my dearest mari,
its been 3 days without you.
i wish you were here
or that i could join you.
--
it was the middle of a rainy night, the therapeutic sound of light rain pattering on his window was probably what kept him sane. he stared at his ceiling, memories of her flooding his mind. this was his routine now. he woke up, brushed his teeth, went to the toilet, ate something, if anything, and went back into his bed, to think about her. the same picture flooded his mind,his kind, breathtaking , gentle girlfriend hanging from the tree in her garden. the taunting feeling that if he does this any longer, his parents will think he's being overdramatic. though, they wouldnt say that to his face
--
my dearest mari,
its been 20 days without you,
at first i didnt understand why you did it
im starting to now
--
Heros eyes,once so angelic, now just looked empty. The spark was gone, a seemingly endless void replacing it. Tears staining his face, he sat up. His room reeked of half eaten spaghetti, and worn socks, courtesy of kel. All he could hear was the pounding of his heart, and his heavy breaths. His pyjamas clung to him.
Like he wished he could do to mari, one last time.
--
my dearest mari,
its been 52 days without you,
when we met i just knew
that i already loved you true, true
--
Hero started the day with a bang. Literally. The shattering of glass pierced his ears.
"KELSEY, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THIS TIME?!" His mother screeched.
"BYE MA! HAVE A GOOD DAY!" He heard the door close, and the quick heavy footsteps of his little brother rushing away before he got grounded. He was going to face hell when he got home, and Hero, if he was awake, would have the misfortune of having to hear it.
--
my dearest mari
its been 172 days without you,
i, persist and resist the temptation to ask you:
"if one thing had been different,
would everything be different?"
--
Heros heart ached. He ached. Everything ached. It ached for her. It ached to feel her embrace once more. To hear her voice, humming a sweet melody. Now all he heard was radio silence. The smell of her perfume haunted him. The shirt she bought for him 189 days ago was always worn. The sound of aubreys wails echoed in his mind. The sound of kels shaky voice trying to reassure her,refusing to cry himself. The sound of him screaming, begging for someone to call 911, yet having to do it himself. The sound of the operator urging him to calm down. The sound of sunnys sobs as he looked at his sister hanging. The sound of basils incoherent mumbles, reassuring himself that it would all be okay.
--
my dearest mari,
its been 230 days without you,
you never gave a warning sign
(she gave so many signs)
--
Sometimes hero wishes he could dissapear. He would hear his parents argue about him. His fathers words sharp like daggers:
'wasted potential'
'a shut in'
'overdramatic'
he'd always wanted to run away with mari.
now the only way to do that was death.
--
my dearest mari,
its been 387 days without you,
every little moment spells regret
though, i dont have to feel this way
as a voice inside my head
(is it you?)
--
The memory of last night pained him. He was a terrible brother. He took everything out on Kel, his little brother. His little brother that was just trying to help. And now he could be dead. Dead because of him. All hero could do was kill people. His younger brother, his girlfriend.
When would it be himself?
--
(originally posted on a03)
(iloveorangjuice is the acc)
