Reviving 15

Chapter 1: Tadhg

It was September 1st 2005.
Until 2 months ago I had no clue what actually living was like. I truly had never really lived, I would describe it a surviving.

I didn't have the privileged of making friends, sleeping in my own room, having personal space. I had never experienced an inch of unconditional love. But here I was now, being fed at every meal of the day, having a warm bed to sleep in every night, being comfortable enough to leave my door unlocked and not having to worry about who was keeping myself and my siblings safe.
Edel gave that to me and my siblings.
The Kavanagh's were our safe haven, but I couldn't help but feel guilty.
When I woke up this morning I felt guilt pushing down on me. It was like I knew that i deserved better than the shit that went down in that house but so did my mother.
Mam will never get to experience life outside of that monsters grasp. He will always have a hold of her.
If I hadn't cowered away and hid from my father that night than maybe, just maybe mam would still be alive. She would be here to see Joey sober and she would get to see how well Aj and Aoife are doing. She would have got to see Shannon finally thriving.
Mam would be thriving.
Mam would be getting the help she needed.

~~~

"Shan?" Johnny called out "are you almost ready to head out?"
"Yeh just a sec" she called from her bedroom.
Johnny then turned his attention to me
"Are you ready?" He questioned.
I rolled my eyes "of course I'm bleedin ready, I have been for an hour. For fuck sake Shan I'm ready to go"
Johnny shot me a warning look. I knew he loved my sister but sometimes I felt like he loved her too much.
She was my sister for God sake, I could say whatever I wanted to her.
I rolled my eyes once again.
"Go wait in the bleedin car will ya" Johnny ordered.
He threw me the keys. When I finally did reach Johnnys car the realisation that I was about to enter a school full of rich cunts dawned on me. The next 6 years was going to be hell.