Shattered pieces of love

chapter 83

Shannon's P.O.V.

I can't think or feel anything I'm numb all over. My head is spinning with all types of thoughts. What if I don't make it in time, what if she doesn't wanna see me ? I drive faster down  the freeway and run a red light , fuck that's gonna be a ticket but I dont care honestly.  I have to get there to her .

Julie stayed home with savannah, I just need to do this in my own. Damit ! Bad timing. My phone is ringing I can't answer it and didn't wanna get in a wreck. It can wait. Auh finally,  I'm here!. Now to find a parking spot and get my ass upstairs. I rush past the front desk . Almost there ! I reach the nurses station and asking where the room as I am  trying to catch my breath " I'm looking for constance " She smiled and pointed down the hall . Nurse " room 213". I thanked , walking off to the room.

I could hear jareds voice echo out from the doorway. I walked faster and made good time . I stopped just at the edge of the entrance. Jared " hey , come in ". I was scared to truthfully. Jared " she is asleep right now she had a rough night last night . We found out she had a blood clot in her lung, there unsure what caused it but its to deep to fix , it could burst. They say she may not make it past today ". Last night what is he talking about ?

Me " wait ? So she was here last night and you just now told me that she wasn't doing good ? That's kinda cold don't you think? ". Jared exhailed and looked at me with frustration. Jared " look, I knew you were busy and all so I waited to see if she would make it through the night ". I grab my head and try and process what he has just informed me of. Me" so what your telling me is that she was close to dying ?" Jared " shannon calm down ! ". Me" don't! Don't tell me to calm down!. I'm pissed off you didn't call me yesterday when she was really sick !!! ". Jared got up and grabbed his jacket and headed to the doorway. Me" where are you going?". Jared " I've been at her bedside since. ......never mind i don't wanna get into it with you  again ! Just move! So I can go take a breather ". I stepped aside and watched him walk down the hall.

Every since we were kids , he was the one that stayed strong and didn't show tears. Me ? Well I did , I was like my mom . She had a bleeding heart when she was hurt. I was exactly the same. I walked over to her bedside and sat down grabbing foe her hand. I felt her flinch. I didn't know if I was casuing her pain or if she  was just  dreaming ?

Me" hey mama, I'm here its shannon ! I missed you I'm so  sorry I didn't come earlier.  I didn't know that you were sick. I wish that you had told me. I know that you will be ok . You have to be ok". I felt her hand go limp and I thought well, she's  deep sleeping. I kissed her head and said " I'm gonna get some coffee I will be back , I love you ".

I pushed the chair back and turned to leave . I could call jewels and let her know its all good, no need to come up. I pull out my phone and send her a quick text . Ok done. I smell coffee. Mmmmm.

I head to the elevator,   say to myself, she should sleep I won't be gone long. I push the bottom floor button. I get this weird feeling in my heart. I can't pin point what it could be,  or why I feel like crying. What's going on with my head ? Think I'm just stressed out.

Me" a tall mocha please ". She takes my card and I look around and see that the place is pretty calm at the moment. I smell soup and chicken I'm hungry. I grab my coffee , sipping it god that hits the spot!. My phone is ringing, I pull it to my cheek and look at it. Its Julie? I answer it and say" hey babe what's up?". Julie " shannon? Hey are you ok ?". She went quite on me I started to worry then. Julie " I feel something is wrong, go check on your mom please ". It gives me chills when she says this. But she does tend to worry a lot for nothing But just in case , I go check. I'm pretty sure she is sleeping,  just like when I left her .

I catch the elevator taking it to the floor I neededv. My stomach drops and I feel uneasy. The doors opened , I glance up , I think now , julie couldn't be more right. Doctors, four of them in her room , shouting, moving her to on her right side. Vomit escapes her mouth. Its gut churning and makes me feel quesy. That's all, she just had to throw up. But her eyes were closed the whole time? That's strange?

One of the male doctors comes over and grabs my shoulder. Doctor " she's on her way out right now , if I were you, i'd say my last goodbyes ". Goodbye? No , I don't want to ! I don't want to tell her my last words or her her's back.

I shake my head and wait for myself to wake up from this nightmare. Any second now ,I will be back in bed with my wife and my mother will be back in her's . I open my eyes and look again to see the same scene I was trying to erase from my vision.

I can't be here when she dies. It's not supposed to end like this! I have to get out or here,  but jareds not back yet. What if something happens when I go away. I couldn't bear the thought of that guilt on my conscious.

I hear footsteps coming and to my relief its him and he's with Nina ? Why is she here? This doesn't concern her god damit !. It's family shit !. Me" why did you have to bring her?". Nina shot me a look but hell I didn't give a fuck. She has jared brain washed anyhow.

Nina " you know with a stanky attitude like that,  no wonder your mom gave up on you ". The hell she just tell me ?. I get in her face and say with rage in my tone " you little meddler , I wonder where you would be if it wasn't for jareds money hmmm ? Isn't that why your with him ?!!!!  ".

She slapped me with her right hand and now I was even more livid. Jared " don't talk to her like that asshole !". Me" mamas boy !". Jared " i'd rather be that then be a fuckin drunk like dad was shannon , isn't that who you model yourself after these days ?". I was done! This time ,  I let my fist do the talking .

One shot to his jaw , shut his ass right up. A doctor stepped in ,  just as jared was coming after me .And then , out of nowhere , Julie arrived unannounced as  well with my daughter in her arms half asleep. She looked very upset. Julie " do I need to ask you all to leave ? Do you not have any respect for your own mother who lays dying in the bed ? It's a shame that you let your petty differences get in the way . I'm no psychologist, but I can say this. Once she is gone ,your all that you have as brothers . I lost my father to cancer when I was younger . I'd give my left arm to see his face again. Show some respect to the one that brought you into this world . Damit , get over your fuckin past and move on,  start new let it go , fuckin get over your big egos!! I'm sick of you two fighting . Enough !!! Now let's be a family for once & be here in the moment,   love her until she leaves us. It breaks my heart that you to hate each other over stupid shit and Nina did nothing to either of you ! That's my sister , you hate her then I don't like you either. ".

I knew she was right . I tunred to jared and say I'm sorry and we hug. It had been ahwile since that occurred. Jared " I'm sorry too . Want some or this bagel?". I take a piece off and chew it. Me " thank you , for being here for me man ". Jared " anytime ". We all sit beside her bed and surround her with love. No one was going anywhere for the next few hours. Five hours alter  that  day she died. But we all  said our goodbyes to her  , then kissed her farewell. But we did it as a unit , a family. Finally after all the bickering, things were healing . At last . Tomorrow, we would lay her to rest and say our final goodbyes.