❝𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧, 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥❞
☆☆☆
"I'm here, because I couldn't stand it. You being so close," he pushes a strand of hair behind my ear, "yet so far. You're beautiful. You're pretty, smart and so attractive."
I hold my b...
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I wake up surrounded in the smell of alcohol and spices, and that smell which always has me kicking my feet in excitement.
Sidhant's smell.
I've missed that smell. I'm craving it. I'm craving him.
Am I dreaming?
The headache this time is too much. My brain feels shattered, like it'll break in two. I can't even get myself to open my eyes.
There's a hand over my stomach, and I open my eyes.
Sidhant is cuddling with me, his hand around me, his face near to me, almost touching.
He isn't wearing a shirt. I can feel his taut chest muscles against my arm.
Wait. Why the fuck are we in bed together?
I scream a little loudly when the situation is comprehended by my brain.
Sidhant flutters his eyes open, with furrowed brows.
"What are you doing here?" I ask.
"Sleeping." He replies.
"I figured that out, why are you here?" I ask, feeling weird. I want to hug him and throw him out of the room at the same time.
If I stay with him, it feels like a betrayal to my mother.
"You were wasted last night. It's become a habit to take care of your hangover." He replies.
"You don't need to do that anymore." I tell him.
"If you think we're going to go seperate ways, we're going to live life seperately. You are wrong, Angel. We'll not." He says, "I promised I'll never leave, and I will not."
I sigh, "I want you to leave."
"It's not-"
"Please Sidhant, I need time. I need to process. I'm-"
"I'll give you time then." He says and gets up from the bed putting on a black shirt which lay on the floor, "As much as you need, but just know you're my final destination and I'm yours."
He leaves.
And after he leaves, I realise I wanted him to stay.
☆☆☆
I have never tried smoking before. But I think I want to. Daksh said it feels nice.
Alcohol, sex, drugs, cigarette.
Wow, I'm a complete baggage.
But Daksh even after telling me it feels good to him, refused to share his pack with me.
He says I'm already an alcohol addict and he doesn't want me to kill my lungs along with my liver too.
I sit alone in my room. Sarika wanted to stay, I shooed her away. I don't want anyone to see me like this.
Broken.
I don't know why I am broken. Is it Sidhant? Is it my mom being a killer? Is it finding out my dad raped my mom amd mom had to kill him to dave my life?
I don't know which one it is. But what I know is I feel empty. Hollow. Lifeless.
Sarika took away my alcohol. She took all the bottles with her. She says I'll become an actual addict.
I might.
Alcohol gets me going these days. I drink it to forget, and for a few blissful hours I get an escape from reality.
All this partying, drama, shagging. It helps.
See? When I'm alone all these thoughts spiral into my mind and torture me.
There's a knock on the door, and I go to open it.
Couldn't be Sarika. I asked her to leave.
Couldn't be Shanaya or Avni. Sarika mist have told them I want to be alone.
Could be Daksh. Or Sidhant.
I open the door, after fixing my hoodie a little, and I'm surprised to find someone else at the door.
.
Why is he here?
.
Vijay Oberoi.
.
"Why are you here?" I ask. My tone's rude. He's the last person I expected here.
"Rude." He says curtly.
"You're one to say. Heartless Manipulator. What have I done to be graced by your presence?"
"You're lucky, not many get to be in my presence. And I'm here to talk, because Shanaya's upset, because you're upset, and Sidhant's upset who is my.. friend. Also the hunting is near and I can't have Sid distracted."
"If this is going to be a talk about how he should be forgiven-"
"No, it's not. I'm here to genuinely help. Well, because, you.." he sighs, as if admitting this is a huge task, "tried to help me get Shanaya back when we broke up."
I want to smile. Shanaya's rubbing of on him if he's admitting to have taken my help.
I still remember last year I and Avni helped him with the letters he wrote to Shanaya.
"So.. what do you want to say?" I ask.
"It's just, go with what your heart says. The brain is an highly efficient organ, and it tends to fuck up. I have a more highly efficient brain-"
"Are you done boasting about your IQ?" I ask.
He shrugs, "What I'm saying is that organ costed me a lot of time with Shanaya. It made me do fucked up things and made me end up in bad situations. I'm not saying get together with Sid. I'm just saying, do what your heart says."
My heart says, no it screams, only one name.
SIDHANT.
And I want him. I want him with me.
"B-but my mom."
"You decide the rest. I'll take me leave." He says, and fucks off.
"Your help was very unrequired!" I shout at him. He doesn't respond.
☆☆☆
"Hello?" I put the phone to my ear, desperate to hear Ma's voice.
"Hi sweetie, how are you?" She sounds fine. As if she wasn't about to be killed a few days ago.
"I'm.." okay? No. I'm not.
"How are you and Sid doing?" She asks.
"What do you mean? He tried to kill you-"
"It was justified Nikita. It was an expected reaction. Don't tell me you're putting distance between the two of you because of me. You guys love each other and I won't be the cause of breaking you up."
"Mom, he tried to kill you. I can't-"
"I don't mind that Nikita. It didn't hurt me, him trying to kill me. What will hurt me is if you two break up because of me."
I know she's right.
He didn't know why my mom killed Keshav. Now that he does, he doesn't hate her.
