Becoming Whole, Once Again

a tale of two halves

Dexter doesn't remember anything from before the adoption. That suits him fine. His bio-family are all dead anyway, and knowing who they were won't bring them back or fix whatever fucked up part of his brain makes him itch for bloodshed.

His adopted family - Harry, Doris, and baby Debra - try their best to raise him right, he knows, but growing up getting morals he doesn't understand and masks to hide his Dark Passenger forced upon him makes the itch stronger and more difficult to ignore.

So he takes it out on squirrels, birds, and the neighbors' dog when his barking becomes unbearable. Things go alright until Harry finds the corpses. Then the force-feeding of masks and morals increases until he can barely take it.

His salvation comes in the form of a letter addressed to him, folded into perfect thirds and placed neatly inside a plain envelope. Dexter likes neatness. He's already intrigued before the letter's contents are even known to him, a very rare thing indeed.

His pulse begins to race as he unfolds the single piece of lined paper and begins to read.

Dear Dexter,

M

y name is Brian Moser. You might not remember me, but I'm your big brother. I would've contacted you sooner, but you were very difficult to track down. I suspect that was intentional on Harry Morgan's part, though.

I can tell you more if you come meet me. Miss you, little brother.

No fucking way. This has to be some kind of sick joke. Dexter thinks about the Code, and Harry's assurances that he can be truthful with him, but the defense falls flat when he realizes the Code doesn't say anything about Harry being truthful in return.

He's glad that his foster father is out of the house, because Dexter is suddenly filled with a very strong urge to gut the man and bury him in the woods with the animal corpses.

The soon-to-be ten-year-old attempts to distract himself by focusing on the letter. It doesn't mention an address where he can supposedly visit Brian, but the back side of the envelope has a return address. Tampa is a long distance for a kid to solo travel, but maybe he can convince Doris that they should take a holiday up north.

Dexter hides the letter at the bottom of his dresser drawer, safe from Harry's notice.

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The trip doesn't happen, but he writes and that's the best he can do. Brian understands and says he can wait. Dexter doesn't want to wait. He has a visceral need to know why Harry lied to him, and his brother has answers.

It's a whole two years before Dexter catches his lucky break. He hears one of the school sports teams is going to Tampa for some competition. He's not interested in sports, but it might be the only chance he gets. He's already twelve; what if another chance doesn't come and he has to wait even longer?

So he joins the team and begins to plan. He steals coins and small notes out of Doris and Harry's wallets until he's saved up what's hopefully enough to pay the bus fare to and from the hospital, and convinces the coach and supervisors to give the team a free day.

Finally, the day of the trip arrives and Dexter can feel his Dark Passenger at the back of his mind, itching to join its other half, if only briefly. It kept him up most of the night, but the adrenaline rush keeps him wide awake.

Harry seems proud of him for how well he blends in with the rest of the team. If only the man knew it was just a front. The Dark Passenger cackles.

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