Karma

4| Lanie knows All

My brows drew together in a deep V as I stared at the New York Times crossword puzzle. I recently picked up this habit after Lanie suggested that I find things to keep my mind busy. Sometimes, it kept my mind from wandering. On rare occasions, it would help with the blackout. Now with certain brunette in the city, I could definitely use the distraction.

Running into Karma the first time was like a punch to the gut. She was right; it was like I was seeing a ghost. The second time was different. Almost bittersweet. Being around her and talking to her definitely made me feel things I thought were gone. Then seeing her in her bed last night was. . . not so easy. I couldn't remember the number of times she and I had slept beside each other all those years ago. I never really felt comfortable sleeping next to anyone after that. The only other person was Jules and I did that for different reasons.

I took a bite of my breakfast sandwich and rubbed my hands together. I stared hard at the crossword puzzle. Come on, Nate. Why couldn't I concentrate? Maybe because you keep thinking about Karma. Fuck you, I said to myself and sat back in my chair. Fuck. I needed to get Karma out of my mind. I couldn't get involved with her again.

". . .Just, it's been over ten years since I've seen Nathan Jenkins. It was just a lot to process, I guess."

A cold shiver shot down my spine and I slowly glanced behind me. Holy. . . FUCK. Karma and another girl were sitting at the table behind mine. Karma's back was to me, so I was lucky she didn't see me. What do I do? Do I leave? Do I listen?

"Did he look good?" The unknown voice asked Karma.

"No, he didn't" Was her answer. I had a hard time believed that one. I didn't miss the way she looked at me these nights in the bar.

"I don't believe you," her friend chided. "He's hot, isn't he?"

"It doesn't matter, Abbs. Nathan and I were together a lifetime ago. It's not like we're going to get back together."

Well, she was right about that. Karma would never take me back, understandably so.

"Who said anything about getting back together with him? Just use him for sex."

My eyes went wide. What the. . .

"Abby!"

"What? I'm serious. I mean, you've told me about him before. You said he was the best you've ever had. That he's the only guy you've felt a connection with sexually or otherwise." There was a brief pause before Abby continued. "Besides, four years is a long time, Karma. You need to get laid."

To be honest, it didn't surprise me what Abby said. And that wasn't my ego. Karma was the best sex I've ever had, too. She was the best everything. We did have a deep connection back then. One I never had with anyone else. What did surprise me was the end of that sentence. Shit. Karma hasn't had sex in four years? I couldn't help but wonder why.

"I don't need to get laid and I don't need to use Nathan for sex. I don't need to see him again."

See? Karma and I were on the same page.

"Didn't you say he lives with Lanie, your best friend? If you reconnect with her, won't you have to reconnect with him? Or at least see him more than you want to?"

Abby had a point. Whether I wanted it to happen or not, I knew Karma was going to show up to see Lanie. Perhaps it was time that I get my own place.

Karma groaned. "Oh, God. You're right. What am I going to do, Abby?"

"Have sex."

"Why is everything about sex with you?"

"Only the important things are; and honey, this is important. I'm worried for your health. You need a really good, headboard banging, toes curling, name screaming, sex session. I'm telling you, you'll feel a lot better."