Satine [ONGOING]

SATINE (XIII)

Satine thought she didn't mind what people said behind her back. She convinced herself she didn't care that Madame Fournier's mouth was spewing fabricated facts about her left right and centre. After all it wasn't even her they were really chastising. Madeleine was not technically hers. However, it hurt nonetheless. It hurts on a deeper level, beyond the realm of personal experience. Thinking of all the women, all the lives that had been ruined and continued to be, because of other people's judgement. Who was Madame Fournier to judge? Who gave her the right? And there was the fact that Florence was always there, by her side, hearing it all too. Guilt was probably eating her inside out, for a multitude of reasons, and Satine couldn't shake just how unjust that felt. So when she heard her sister whisper — or not quite whisper, but lower her voice — to talk about her potential relation to boys, it left a sour taste in her mouth."Are you alright?" She asked, and Satine didn't even bother to acknowledge her, she gave her some cutlery to set on the table. Her face must have been cold, she didn't care, as long as she didn't lash out and give her a piece of her mind, she felt she had done a good job in controlling herself. The air grew denser and denser with the unspoken frustration of the eldest sister and Gabrielle's blissful ignorance and confusion. Until little Madeleine started crying, Satine scrambled to pick her up from the floor, hushing her softly, though it did not seem to help. Her grandmother gave her a look that she interpreted as pity, which she did not like. However, in retrospect, her face held a sort of fondness that Satine had failed to notice in her anger. Madeleine felt warm in her arms, perhaps a bit too warm, but her fever had broken days earlier, it couldn't be that she was sick again. Though, just to be sure she put a hand on her forehead, it turns out she was only overheating, or crying herself into a heat stroke. Who knows? Satine sighed, and retreated into the kitchen to make her a bottle. Thank god for madame Pradier, who for some reason had some on hand. Whilst they were on the road Florence and Satine had been feeding her scarcely, with anything they could fund, and what others could spare, which was close to nothing. To the young woman's dismay, her sister followed her into the kitchen. She could hear her light breath behind her despite the constant sound of the poor baby's crying, melding with the myriad of insignificant sounds that came with her bottle preparations.

"What do you want?" She spat, though she had not meant to at first, it just slipped between her teeth, out into the world.

Gabrielle took a step back as her head snapped back. Satine's face might have paled with regret at the sight of her sister, but the damage had already been one. Gabrielle huffed, giving her the screaming baby – which she had picked up and brought to her sister in an attempt to help – and then returning into the dining room. Poor grandmother Bernadette was already bracing herself for something. She had a certain eye for atmosphere. Satine ran back into the living area, in a hurry to correct her mistake and to apologise, but it was too late, the dragon had already been unleashed, lost its shakes, and she was about to feel the brunt of her sister's wrath.

"What is wrong with you, Satine?" Gabrielle spat before she even opened her mouth, leaving her jaw hanging, her mouth shaped into a perfect 'o' like that of a fish.

"I-"
"No, genuinely what is wrong with you? What gives you the right to be angry at me!" Her face was flushing red, she gestured to herself, unable to channel her excess of frustration or energy into anything but hand gestures. "What gives you the right Satine! I'm the one who should be angry at you!"
"You are-" She attempted calmly, but Gabrielle's voice was louder, stronger and her anger ran much deeper than satine's ever could. She realised this as tears welled in her sister's eyes.

"Yes I am! Merde! You left me here, you left me here to deal with the consequences of your stupid decisions, and now you come back and we have to deal with it again!"

That stung, though Satine did not feel she was in a position to cry, nor display any emotions, she simply stared, unable to comprehend even what she was feeling as Gabrielle layed all of her negative emotions bare for her to see.