community." The strange pride in her voice that she had not necessarily intended on having forced an eye roll out of Florence. "And anyway," Satine added. "If someone comes in, we'll have more privacy up there, in fact, they probably won't realise we're here at all."

Florence readjusted her grip on her daughter and her eyes travelled up the ladder.

"How do we get Madeleine up there?" She naked nervously, as she kept fussing. Satine extended her arms to take the screaming child. Florence hesitated before handing over, but eventually she did. Her arms were worn and tired and she did not realise just how much she needed a break until the baby was out of her arms. Satine saw the relief wash over her pale face and smiled to herself.
"Give your maman a break will you?" She whispered to Madeleine, who was slowly calming down. She breathed through her stuffy nose and looked back at Satine with glassy tired eyes, looking all innocent once she finally stopped wailing.

Florence stared at Satine as if she had witnessed her commit axe murder. "Are you kidding me?"

Her eyes travelled onto her daughter, whom in true child fashion, gazed at her as if nothing was amiss.

"How did you–"
"I think you're tired, Florence, you deserve some rest." Satine quickly interrupted leaning over to kiss her cheek. Though there was relief in her eyes, there was also some sort of sadness, or perhaps even a touch of envy. Why would she manage to soothe her just by holding her and not her? It broke Satine's heart, for she knew she would use this to fuel her insecurity.
"I'll just carry her up, and then you take your time and follow, okay?" Satine said softly as Madeleine's small head rested against her chest. The poor woman's eyes widened and cast themselves up toward the ladder.
"What? Just carry her, like that?" She shook her head frantically. "No, no Satine, what if you–" She gulped, and didn't feel the need to finish her sentence. Satine placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Don't worry, it'll only take a second and we'll wait for you up there and we can sleep in peace for once."